What the Hell? - just a ditty to start it off
Created | Updated Jan 6, 2008
Is there Life After Death? - no one knows , but what if someone managed to get intouch , even write a novel
The Guide to the After Life - Essential Reading to navigate through Life after Death.
Questions answered:
- What's the population of After Life, does everyone who dies go there?
- Can I have sex with other dead people?
- How do I find my wife , does she have an address and mobile number?
- Can I revisit the living world after death, and can I walk through walls?
- Do you still have to go to work or is it purely State financed?
- How does Dead Society work , are there still different countries or is it a totally different non physical environment?
- Do you have to eat and drink to sustain death ?
- What are the Dying conditions like are there different Dying standards or is everyone considered equal?
- What if I don't like death , what are my options in the After Life?
Most families have a relative who either are total believers or non-believers in Life After Death. For example my Uncle Gordon died nearly 4 years ago and he was definitely a no nonsence kind of guy , " you must be a fool if you believe in the spirit world, I'll prove to you one way or the other, I'll come back and contact you after I die" No contact yet but is that conclusive? Maybe not everyone who dies does have the opportunity to contact us , or maybe you need a 'Medium' to be the conduit between Life and Death. For the purposes of this short story , I will be following Gordon through his Journey from Life to Death, mainly because the man that I knew ( to be fair I didn't know him that well)was an interesting , intelligent, fourthright chap that would find the challenges of death quite enlightening , humbling and very comical , there's bound to be a few laughs along the way.
The sun was shining brightly through the thin curtains of the bedroom again , waking Gordon from what would appear to have been a miraculously refreshing night's sleep."My god I haven't felt this well for months, I can even breath easy again" . He also noticed that he was no longer attached to the oxygen mask and tank that had been a constant irritation but a necessary life support system for him over the past 3 weeks. Everything in the room appeared to be the same but somehow much brighter and in sharper focus than he remembered the old photographs and wall prints ever being before. This was shocking enough for Gordon, to warrant a quick rub of his eyes to make sure he actually was awake and not in some subconsious zone of wishful reality. "Well I'll be buggered ! " This was amazing everything in the room was in perfect clarity even though he no longer wore his thick lensed bi -focals that had been a resident part of his face furniture for the past 35 years.There was some mighty strange medicine at work here, but that would be impossible as there had been no change to the decongestant and relaxant horse pills that the quack had been prescribing the past few weeks.
It was great to be up and about again , all he could hear was just the normal natural country noises of leaves rustling in the breeze and the occasional bird chirping out in the back garden, the house was perfectly peaceful , no TV, no radio, no Dyson and it's cyclonic action, no cars, no planes,no phones (land line or mobile) even the noisy pipework in the house feeding the plumbling was quiet. It was as if he had been transported back to a time before man made technology. "What is this all about!!" Gordon shouted to fill the tomb like quietness of the house. " This Peace and Quiet is enough to do ya bleedin' head in !! What's happened? have the Marshens landed and beamed everyone up or has everyone gone on holiday with bleedin British Airways………typical I didn't get invited !!" He continued on his journey across the landing, and downstairs , shaking his head as he went in an attempt to clear his confused thoughts. The house smelt fresher than usual , not as stuffy as normal, the air was fresh and clean but not at all cold.
No dogs, no cats, no wife , no sign of any life at all , what the blazers was going on? All Gordon knew was that compared to the previous day all his problems seemed far away, no more pain, no more anxiety that he wouldn't recover and would be slipping away , the end of the road , the train hitting the buffers at the end of the line in ……………….Deathsville!! "All change , this service terminates in Deathsville, please listen out for announcements if you wish to connect to an onward service, to another destination. " Yeah move on up !! Thought Gordon, to your final destination. Amazingly this was a quantum leap of discovery for Gordon, to even be considering the notion that he had fallen off his mortal coil and was now Dead as a door nail , Brown Bread, Deceased, the rock star formerly know as Gordon Starkey, he had infact lost his battle with his long term illness …………….."F**cking typical, still gotta be me after I'm dead!!" he muttered under his breath as he started thinking of ways that would prove his demise.
The Guide to the After Life - Essential Reading to navigate through Life after Death.
Questions answered:
- What's the population of After Life, does everyone who dies go there?
- Can I have sex with other dead people?
- How do I find my wife , does she have an address and mobile number?
- Can I revisit the living world after death, and can I walk through walls?
- Do you still have to go to work or is it purely State financed?
- How does Dead Society work , are there still different countries or is it a totally different non physical environment?
- Do you have to eat and drink to sustain death ?
- What are the Dying conditions like are there different Dying standards or is everyone considered equal?
- What if I don't like death , what are my options in the After Life?
Most families have a relative who either are total believers or non-believers in Life After Death. For example my Uncle Gordon died nearly 4 years ago and he was definitely a no nonsence kind of guy , " you must be a fool if you believe in the spirit world, I'll prove to you one way or the other, I'll come back and contact you after I die" No contact yet but is that conclusive? Maybe not everyone who dies does have the opportunity to contact us , or maybe you need a 'Medium' to be the conduit between Life and Death. For the purposes of this short story , I will be following Gordon through his Journey from Life to Death, mainly because the man that I knew ( to be fair I didn't know him that well)was an interesting , intelligent, fourthright chap that would find the challenges of death quite enlightening , humbling and very comical , there's bound to be a few laughs along the way.
The sun was shining brightly through the thin curtains of the bedroom again , waking Gordon from what would appear to have been a miraculously refreshing night's sleep."My god I haven't felt this well for months, I can even breath easy again" . He also noticed that he was no longer attached to the oxygen mask and tank that had been a constant irritation but a necessary life support system for him over the past 3 weeks. Everything in the room appeared to be the same but somehow much brighter and in sharper focus than he remembered the old photographs and wall prints ever being before. This was shocking enough for Gordon, to warrant a quick rub of his eyes to make sure he actually was awake and not in some subconsious zone of wishful reality. "Well I'll be buggered ! " This was amazing everything in the room was in perfect clarity even though he no longer wore his thick lensed bi -focals that had been a resident part of his face furniture for the past 35 years.There was some mighty strange medicine at work here, but that would be impossible as there had been no change to the decongestant and relaxant horse pills that the quack had been prescribing the past few weeks.
It was great to be up and about again , all he could hear was just the normal natural country noises of leaves rustling in the breeze and the occasional bird chirping out in the back garden, the house was perfectly peaceful , no TV, no radio, no Dyson and it's cyclonic action, no cars, no planes,no phones (land line or mobile) even the noisy pipework in the house feeding the plumbling was quiet. It was as if he had been transported back to a time before man made technology. "What is this all about!!" Gordon shouted to fill the tomb like quietness of the house. " This Peace and Quiet is enough to do ya bleedin' head in !! What's happened? have the Marshens landed and beamed everyone up or has everyone gone on holiday with bleedin British Airways………typical I didn't get invited !!" He continued on his journey across the landing, and downstairs , shaking his head as he went in an attempt to clear his confused thoughts. The house smelt fresher than usual , not as stuffy as normal, the air was fresh and clean but not at all cold.
No dogs, no cats, no wife , no sign of any life at all , what the blazers was going on? All Gordon knew was that compared to the previous day all his problems seemed far away, no more pain, no more anxiety that he wouldn't recover and would be slipping away , the end of the road , the train hitting the buffers at the end of the line in ……………….Deathsville!! "All change , this service terminates in Deathsville, please listen out for announcements if you wish to connect to an onward service, to another destination. " Yeah move on up !! Thought Gordon, to your final destination. Amazingly this was a quantum leap of discovery for Gordon, to even be considering the notion that he had fallen off his mortal coil and was now Dead as a door nail , Brown Bread, Deceased, the rock star formerly know as Gordon Starkey, he had infact lost his battle with his long term illness …………….."F**cking typical, still gotta be me after I'm dead!!" he muttered under his breath as he started thinking of ways that would prove his demise.
