It's a well-known fact that most of the people like disagreeing with each other. That's why discussion groups and committee meetings have been created (on the 8th day, when Eve decided to eat the apple). It's also a well-known fact that these committe-meetings are seen as being very boring things by most of the people. And it's an even better known fact that these meetings aren't productive because of the 2 well-known facts I mentioned above.

The best way to make a mess of it

1. Try to find some reason why you're not going to come ('I have to save the universe' will do nicely) and forget it: What's the point in warning that you won't be present?
2. If, after all, you've come to the meeting make it clear that you really don't enjoy it (The others won't either) and, of course, don't bother trying to come in time (a 15-minute delay is ideal...)
3. There are now some simple rules that you must observe to make sure communication remains impossible:
   
   • Thou shalt not listen to what the others say
     (Speaking with your neighbour about the weather will be helpful)
   • When you say something you have got the choice: say it very quietly so you can repeat it a few times or shout it out to make the others believe you're very upset about something.
     
     But, never, NEVER, say anything that really matters
   • If you're a committee-meeting-addict, you surely know how long some persons can talk about futilities; join this club (Only restriction: being able to argue during 3 hours about whether you're going to eat a Swissburger or a Cheeseburger)
   • Interrupt the speaker with pointless remarks (Do this as much as you can)
   • After the committee meeting it's time for you to say what you really think and to criticize everything that has (or has not) been decided during the meeting
4. It's better to be lazy than tired
5. If something has to be done, look at someone else (always the same person) with a look meaning 'Well, you could do the job, couldn't you?'
6. Again, criticize the work that has been done by your 'mates'
7. It's sometimes impossible to avoid these tasks... Do not panic! Take your time, a man has an average lifetime expectation of 60 years
8. Leaving before the end will enable you to get your 'after-committee-drink' first. You don't really need good reasons to do so, but if you want, here they are:
   
   • You're tired and you want to go home (Simply say: 'See you later')
   • Someone has just said something you don't agree with: leave immediately and angrily the room. Try to look very hurt.