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A white plant substance commonly used in the making of fabrics, the filling of cushions and the production of fine threads. Despite rumours to the contrary, cotton cannot get you off a drunk driving charge. This discovery was cleverly made by one American teamster when he was pulled over. Upon seeing the flashing lights behind him, the man took off his trousers and his underwear and ate them, thinking that the cotton would absorb the alcohol in his breath. This proved to be an unsuccessful experiment, and in fact led to the popular rise of the phrase 'Cotton Mouth', which is said to be what you feel when you wake up following an inebriated sleep.

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