The Worst Band in the World - Ever!
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
The Trouts formed in Chelmsford, England in the early 1990s. They had but one ambition - to be the worst.
To help them achieve their aim they devised a unique strategy. They arranged gigs without having one rehearsal, without writing one song, without even learning how to play their instruments. "Grunder", their mysterious svengali like manager, simply turned up at the Chelmsford YMCA on a gig night and hassled the support band into letting The Trouts support them.
One night someone was stupid enough to say yes, and The Trouts found themselves live on stage, simultaneously writing and performing their first song, "When I was a Boy, I was a Ladst". It was loud, it was nonsense, it was barely music. The Trouts knew when they were onto something good. From this point on, everything would be pretty much the same...but with a crap band.
The band went from weakness to weakness, dropping members who were too good, or who were simply too ashamed. Founder member Duzzy couldn't take the looks of pity from the audience any more. Meanwhile, the creative heart of the band, singer Mike and guitarist Si, thought they were the new Lennon and McCartney. In terms of song writing ability they were actually closer to Lenin and McCarthy (you know, John McCarthy, the hostage bloke? Not famous for his songs).
While the band were still fairly young they churned out tape after tape including 'The Trouts Get Worse' and the seminal album 'My Trousers Have No Status Here.' The same five or six songs featured on every tape, classics such as "Digging Up the Road for Jesus" and "Dragon Queen". Altogether now:
"Dragon Queen,
Know what I mean,
You've got no hair and your scales are green,
...Dragon Queen."
The band continued to play at the Chelmsford YMCA whenever they thought they could get away with it. They cultivated a tiny following, with catchphrases like "Stop talking, we're on" and "Any requests, other than stop it?" And then, on the day before Christmas Eve 1994, they split up acrimoniously on stage. The world didn't notice, but Chelmsford heaved a sigh of relief.
The band went their separate ways. Bongo player John moved to Edinburgh, because that was as far away as he could get. Drummer Matt joined several other bands, but could never recapture the magic of The Trouts. Triangle player Stuart lost his triangle, and backing singer Andy forgot all the words. The time was right for the big comeback...
><> Mike is currently compiling a greatest hits album: 'Gutted - The Best of The Trouts' ><>
To help them achieve their aim they devised a unique strategy. They arranged gigs without having one rehearsal, without writing one song, without even learning how to play their instruments. "Grunder", their mysterious svengali like manager, simply turned up at the Chelmsford YMCA on a gig night and hassled the support band into letting The Trouts support them.
One night someone was stupid enough to say yes, and The Trouts found themselves live on stage, simultaneously writing and performing their first song, "When I was a Boy, I was a Ladst". It was loud, it was nonsense, it was barely music. The Trouts knew when they were onto something good. From this point on, everything would be pretty much the same...but with a crap band.
The band went from weakness to weakness, dropping members who were too good, or who were simply too ashamed. Founder member Duzzy couldn't take the looks of pity from the audience any more. Meanwhile, the creative heart of the band, singer Mike and guitarist Si, thought they were the new Lennon and McCartney. In terms of song writing ability they were actually closer to Lenin and McCarthy (you know, John McCarthy, the hostage bloke? Not famous for his songs).
While the band were still fairly young they churned out tape after tape including 'The Trouts Get Worse' and the seminal album 'My Trousers Have No Status Here.' The same five or six songs featured on every tape, classics such as "Digging Up the Road for Jesus" and "Dragon Queen". Altogether now:
"Dragon Queen,
Know what I mean,
You've got no hair and your scales are green,
...Dragon Queen."
The band continued to play at the Chelmsford YMCA whenever they thought they could get away with it. They cultivated a tiny following, with catchphrases like "Stop talking, we're on" and "Any requests, other than stop it?" And then, on the day before Christmas Eve 1994, they split up acrimoniously on stage. The world didn't notice, but Chelmsford heaved a sigh of relief.
The band went their separate ways. Bongo player John moved to Edinburgh, because that was as far away as he could get. Drummer Matt joined several other bands, but could never recapture the magic of The Trouts. Triangle player Stuart lost his triangle, and backing singer Andy forgot all the words. The time was right for the big comeback...
><> Mike is currently compiling a greatest hits album: 'Gutted - The Best of The Trouts' ><>
