The Power of Love and Farting---A Modern Fairy Tale.
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, there lived a girl anmed Tiamat. She was young, and in love with a boy named Tom. Their relationship at the time of this story was still in the "honeymoon phase"---where everything is new and beautiful; you impress them as much as you can with perfection and attentiveness. At any rate, Tiamat went to visit Tom at his home, and spent the afternoon in his company. They talked about the sort of things people in love talk about (e.i. how much is your insurance policy for, are there any fetishes that I should know about ahead of time before this relationship continues, etc.), and drank sodas.
After a time, Tiamat had to use the bathroom, but was hoping to hold out until she got home (she had a complex about using other people's bathrooms). Tom, who did not have that complex at all, and was known to "bomb" other people's toilets as if he were a WW1 pilot, decided to run off and relieve himself in his own bathroom, which was a stone's throw away from the bedroom. Tiamat waited patiently while sitting on Tom's bed with a glass of soda, contemplating how long she could hold out before her bladder burst. She tried to put this all into the back of her mind, and concentrate on her glass of soda, when all the sudden she realized that she could hear Tom tapping a kidney inthe bathroom. She laughed a bit, wondering what Tom would say if he found out that she was eavesdropping on him. Really, it wasn't eavesdropping if you can hear someone peeing from down the hall. At any rate, she kept listening, and eventually heard Tom fart while relieving himself.
Finding this just too funny to contain, Tiamat started laughing like a hyena. Eventually, she wet herself, and Tom's waterbed in the process. Panicking, since this was a relatively new relationship, she thought of all the ways that she could disguise this mess that she created, all the while laughing. She could strip down naked, and present herself to Tom---no, no, no! She wasn't that sort of girl. She could jump under the blankets and pretend to be sleepy. Snuggling is something that men like to do in the honeymoon phase...But no, the waterbed was heated, and we all know how wonderful Tiamat would have smelled once she dried off. Talk about Aux du Toilet! Remembering tha she was drinking soda, she picked up her glass, and doused herself with her drink, making sure she got the sheets well, too.
Tom walked in, and upon seeing the mess, asked what happened. As you probably can surmise, Tiamat explained that she was trying to get off the waterbed, lost her balance, and spilled her soda over her lap and his sheets....so sorry, terribly clumsy! She asked to borrow some clothing, offered to launder his sheets for him, and eventually lived happily ever after three years later when she dumped his dumb ass. I'm sure you have all hear of Peter Pan, yes? Well, that day, Tiamat earned the new name of Peter Pants.....(phonics, folks, phonics...Peed-her-pants).
The moral of the story, everyone? Make yourself a WW1 pilot and bomb the damn bathroom. Sure beats having to do someone else's sheets.
The End.
After a time, Tiamat had to use the bathroom, but was hoping to hold out until she got home (she had a complex about using other people's bathrooms). Tom, who did not have that complex at all, and was known to "bomb" other people's toilets as if he were a WW1 pilot, decided to run off and relieve himself in his own bathroom, which was a stone's throw away from the bedroom. Tiamat waited patiently while sitting on Tom's bed with a glass of soda, contemplating how long she could hold out before her bladder burst. She tried to put this all into the back of her mind, and concentrate on her glass of soda, when all the sudden she realized that she could hear Tom tapping a kidney inthe bathroom. She laughed a bit, wondering what Tom would say if he found out that she was eavesdropping on him. Really, it wasn't eavesdropping if you can hear someone peeing from down the hall. At any rate, she kept listening, and eventually heard Tom fart while relieving himself.
Finding this just too funny to contain, Tiamat started laughing like a hyena. Eventually, she wet herself, and Tom's waterbed in the process. Panicking, since this was a relatively new relationship, she thought of all the ways that she could disguise this mess that she created, all the while laughing. She could strip down naked, and present herself to Tom---no, no, no! She wasn't that sort of girl. She could jump under the blankets and pretend to be sleepy. Snuggling is something that men like to do in the honeymoon phase...But no, the waterbed was heated, and we all know how wonderful Tiamat would have smelled once she dried off. Talk about Aux du Toilet! Remembering tha she was drinking soda, she picked up her glass, and doused herself with her drink, making sure she got the sheets well, too.
Tom walked in, and upon seeing the mess, asked what happened. As you probably can surmise, Tiamat explained that she was trying to get off the waterbed, lost her balance, and spilled her soda over her lap and his sheets....so sorry, terribly clumsy! She asked to borrow some clothing, offered to launder his sheets for him, and eventually lived happily ever after three years later when she dumped his dumb ass. I'm sure you have all hear of Peter Pan, yes? Well, that day, Tiamat earned the new name of Peter Pants.....(phonics, folks, phonics...Peed-her-pants).
The moral of the story, everyone? Make yourself a WW1 pilot and bomb the damn bathroom. Sure beats having to do someone else's sheets.
The End.
