Lava Lamps and Beanbags

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Lava Lamps resemble large globules of coloured sperm floating in pretty coloured water. They are largely accredited for being distracting to the human eye and probably account for the lack of spritual awakening in the human race. This being becuase the reason why people do not become spiritually content or fulfilled is due to the fact that people get distracted by largely pointless and irrelevnt details, such as people not wearing enough hats. Beanbags also distract people who, upon sitting on them say to themselves, "Why are they called bean bags when they don't contain beans, and obviously contain some sort of Polystyrene balls?" Rather than asking questions such as "What's it all about?" and "How do I acheive spiritual fullfilment?" Lavalamps and beanbags are therefor bad for us and should be stopped at all costs and.... Isn't Adam and Joe about to start....

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