Freshman Orientation
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Freshman Orientation is one of the most ironic things on earth (for me, at least). It involves 8th grade students coming to the high school they will soon be going to to get a taste of what it is like. It may also apply to college, too, I dunno. Well, my experience with "Freshman Orientation" as a REAL freshman proves that that name is VERY ironic. I'm sure its not much different elsewhere.
My band was supposed to play a little concert-thing for Freshman Orientation, which we'd been preparing for for a week. I, however, did not know WHY we were preparing and what it was for, and did not bother to find out. The day of the concert arrives, and, with ten minutes left till showtime, Insane_Genius calls me and informs me that we go on stage in ten minutes. I gaggled. That was the LAST thing I expected him to say. He told me It's a big concert, and if I dont show up, I could fail band. I boggled. Then he hung up. All the little parts of my brain had been engaged in a nuclear war while he was talking, and, what was left after that, was hardly enough to get through the rest of the day without trouble. I threw on some clothes, got my trumpet, and rushed to the High School. Amazingly, I was able to show up on time. Of course, everything else was screwed up. I came wearing blue pants and a off-white non-tuxedo shirt. I was supposed to wear Black and a white tux shirt. Everybody was staring at me. The charred remains of my brain, upon noticing this, attempted to destroy themselves completely to end their misery. That didnt help. I put my trumpet down somewhere, and went off to be yelled at. When showtime came, I couldnt find my trumpet. I found it, and ran onstage, with the curtains still down. Then, I realised I had left my music in the green room. I went into the green room, and, after a long period of panicking, found that I had, in actuality, left my music at HOME. My brain blew itself up, leaving only a few molecules left. I ran back onto stage just before the curtain rose. I was able to use Hillary's music, tho. Of course, it didnt matter at all, because with only 3 molecules of brain left, I couldnt play trumpet for crap on a stick with cheez wiz. I lost my trumpet a few more times after that, too, and, after the final time, my brain completely deleted itself from existince, leaving me as a zombie, only stupider. I havent changed since.
The completely IRONIC part about this, as I realised, was that this event was called FRESHMAN ORIENTATION, While, me, the FRESHMAN, was COMPLETELY DISORIENTED through the whole thing, and have NEVER recovered. It RUINED my life (or my freshmen life, at least. Brain cells grow back during the summer after Fresh. year.)! This has probably happened to other freshmen, too, because Freshmen are just plain dumb. Freshmen will, of course, become smarter (hopefully), but for a period of 180 days, they become mindless idiots.
FINAL word of advice - AVOID freshman orientations. They are deadlier than a chainsaw to a can of cheez wiz.
My band was supposed to play a little concert-thing for Freshman Orientation, which we'd been preparing for for a week. I, however, did not know WHY we were preparing and what it was for, and did not bother to find out. The day of the concert arrives, and, with ten minutes left till showtime, Insane_Genius calls me and informs me that we go on stage in ten minutes. I gaggled. That was the LAST thing I expected him to say. He told me It's a big concert, and if I dont show up, I could fail band. I boggled. Then he hung up. All the little parts of my brain had been engaged in a nuclear war while he was talking, and, what was left after that, was hardly enough to get through the rest of the day without trouble. I threw on some clothes, got my trumpet, and rushed to the High School. Amazingly, I was able to show up on time. Of course, everything else was screwed up. I came wearing blue pants and a off-white non-tuxedo shirt. I was supposed to wear Black and a white tux shirt. Everybody was staring at me. The charred remains of my brain, upon noticing this, attempted to destroy themselves completely to end their misery. That didnt help. I put my trumpet down somewhere, and went off to be yelled at. When showtime came, I couldnt find my trumpet. I found it, and ran onstage, with the curtains still down. Then, I realised I had left my music in the green room. I went into the green room, and, after a long period of panicking, found that I had, in actuality, left my music at HOME. My brain blew itself up, leaving only a few molecules left. I ran back onto stage just before the curtain rose. I was able to use Hillary's music, tho. Of course, it didnt matter at all, because with only 3 molecules of brain left, I couldnt play trumpet for crap on a stick with cheez wiz. I lost my trumpet a few more times after that, too, and, after the final time, my brain completely deleted itself from existince, leaving me as a zombie, only stupider. I havent changed since.
The completely IRONIC part about this, as I realised, was that this event was called FRESHMAN ORIENTATION, While, me, the FRESHMAN, was COMPLETELY DISORIENTED through the whole thing, and have NEVER recovered. It RUINED my life (or my freshmen life, at least. Brain cells grow back during the summer after Fresh. year.)! This has probably happened to other freshmen, too, because Freshmen are just plain dumb. Freshmen will, of course, become smarter (hopefully), but for a period of 180 days, they become mindless idiots.
FINAL word of advice - AVOID freshman orientations. They are deadlier than a chainsaw to a can of cheez wiz.
