Rugby
Created | Updated Sep 21, 2005
(1) A posh school in the English midlands; or
(2) A game purportedly invented at (1) above by one William Webb Ellis, a troublesome boy who, having much disdain for the game of football, picked up and ran with the ball. Upon reaching his opponents' goal-line, the story goes (apocryphal some say) that young William was told that he had not scored a goal, but his was "a damned good try".
Since these earliest days, the game of rugby has split between two "codes", these being Rugby Union and Rugby League. Rugby Union is played by 15 "southern jessies" per side (according to League players) and 13 "northern b*st*rds" per side (according to Union players).
The game has no rules as such; rather it has "laws" that need to be adjudicated on by a referee, who apparently is frequently blind, of questionable sexuality and whose parentage is oft-times up for debate.
A game is won by the side that scores the more points, which can be achieved by running-in tries, kicking goals or kicking penalties, although benefits accrue occasionally in players kicking each other.
Players vary greatly in terms of size; those in the "scrum" for example, tend to be on the large side, have little to no feeling toward pain (taken or meted out) and frequently bleed a lot. Midfield players and backs on the other hand tend to have a far lower centre of gravity and also a propensity to talk a lot - even when knocked out. Hookers, by the way, are not to be confused with Eccentrica Galumbits (q.v.).
The game involves much off-the-field social activity, but since this is largely based around fun and games with alcohol (q.v.) and oriental foods in the human gastro-intestinal tract, these activities are best not described in too much detail - in deference to the more squeamish of our subscribers.
For further reading, see the entries on A&E, Adultery, Aggression, Bestiality, Blood Supply, Fornication, Human Lymphatic System, Retaliation and Wales.
(2) A game purportedly invented at (1) above by one William Webb Ellis, a troublesome boy who, having much disdain for the game of football, picked up and ran with the ball. Upon reaching his opponents' goal-line, the story goes (apocryphal some say) that young William was told that he had not scored a goal, but his was "a damned good try".
Since these earliest days, the game of rugby has split between two "codes", these being Rugby Union and Rugby League. Rugby Union is played by 15 "southern jessies" per side (according to League players) and 13 "northern b*st*rds" per side (according to Union players).
The game has no rules as such; rather it has "laws" that need to be adjudicated on by a referee, who apparently is frequently blind, of questionable sexuality and whose parentage is oft-times up for debate.
A game is won by the side that scores the more points, which can be achieved by running-in tries, kicking goals or kicking penalties, although benefits accrue occasionally in players kicking each other.
Players vary greatly in terms of size; those in the "scrum" for example, tend to be on the large side, have little to no feeling toward pain (taken or meted out) and frequently bleed a lot. Midfield players and backs on the other hand tend to have a far lower centre of gravity and also a propensity to talk a lot - even when knocked out. Hookers, by the way, are not to be confused with Eccentrica Galumbits (q.v.).
The game involves much off-the-field social activity, but since this is largely based around fun and games with alcohol (q.v.) and oriental foods in the human gastro-intestinal tract, these activities are best not described in too much detail - in deference to the more squeamish of our subscribers.
For further reading, see the entries on A&E, Adultery, Aggression, Bestiality, Blood Supply, Fornication, Human Lymphatic System, Retaliation and Wales.
