Ms Cirencester and the temptation to press buttons.

She's put the baby on the floor. Again. For the love of moses woman, what kind of mother are you? No, don't talk to her, pick the baby up. Right, now feed the baby. Good, that's right, now put the baby in the cot. No, you stupid woman, not the floor...

Meet my sim, Natasha. She badly wants to be popular. Unfortunately for her she's just had twins, out of wedlock too. The father is a bum, also gay, so no help there. A single mother of twins and she's afraid of chainging nappys (also afraid of vomiting so the pregnancy was no picnic). What kind of mother puts a newborn down on the floor then absentmindedly wanders off to talk to her mates.

It was obvious from the start that she wasn't fit for motherhood. The first day she moved in and what did she want to buy? A fridge? A bed? A toilet even? No, she wanted to buy a bar. Sod basic necessities, right? Then there's her appearance. It's not exactly inspiring of motherly confidence and it's not so mutch the tiny shorts and dodgy T shirt, really, it's more the full face tattoo. Charming in a bachelor, all black swirls, very fun. Not so sure how it's going to look on the school run. It might be face paint, I suppose, but since it doesn't come off in the shower I'm thinking she's going to have to have that baby lazered off now that she's a respectable mother.

I don't know what possessed me, letting her get pregnant. She was playing with her boy toy Oliver, having fun, no strings and all that. Moved to the bed, and there it was...the 'try for a baby' option. I didn't think he'd go for it! He's a piggin' romance sim, what does he want with children. Even if he did, I didn't think she'd actually get knocked up the first time! No, that's no excuse. It's my fault and I know it. I just couldn't resist poking and prodding to see what would happen.

In my defence there is no way I could have anticipated twins. One baby I think she could have coped with. Maybe. Just. With two she's going to be knackered and miserable all the bloody time. She can't even take her maternity leave. She has to get a promotion, she's not earning enough to keep two babies.

What she want's most in the worls is to have a party. Oh, and eat a luncheonmeat sandwich. The sandwich might be doable but the only party baloons she's going to be seeing are the kiddies birthday type.

The Bromleys

What is it with popularity sims and babies? Augustus won't leave his sister's baby alone...there he goes again picking little Henry up and putting him on the floor. Natasha was bad enough but at least the twins are her babies. And she wasn't going to get them specifically to put them on the floor. She's just a bit absentminded, poor dear....

Now, there's no excuse for that Augustus. Honestly, how callous. He got the baby out of the cot, put it on the floor then expressed disgust at it. This is not the first time. It's quite the hobby for Augustus, so much so that he won't get a full nights sleep, eat a whole meal or finish a shower without springing up at least once to take the baby out of its cot and drop it on the floor. Perhaps he just wants to help but doesn't know how. Perhaps it was a mistake to choose the lime and yellow cot. It is a little eye bleeding. I suppose it's possible that he's so offended by the cot that his conscience won't let him leave the baby in there...

Now, Augustus is the love of Natasha's life. That's what he was designed for. Pity they've never met really. Love in general has not been kind to him. He had a fling with Greg Hove but Greg is married to Marcus and with Marcus being a money sim and bringing in the big bucks there's not much chance of Greg throwing over the cushy life to start over with Augustus. It all came to a head the other day. Marcus had decided that he just couldn't live without a bit of the other in the changing booths at the Fallowfield Bargainarama. So he dragged Marcus off for a bit of harmless fun. He took some clothes into a cubicle as cover, and it tells you all you need to know that he chose the one with a camera in it, then he called his hubby in and they set the booth to rockin'. Of course Augustus walked in and went completely postal.