Ten Easy Ways to Start a Fight
Created | Updated Sep 5, 2002
1. Punch someone
Considered crude by most experts, but maybe employed by amateurs, or those simply curious about the world of fighting.
2. Call someone a puff
This is the classic gambit, and deservedly popular.
3. Spill someones drink
An approach second only to method 3, but should be used with caution. In order to be effective, you must also refuse to buy a replacement. There is always the danger that the situation will only lead to an argument, so to on the safe side, deny spilling it and suggest that only a puff would choose that type of drink anyway.
4. Chat up someones girlfriend
Frequently successful, but can fail at the first hurdle if the girl tells you to p**s off.
5. Look at someone
An expert strategy, but potentially very risky, since only psychopaths and neanderthals object to being looked at.
Methods 6 to 9
These are reciprocal versions of methods 2 to 5, ie accuse someone of calling you a puff; spilling your drink; chatting up your girlfriend; looking at you.
10. Wait for someone to punch you
Technically speaking, this is not starting the fight.
Considered crude by most experts, but maybe employed by amateurs, or those simply curious about the world of fighting.
2. Call someone a puff
This is the classic gambit, and deservedly popular.
3. Spill someones drink
An approach second only to method 3, but should be used with caution. In order to be effective, you must also refuse to buy a replacement. There is always the danger that the situation will only lead to an argument, so to on the safe side, deny spilling it and suggest that only a puff would choose that type of drink anyway.
4. Chat up someones girlfriend
Frequently successful, but can fail at the first hurdle if the girl tells you to p**s off.
5. Look at someone
An expert strategy, but potentially very risky, since only psychopaths and neanderthals object to being looked at.
Methods 6 to 9
These are reciprocal versions of methods 2 to 5, ie accuse someone of calling you a puff; spilling your drink; chatting up your girlfriend; looking at you.
10. Wait for someone to punch you
Technically speaking, this is not starting the fight.
