Alien Vs. Predator - The Film
Created | Updated Nov 21, 2007
For well over 15 years, this film has been the dream of rabid sci-fi fanboys everywhere. It all started with a throwaway scene in Predator's sadly mediocre and unimaginatively-named sequel, Predator 2. The scene in question? A shot of the Predator's trophy case aboard it's ship, amongst the array of trophy skulls was included the skull of an Alien. It was a gag, an in-joke for those making the film, and the genesis of one of the longest lasting sci-fi team ups of all time. In the late 80's, Dark Horse Comics took the idea and ran with it, turning it into an outstanding comic.
The idea itself is bursting with potential. Two of the coolest sci-fi movie monsters of all time; one the perfect hunter, the other the deadliest prey. The two seem custom made for each other. Since its inception, a film has been tossed around, several scripts have circulated the net, a trillion spin off comics and many video games have made the rounds. Sadly, the project somehow landed in the lap of possibly the worst director in Hollywood. Paul W.S. Anderson (hereafter referred to as "Weak Sauce"). Not familiar with the name? don't feel bad, Weak Sauce's filmography reads like a who's who of high potential films that turned out absolutely smeggy: Mortal Kombat, Event Horizon, Soldier, Resident Evil, and now, Alien vs. Predator.
How Weak Sauce continues to get work is a subject of much debate in the entertainment community. As a director he churns out critical bomb after critical bomb. His movies have never been high grossers, generally just breaking even. Not a particularly sterling track record, yet studios continue to hand him sweet projects and sit back while he turns them into banal crap. Rumour has it that Ridley Scott (Director of Alien) and James Cameron (Director of Aliens) approached Fox with the offer that they would make an Alien film together, Ridley directing, James writing, on the condition that they be allowed to do so before an Alien vs Predator film was made. Fox, in its infinite wisdom, turned them down in favor of Weak Sauce. And the mind boggles.
Don't misunderstand, it is actually possible to like some of Weak Sauce's movies in spite of your self. Mortal Kombat is cheesy and goofy, but enjoyable. Event Horizon is weird and creepy, has some nice effects and an interesting premise, it's just mired in poor dialogue, a poorly realized plot, and really bad techno music. Soldier... well, Soldier is a mess. Resident Evil... yeah, terrible. Okay, it's possible to like one of Weak Sauce's films in spite of yourself, but honestly, he's not made a film truly worth despising. Weak Sauce merely specializes in making films which completely fail to live up to their potential, and languish in mediocrity. Alien Vs Predator sadly, fails a little more spectacularly. Arguably, this is Weak Sauce's best film. It's certainly his prettiest film. It looks great for the most part, but it is devoid of fun, and that's a damn shame.
The story for this film (conceived and written by Weak Sauce himself) doomed this project from the start. The potential for AVP to be crammed full of "Holy smeg that's so fracking cool!" moments is lost from the get go. See, Weak Sauce decided to set this film in the present. No colonial marines, no awesome alien worlds, no incredibly awesome spaceships. He also decided to ignore almost all of the continuity from both franchises to suit his tastes. The life cycle of an Alien is sped up to ridiculous proportions in this film, an alien moving from face hugger to chest-burster to full grown adult in the span of about 20 minutes in movie time. The predators look like absolute crap, having now morphed into steroid enhanced football players. Enormous chests and shoulders, tapering to tiny wastes, they look like cartoons of their former selves. When we do eventually see a predator unmasked, the face has undergone some bizarre changes in design including horrible cartoon like mandibles that, in comparison to the previous films, just look amateurish.
Weak Sauce has taken another idea bursting with potential, and flushed it straight down the cinematic toilet. It's saddening to think that this film is almost certainly the final nail in the coffin of both franchises. One can only hope that the upcoming sequel (yes, a sequel, shocking) will make up for the many sins of AVP. The sequel looks promising and if it delivers on the trailer it may actually have a chance at re-igniting the franchise. It's called "Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem" but a more fitting subtitle would be "Atonement".
While AVP doesn't quite reach the depths of horrible that Alien: Resurrection plumbed, it is none the less a poor piece of film making which unfortunately managed to make its money back. The film cost 60 million to make, and they spent another 35 million in advertising. AVP earned 50.5 million dollars in it's opening week. Luckily for Weak Sauce, the overseas market and the home video market managed to pull the grosses up enough on this cinematic still-birth to break even. So you just know Weak Sauce will get to make another movie, and we all die a little inside.
The idea itself is bursting with potential. Two of the coolest sci-fi movie monsters of all time; one the perfect hunter, the other the deadliest prey. The two seem custom made for each other. Since its inception, a film has been tossed around, several scripts have circulated the net, a trillion spin off comics and many video games have made the rounds. Sadly, the project somehow landed in the lap of possibly the worst director in Hollywood. Paul W.S. Anderson (hereafter referred to as "Weak Sauce"). Not familiar with the name? don't feel bad, Weak Sauce's filmography reads like a who's who of high potential films that turned out absolutely smeggy: Mortal Kombat, Event Horizon, Soldier, Resident Evil, and now, Alien vs. Predator.
How Weak Sauce continues to get work is a subject of much debate in the entertainment community. As a director he churns out critical bomb after critical bomb. His movies have never been high grossers, generally just breaking even. Not a particularly sterling track record, yet studios continue to hand him sweet projects and sit back while he turns them into banal crap. Rumour has it that Ridley Scott (Director of Alien) and James Cameron (Director of Aliens) approached Fox with the offer that they would make an Alien film together, Ridley directing, James writing, on the condition that they be allowed to do so before an Alien vs Predator film was made. Fox, in its infinite wisdom, turned them down in favor of Weak Sauce. And the mind boggles.
Don't misunderstand, it is actually possible to like some of Weak Sauce's movies in spite of your self. Mortal Kombat is cheesy and goofy, but enjoyable. Event Horizon is weird and creepy, has some nice effects and an interesting premise, it's just mired in poor dialogue, a poorly realized plot, and really bad techno music. Soldier... well, Soldier is a mess. Resident Evil... yeah, terrible. Okay, it's possible to like one of Weak Sauce's films in spite of yourself, but honestly, he's not made a film truly worth despising. Weak Sauce merely specializes in making films which completely fail to live up to their potential, and languish in mediocrity. Alien Vs Predator sadly, fails a little more spectacularly. Arguably, this is Weak Sauce's best film. It's certainly his prettiest film. It looks great for the most part, but it is devoid of fun, and that's a damn shame.
The story for this film (conceived and written by Weak Sauce himself) doomed this project from the start. The potential for AVP to be crammed full of "Holy smeg that's so fracking cool!" moments is lost from the get go. See, Weak Sauce decided to set this film in the present. No colonial marines, no awesome alien worlds, no incredibly awesome spaceships. He also decided to ignore almost all of the continuity from both franchises to suit his tastes. The life cycle of an Alien is sped up to ridiculous proportions in this film, an alien moving from face hugger to chest-burster to full grown adult in the span of about 20 minutes in movie time. The predators look like absolute crap, having now morphed into steroid enhanced football players. Enormous chests and shoulders, tapering to tiny wastes, they look like cartoons of their former selves. When we do eventually see a predator unmasked, the face has undergone some bizarre changes in design including horrible cartoon like mandibles that, in comparison to the previous films, just look amateurish.
Weak Sauce has taken another idea bursting with potential, and flushed it straight down the cinematic toilet. It's saddening to think that this film is almost certainly the final nail in the coffin of both franchises. One can only hope that the upcoming sequel (yes, a sequel, shocking) will make up for the many sins of AVP. The sequel looks promising and if it delivers on the trailer it may actually have a chance at re-igniting the franchise. It's called "Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem" but a more fitting subtitle would be "Atonement".
While AVP doesn't quite reach the depths of horrible that Alien: Resurrection plumbed, it is none the less a poor piece of film making which unfortunately managed to make its money back. The film cost 60 million to make, and they spent another 35 million in advertising. AVP earned 50.5 million dollars in it's opening week. Luckily for Weak Sauce, the overseas market and the home video market managed to pull the grosses up enough on this cinematic still-birth to break even. So you just know Weak Sauce will get to make another movie, and we all die a little inside.
