"...And Roses Fell From the Sky..."
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
A recent posting by the august Irving Washington posed the question "How Do I...Get My Roommate to Stop Wearing Cologne?" My arch reply was that he should consider talking to his roommate. And, failing to reach an accomodation which suited them both, they should proceed to mark territory--since that is obviously what the odiferous friend was doing--by urinating along the designated boundary. But it occurs to me that I was being too hard on poor Irving. The key here is balance. Of course one should be considerate of one's neighbor, even one's roommate, but should that consideration extend to the universe of strangers, the world? Recently I overheard a conversation among congregants at a church...one was commenting that she was overwhelmed by the scent of the perfume someone sitting near her had been wearing. The other exclaimed that by now you would think that the church would have made services "perfume-free". This brought to mind the quandry of Mr. Washington--should all public functions be designated odor-free? What would we do with those who've offended our sensibilities? Ask them to step out of the room? Prohibit them from participation until they'd freed themselves of the offending odor? And who is to say which odor offends and which does not? Are we to prohibit all odors? It is true that some people are actually allergic to certain scents; they suffer with all the ghastly symptoms that ragweed or cat dander can bring on in others. And it is also true that some people cannot resist dousing themselves with whatever eau de rancíd is within reach. However there must be some middle ground. We've been through segregation before and, particularly in the case of airborne particles, such as cigarrette smoke or perfume...there is no escape. The ideal invention would be something along the lines of 'white smell'--an invention parallel to white noise, that range of vibration which cancels the irritant sound by oscillating at the exact opposite wave length. Then the rhino-sensitive among us could carry small, solar-powered mechanisms designed to sense and then negate the offending scents assailing the unhappy owner. Until the time such a device is available, I'd suggest a pomander of something innocuous...lemon, orange, sandalwood...for the rhinally-challenged. Or moving--away from the offending scent ......................... Feets don't fail me now!
