What’s wrong with holidays?

It has been said that things will come to a “pretty pass” When I can find nothing to complain about. Holidays may have been perfected, but only in the realm of HHG. I never scrapped together enough money to comission a planet

1. Mosquitoes

I hate them. There I am, hiding from the midday heat indoors on my bed, reading a book. Then I hear the buzzing. I fling down my book. All right, where are you then? BzzzzZZZzzzZZZzzz… That’s it. I push myself off the bed and hunt vengefully for the fly swat. The clever bugger has landed on the ceiling. BzzzZZZzzzZZZ… Slapping my arm I look up. I want your blood. I disappeared into the bathroom for spray. None. Damn. I return nonchalantly and get back onto my bed, pretending to read again and hiding the fly swat. I hear it start buzzing again, closer, closer, closer… I swing the fly swat and drive the evil thing against the wall, laughing madly. I’ll get you, and your whole family! I’ll wipe you all out! Hah! It was dead. Later that night, BzzzZZZzzzZ...

2. Sharp Rocks/ Seaweed

There you have it, the perfect sea. You wade in and swim out for a little while, then along. Then, it happens. Your foot catches on a rock. Who put that there? Own up, come on. You wonder vaguely if the sharks are homing in on the smell of your blood. As you swim out further it gets deeper. Seaweed wraps itself around your ankles and tries to drown you. Why in hell do people eat this stuff anyway? It smells awful, looks awful, and feels awful. It must taste pretty good if people brave all that. A fish bubbles at you miserably as you swim back in. As you walk back on the shore sand grinds into your cut, seaweed still wrapped around your ankle trails. The sand is so hot it is burning the soles of your feet and you have to run. Wandering back into your room you hear the noise again. BzzzzzzZzzzzzZZzzzz…