It's has occurred to me any amount of times just how stupid pigeons
are.  They even look stupid when they walk (that coordinated head bob and
feet shuffle.)  They don't fly except in short bursts (which must have made
carrier pigeon one of the slowest forms of transport.

And there are no baby ones ! They must be born full sized !

1: Walk with that coordinated head/feet action, keeping your arms by your
sides.

2: Stop and peck at anything on a pavement (fag ends, chewing gum, pieces of
soggy paper)

3: Eventually peck at a small piece of forgotten kebab, and then make such a
fuss it is stolen by a passing crow.

4: Have a crap.

5: Repeat stages 1 to 5, with a small interlude for cooing.

Pigeons are well know to use the Londow Underground, more about that here