Sweden: It's Mudbugs, People, Not Crayfish
Created | Updated Sep 11, 2004
A few notes on Sweden from a New Yorker.
The first thing you notice about Sweden is that Swedes drive around with their headlights on during the day. They have to; it’s the law. They claim it makes the cars easier to see, which is probably true in the north where it’s darker for longer stretches during the year. In Stockholm and in the south, it just seems kind of silly.
The second thing you notice, if you walk around Stockholm at all, is that pedestrians have the right of way over bicycles and cars, and bicycles have the right of way over cars. The result of this is that young Swedes think nothing of walking into a crosswalk against a red light, even with cars barreling toward the intersection, with the kind of nonchalance New Yorkers take a lifetime to acquire. A friend did this in the main shopping district of Stockholm and two cars collided. All the Swedes kind of shrugged.
Even if she had been hit, the automobile drivers would have been automatically been legally at fault and possibly given a stiff fine. The pedestrian, assuming she lives, would have all bills paid for by the state health system, but Swedes apparently can’t sue each another so there would be no cash windfall.
At each crosswalk they have a button to push when you want to cross—and get this—it actually works. For a Yank like me, this is a revelation. First you hear a click, click, click, like a timer, then the traffic light turns red and then you hear a fast clickclickclick while the pedestrian light is green. The pedestrian-activated signals in New York are for decoration.
The third thing you notice, particularly if you come from New York, is that you cannot buy alcohol at just any store (except for crummy 3% beer). You have to go to a "Systembolaget," which is the government-run liquor store. It’s not open on Saturdays or Sundays, so Fridays in a Systembolaget are a madhouse, or as close as anything ever gets to a madhouse in Sweden. There is some talk of making the Systembolaget open on Saturdays, too, to cut back on bootlegging, moonshine and black market alcohol, and Swedes tend to favor this change. It may have happened by now.
This artificial structure of alcohol sales was designed to decrease alcoholism and suicide during the long, dark, cold winters that grip most of the country. It doesn’t do much good, though, because there is no restriction on the amount you can buy, and nobody keeps track anyway, so Swedes just buy a lot when they go, and they buy often. If you don’t make it to the Systembolaget before it closes, you’re stuck with low-alcohol beer available at the groceries, or you can bum a bottle of schnapps from a friend.
...
Swedes have mastered the art of the bed-head hair-do. And not just a few of them. A lot of them. It usually looks pretty good, but occasionally you realize that some of the more spectacular examples are real bed-head. These public displays of hair may be related to their ability to dress simply and casually and still look stylish and well-groomed. Even the brutish looking painters (who wear suspenders, just like the painters in the Menthos commercials) look like they could visit King Carl XVI Gustav and ask for Princess Victoria’s hand in marriage.
Which reminds me: when in Sweden, don’t make fun of the king. Some folks still put some stock in their royalty, and they have whole tabloids devoted to the goings on of the royal family.
Another thing that strikes me about Swedes is that they don’t wear a lot of blue jeans. Lots of other colors of jeans, though, and the men seem to like cotton pants with lots of pockets, buttons, snaps and zippers, and funky, complex shoes, maybe with zippers on the top, or weird flaps of leather. Very few sneakers/tennis shoes/trainers.
Don’t wear lace up boots to Sweden, because Swedes take off their shoes and leave them by the door every time they enter a home. Tying and untying boots is a real hassle, let me tell you.
One spectacular apartment I saw had a rather elaborate shoe-holding setup in the foyer. Long shelves at an angle with dozens of pairs of shoes, hooks nearby for bags and coats, and a couple of benches to aid in taking off and putting on your footwear.
This apartment also had a fantastic nursery, with high ceilings, broad wood and aged-looking primary colors. A woman Elizabeth and her husband live there with their two daughters, Ebba and Klara, who are so cute you just want to fall down on your knees and thank God or whoever that he/she appreciates beautiful things. These two girls will be knocking the boys dead in 15 years.
Which leads me to refutation of the stereotype of Swedish women. Although there are plenty of busty blondes, there are no more per capita than in New York. The difference is that in Sweden the hair color and breasts are real.
The truth is, Swedes comes in as many sizes and shapes as people do anywhere, and the variety is interesting and enjoyable. Swedish women do not tend to do a lot of primping in the morning (at least the Swedes I know) or fooling with curling irons or hair dryers or makeup mirrors. They prefer to look fresh, very appealing, very natural. I fell in love at least a dozen times.
...
Let’s talk about crayfish.When I was there in August, they held a Kräftskiva. A crayfish party. It’s one of those things they do because they’ve always done it. Kind of in the same way we cut up pumpkins in October and nobody remembers why anymore.
I don’t know about other Swedish parties of this kind, but this one involved singing. Organized singing. With song sheets and shots of schnapps after each go-round. They even had a song in English, for me. It was supposedly to the tune of "Over the Mountain" but the words didn’t fit any song I know with the word "mountain" anywhere in it. No matter, because most of them still got pissed (in the British sense), and we had a fantastic time eating crayfish.
The decorations included big, colorful moons, a shot glass at every seat and large welcoming candles by the door, and the food was plates of crayfish, mounds of bread, butter, hard bread (like Wasa crackers) and salad.This is all, apparently, typical of a Kräftskiva.
While we’re on food: lax and dill are a treat. Lax is salmon, and is pronounced "lox" like the similar item in New York we eat with bagels. They people I visited also ate potatos, small and boiled, and someone brings them around to your seat and lets you pick. Also sour cream, dill sauce, finely chopped green onions, tomatoes for breakfast, thick yogurt-tasting milk-like stuff with cereal, French bread with butter and caviar spread for breakfast. Otherwise, they eat like us, only more vegetables and less fast food.
I told them that in part of this country people call crayfish "mudbugs," so now half of Stockholm is going around saying mudbugs when they mean crayfish/crawfish/crawdads. (The mudbugs thing happens to be true, but I think mostly in Louisiana).
The Swedes, to a person, find languages and wordplay interesting. English is a strong second language, and if you’re mangling Swedish when buying subway tickets, they’ll switch to English to make their point, even when they don’t know you speak it.
The Swedes learn British English in the schools, but American English from music, television and movies, so it can be a little eccentric at times. A brochure may have the Union Jack on it, but when you read the text, it’s patently American.
Swedish actually has so much in common with English, and is so littered with English words and phrases, that in a week you can have useful bits of Swedish to get your point across in any situation. Swedish sounds like English spoken through a door. What’s frustrating though, is that outside of Sweden and parts of Finland there is absolutely no use for your new language. I tried it with the Air France flight attendants on the way home and it got me nowhere.
...
They love Ricki Lake. I’m not kidding. And they’ve just begun to watch the Jerry Springer show.
...
Swedish music generally is light, hooky, jangly pop.
...
The bars mostly close at one in the morning.
...
They call for taxis rather than hail them on the street.
...
The subway is good, but no better or worse than New York's. A couple of the stations, particularly the one under Gamla Stan (the old town), have spectacular formations of rocks, part real, and part made from that sandstone-looking stuff they use in zoos.
...
If you’re ever remodeling your home or office, you should seriously consider Swedish furniture or a Swedish architect. Swedish design (as many of you know) is clean, uncluttered, bright, open, airy, with soft, light woods. Ikea is not even the half of it.
The first thing you notice about Sweden is that Swedes drive around with their headlights on during the day. They have to; it’s the law. They claim it makes the cars easier to see, which is probably true in the north where it’s darker for longer stretches during the year. In Stockholm and in the south, it just seems kind of silly.
The second thing you notice, if you walk around Stockholm at all, is that pedestrians have the right of way over bicycles and cars, and bicycles have the right of way over cars. The result of this is that young Swedes think nothing of walking into a crosswalk against a red light, even with cars barreling toward the intersection, with the kind of nonchalance New Yorkers take a lifetime to acquire. A friend did this in the main shopping district of Stockholm and two cars collided. All the Swedes kind of shrugged.
Even if she had been hit, the automobile drivers would have been automatically been legally at fault and possibly given a stiff fine. The pedestrian, assuming she lives, would have all bills paid for by the state health system, but Swedes apparently can’t sue each another so there would be no cash windfall.
At each crosswalk they have a button to push when you want to cross—and get this—it actually works. For a Yank like me, this is a revelation. First you hear a click, click, click, like a timer, then the traffic light turns red and then you hear a fast clickclickclick while the pedestrian light is green. The pedestrian-activated signals in New York are for decoration.
The third thing you notice, particularly if you come from New York, is that you cannot buy alcohol at just any store (except for crummy 3% beer). You have to go to a "Systembolaget," which is the government-run liquor store. It’s not open on Saturdays or Sundays, so Fridays in a Systembolaget are a madhouse, or as close as anything ever gets to a madhouse in Sweden. There is some talk of making the Systembolaget open on Saturdays, too, to cut back on bootlegging, moonshine and black market alcohol, and Swedes tend to favor this change. It may have happened by now.
This artificial structure of alcohol sales was designed to decrease alcoholism and suicide during the long, dark, cold winters that grip most of the country. It doesn’t do much good, though, because there is no restriction on the amount you can buy, and nobody keeps track anyway, so Swedes just buy a lot when they go, and they buy often. If you don’t make it to the Systembolaget before it closes, you’re stuck with low-alcohol beer available at the groceries, or you can bum a bottle of schnapps from a friend.
...
Swedes have mastered the art of the bed-head hair-do. And not just a few of them. A lot of them. It usually looks pretty good, but occasionally you realize that some of the more spectacular examples are real bed-head. These public displays of hair may be related to their ability to dress simply and casually and still look stylish and well-groomed. Even the brutish looking painters (who wear suspenders, just like the painters in the Menthos commercials) look like they could visit King Carl XVI Gustav and ask for Princess Victoria’s hand in marriage.
Which reminds me: when in Sweden, don’t make fun of the king. Some folks still put some stock in their royalty, and they have whole tabloids devoted to the goings on of the royal family.
Another thing that strikes me about Swedes is that they don’t wear a lot of blue jeans. Lots of other colors of jeans, though, and the men seem to like cotton pants with lots of pockets, buttons, snaps and zippers, and funky, complex shoes, maybe with zippers on the top, or weird flaps of leather. Very few sneakers/tennis shoes/trainers.
Don’t wear lace up boots to Sweden, because Swedes take off their shoes and leave them by the door every time they enter a home. Tying and untying boots is a real hassle, let me tell you.
One spectacular apartment I saw had a rather elaborate shoe-holding setup in the foyer. Long shelves at an angle with dozens of pairs of shoes, hooks nearby for bags and coats, and a couple of benches to aid in taking off and putting on your footwear.
This apartment also had a fantastic nursery, with high ceilings, broad wood and aged-looking primary colors. A woman Elizabeth and her husband live there with their two daughters, Ebba and Klara, who are so cute you just want to fall down on your knees and thank God or whoever that he/she appreciates beautiful things. These two girls will be knocking the boys dead in 15 years.
Which leads me to refutation of the stereotype of Swedish women. Although there are plenty of busty blondes, there are no more per capita than in New York. The difference is that in Sweden the hair color and breasts are real.
The truth is, Swedes comes in as many sizes and shapes as people do anywhere, and the variety is interesting and enjoyable. Swedish women do not tend to do a lot of primping in the morning (at least the Swedes I know) or fooling with curling irons or hair dryers or makeup mirrors. They prefer to look fresh, very appealing, very natural. I fell in love at least a dozen times.
...
Let’s talk about crayfish.When I was there in August, they held a Kräftskiva. A crayfish party. It’s one of those things they do because they’ve always done it. Kind of in the same way we cut up pumpkins in October and nobody remembers why anymore.
I don’t know about other Swedish parties of this kind, but this one involved singing. Organized singing. With song sheets and shots of schnapps after each go-round. They even had a song in English, for me. It was supposedly to the tune of "Over the Mountain" but the words didn’t fit any song I know with the word "mountain" anywhere in it. No matter, because most of them still got pissed (in the British sense), and we had a fantastic time eating crayfish.
The decorations included big, colorful moons, a shot glass at every seat and large welcoming candles by the door, and the food was plates of crayfish, mounds of bread, butter, hard bread (like Wasa crackers) and salad.This is all, apparently, typical of a Kräftskiva.
While we’re on food: lax and dill are a treat. Lax is salmon, and is pronounced "lox" like the similar item in New York we eat with bagels. They people I visited also ate potatos, small and boiled, and someone brings them around to your seat and lets you pick. Also sour cream, dill sauce, finely chopped green onions, tomatoes for breakfast, thick yogurt-tasting milk-like stuff with cereal, French bread with butter and caviar spread for breakfast. Otherwise, they eat like us, only more vegetables and less fast food.
I told them that in part of this country people call crayfish "mudbugs," so now half of Stockholm is going around saying mudbugs when they mean crayfish/crawfish/crawdads. (The mudbugs thing happens to be true, but I think mostly in Louisiana).
The Swedes, to a person, find languages and wordplay interesting. English is a strong second language, and if you’re mangling Swedish when buying subway tickets, they’ll switch to English to make their point, even when they don’t know you speak it.
The Swedes learn British English in the schools, but American English from music, television and movies, so it can be a little eccentric at times. A brochure may have the Union Jack on it, but when you read the text, it’s patently American.
Swedish actually has so much in common with English, and is so littered with English words and phrases, that in a week you can have useful bits of Swedish to get your point across in any situation. Swedish sounds like English spoken through a door. What’s frustrating though, is that outside of Sweden and parts of Finland there is absolutely no use for your new language. I tried it with the Air France flight attendants on the way home and it got me nowhere.
...
They love Ricki Lake. I’m not kidding. And they’ve just begun to watch the Jerry Springer show.
...
Swedish music generally is light, hooky, jangly pop.
...
The bars mostly close at one in the morning.
...
They call for taxis rather than hail them on the street.
...
The subway is good, but no better or worse than New York's. A couple of the stations, particularly the one under Gamla Stan (the old town), have spectacular formations of rocks, part real, and part made from that sandstone-looking stuff they use in zoos.
...
If you’re ever remodeling your home or office, you should seriously consider Swedish furniture or a Swedish architect. Swedish design (as many of you know) is clean, uncluttered, bright, open, airy, with soft, light woods. Ikea is not even the half of it.
