The use of Tarot cards in Surreality Rules Blackjack
Created | Updated Jul 8, 2004
In order to bring a wider scope to a game of Surreality rules Blackjack, if you already are using 2 packs of cards, then add a third pack, but this third pack will be tarot cards.
If you use a pack from the game of tarot ( I have only ever seen these in France)you will have a normal pack of cards with normal suits plus an extra picture card, the knight and 22 Major Arcana cards which will probably be numbered and not named. I will list all the major arcana by number so you can mark your own pack accordingly.
If you are using normal tarot cards, you will have to decide which suits (cups, pentacles, swords and wands) correspond to normal card suits (Spades, Hearts, Diamonds, Clubs)
Also, to go with your tarot pack, you will need the coolest looking 10 sided dice (1d10 for those into RPG's) that you can find.This should be kept in a safe place of rest within easy reach of all the players. On the opposite side of the pickup pile to the discard pile is probably the most sensible and therefore the one place most bibble players would NOT pick but it doesn't matter, as long as everyone knows where it is.
THE KNIGHT:
A knight can only be laid in the normal way. It can not be laid on any card.
When you lay a knight you must say "NI!"
The next player must now produce for you a shrubbery.A shrubbery consists of three cards which can be any combination of 2's and 4's. Until they produce a shrubbery,for every turn they must say potted meat and pick up one card.
During this time, other players are of course allowed to give them cards, make them pick up lots of cards with blackjacks etc (as they cannot defend themselves and must pick up any necessary cards as well as their potted meat card) and of course to move them and make them cease to exist.
Once they have their shrubbery, they lay it down in their turn and say "Here is your Shrubbery."
They can then continue to play in the normal way.
If you have already procured a shrubbery before, if someone lays another knight on you, you can instead lay any King, should you have one and say "IT."
The King in this case will be acting as Arthur, King of the Britons and not Leeroy Snood but he is still a working card, even if he is black and not red.
If someone asks you for a second shrubbery before you have finished procuring the first, as long as you have a king when you get the shrubbery, you can lay both down at once saying "Here is your Shrubbery....IT!"
0: THE FOOL: This is possibly the most powerful card in the game as it combines a couple of hoopyfroods with a twist. When you lay the card you must keep one arm bent as if you were going to do a chicken impression. Then, keeping it bent, you must lift that arm up so that it is at right angles to your body. Then you wave that arm about slightly while saying in your best Norman Wisdom voice "Mr Grimsdale!! Mr Grimsdale!!"
You then get rid of all your cards except one. You can give the cards to anyone you like, even those who don't exist, or you can slip them into the pickup pile. Don't forget to say "Frogspawn" when you have finished of course.
1: THE MAGICIAN: When you lay this card you must say
"Oh Ho!! You'll like this, but not a lot." Having done this by a strange sleight of hand, for the rest of the game 9's will become 6's and 6's will become 9's. So a Black 9 will be a Happy Birthday, a red 9 will be a prisoner and any 6 will be a Jawohl mein fuhrer. Anyone who forgets this will of course be subject to the normal 5 card penalty.
2: THE HIGH PRIESTESS: When you lay this card you must say "When shall we three meet again?" You then pick the dice up from its place of rest and you roll it. The next player must pick up three times as many cards as are shown on the dice. On a 10 sided dice 0 means 10 by the way.
3:THE EMPRESS: This card is for the real gamblers among you. When you lay this card you say "Flash! I love you! But we only have fourteen hours to save the world!!".
You must then pick up the dice, and roll it fourteen times.Add the numbers rolled together.
If the total is 42 or less, you have saved the world, got the girl and everything you wanted. This means you win the game. No-one can sweetleaf you. You have won. End of story.
If however, your total is more than 42, you have failed. The Earth is destroyed, Dr Zarkhov is a programmed automaton, and Dale Arden is now Empress Minge of Mongo. None of this affects you however, because you are dead.TM
Your cards are laid face up on the table where anyone unscrupulous can simply take them.You can take no further active part in the game, although your ghost may point out everyone else's mistakes.You do still exist though. (See Death for more details but don't forget that as Earth is destroyed, any legal documentation you may have had is now worthless)
4: THE EMPEROR: When you lay this card you must say "Ave Caesar! Morituri te salutamus!"
It is not a working card.
5: THE HEIROPHANT: When you lay this card you must say "And the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock"
It is not a working card.
6: THE LOVERS: When you lay this card you must say "Meep Meep" and you then nominate one other player who is now your "lover".
The two of you are allowed to show each other your hands of cards and to discuss strategies amongst yourselves.
Of course your lover may decide to do the dirty on you but that's life.
7: THE CHARIOT: When you lay this card you say "Albedo 0.39" (I believe it is pronounced all-bee-doh).
This is a very good and holy card. You may immediately discard two unwanted cards by simply laying them on the play pile and saying "Too bad she won't live, but then again, who does?"
Your top card won't act as a working card but they must lay on it within the rules. They may not just lay any card on top.
Also for the next four minutes, you are immune to Jacks, 2's and 8's and can simply ignore them as if they were non working cards.
8: STRENGTH: As you lay this card you shout
"By the power of Grayskull.............I have the power!!!!"
All your cards will double in power for the rest of the game. Any 2 will make someone pick up 4 cards, any two eyed Blackjack will make them pick up 20 cards, any 8 will make them cease to exist for 2 goes and any knight will require 2 shrubberies.
9: THE HERMIT: When you lay this card you must say "I say, those are my juniper bushes"
You must then not speak for the rest of the game.
This is a mixed blessing. Although you may not converse with anyone, you don't have to say anything when you lay cards which makes life easier. Also, people may not be aware when you only have one card left.
10:THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE: When you lay this card you must say "Mmmmm Carol Smillie." You then take five cards from your hand and put them on the bottom of the pick up pile. You then take five cards off the top of the pickup pile into your hand.
11:JUSTICE: At the beginning of the game, everyone started off fairly with seven cards. The Justice card makes this happen again. When you lay it you say "Objection your honour!" and anyone who has more than seven cards must decide which seven they want to keep and then all the surplus cards are shuffled into the pickup pile. Anyone who has less than seven cards must, starting clockwise from the player who laid the card, pick up cards from the pickup pile until they have seven cards while saying "objection sustained"
12: THE HANGED MAN: When you lay this card you must say "Mi liberate per favore." Then for the rest of the game you do not have to lay a card if you don't want to. You may instead choose to say "potted meat" and pick up one card. This way you can keep good cards until later or not lay cards that will mess you up.
13:DEATH: When you lay this card you must say in the most hollow tones you can "The salmon mousse!". Now as any tarot reader will tell you Death does not actually mean death but is like a cleansing new beginning type thing so it simply acts exactly like a hoopyfrood. UNLESS SOMEONE HAS BEEN STIRRING UP EVIL. If the play is going in the Devil's direction, or widdershins, or anti-clockwise to the uninitiated, then Death does indeed mean death. The next player in turn will die. They will turn their cards face up on the table and will be dead until the end of the game. Although they are dead, and can take no active part in the game, they do still exist so you can still talk to them or even about them should you so wish. Although talking to the dead is perfectly acceptable these days, particularly if you are a middle aged woman, it is still taboo to speak ill of the dead. Anyone caught doing so must say "Veeblefetzer" and pick up 5 cards
Also if you play a Trevor Austin and must pass cards to the dead man's direction, those cards go face up on the table with the rest of his hand.If you play a Happy Birthday, You do include dead people in the hand swopping.
What happens to the cards in his hand is what usually happens if the dead are just left unattended. His upturned cards are simply left to the mercy of any player unscrupulous to simply take them.
UNLESS they had the foresight to leave a will.
If a player has left a will in an envelope which is marked "Last Will and Testament" and the will starts "I {name}, being of unsound enough mind to play Surreality rules Blackjack, in the event of my untimely death bequeath that my cards...." and the will is signed by having the imprint of the author's thumb in black ink, the will is considered to be valid and the dealer of that hand becomes executor and must make sure the cards are dealt with properly. For example, you could bequeath the cards to the executor, the person that killed you or distribute them evenly. It is unwise to have them buried or cremated but if you do insist on something being done with your cards, you must ensure that the means to carry it out are available or your will becomes null and void.
If a player attempts to play an illegal will it will not count and their cards will be left to the mercy of others. Also,in the next game, as soon as they have been dealt their cards, they must say "I am paying for the sins of my forefathers" and pick up ten extra cards. They do not have to say "Veeblefetzer" on this occasion
14: TEMPERANCE: When you lay this card you must say "Give Quiche a chance." Then you collect everybody's cards, shuffle them all together and deal them out equally.
15: THE DEVIL: When you lay this card you must say "I've got a bad feeling about this." You then play solo for 5 turns.This means that to all intents and purposes you are the only player.
This can be good and bad.You can get rid of a few cards if you are lucky and you can put down a black 6 and keep your cards, but if you have to lay a blackjack, you have to pick 10 cards up.
16:THE TOWER: When you lay this card you must say "slurp uuuurgh should have a good time". The next player must then take the next 15 cards off the pickup pile and must then make a tower with them. That is 3 closely placed upturned V's with two cards flat across the top, 2 upturned V's with one card flat across the top on top of those and one upturned V on top of those. You will then have a pointy roughly pyramid shaped tower.
If you fail, you must keep all 15 cards which everyone else will now have seen. If any player should try to make the tower fall or distract the builder in any way, they must keep the 15 cards plus a further 5 card penalty.
If you succeed, you can pick any 5 cards from your hand and along with the 15 from the tower, shuffle all 20 cards back into the pickup pile.
17: THE STAR: When you lay this card you must say "Tits gossip and more tits." It has no useful function whatsoever. It is a non working card.
18: THE MOON: When you lay this card you must say "ARSE!".
All the other players may now give you any two cards of their choice.
19: THE SUN: Just like the star, when you lay this card you must say "Tits gossip and more tits." This card has no useful function whatsoever. It is a non-working card.
20:JUDGEMENT: When you lay this card you must pick two other players who are the judged. When you point to your first player you say "He/she judged.........poorly" and they must then discard all their blackjacks and jokers onto the face up pile. They must then, saying "Veeblefetzer" pick up 10 cards plus twice as many cards as they discarded. Then you point to your second player and say "He/she judged......wisely" They may then discard up to 5 cards they do not want onto the face up pile. They don't have to discard all 5 if they don't want to. As per usual, as these are discarded and not laid cards, they have no effect on the game but the next player in turn must lay on the card within the rules and not simply lay any card on top.
21:THE WORLD: When you play this card you say "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit The Earth." Then all the players who exist and are still alive pick up the dice and roll it once in turn.If two or more players get the lowest number then those players roll again until there is just one with the lowest number. The player with the lowest number is the meek and collects up everybody else's cards, even from those who are dead, but not from those who don't exist, that would be silly. All the players (except any deceased obviously)in a clockwise direction from the meekest then pick two up two cards while saying "Amen."
BANKRUPTCY: Should a player be made to pick up more cards than are available or even more cards than are being played with, they are bankrupt. This means that they forfeit the current game and simply shuffle all their cards into the pickup pile. They take no further part in this game. Then for the next 3 games they play, regardless of whether it is in the same sitting or not, they will start with 50 cards instead of 7. This is not necessarily the drawback it first appears.
TM The trademark logo appears here to mark the fact that the line immediately preceding it was taken straight from text written by Douglas Adams for "The Hitchiker's guide to the Galaxy" computer game and was included here as a tribute to the great man himself.
If you use a pack from the game of tarot ( I have only ever seen these in France)you will have a normal pack of cards with normal suits plus an extra picture card, the knight and 22 Major Arcana cards which will probably be numbered and not named. I will list all the major arcana by number so you can mark your own pack accordingly.
If you are using normal tarot cards, you will have to decide which suits (cups, pentacles, swords and wands) correspond to normal card suits (Spades, Hearts, Diamonds, Clubs)
Also, to go with your tarot pack, you will need the coolest looking 10 sided dice (1d10 for those into RPG's) that you can find.This should be kept in a safe place of rest within easy reach of all the players. On the opposite side of the pickup pile to the discard pile is probably the most sensible and therefore the one place most bibble players would NOT pick but it doesn't matter, as long as everyone knows where it is.
THE KNIGHT:
A knight can only be laid in the normal way. It can not be laid on any card.
When you lay a knight you must say "NI!"
The next player must now produce for you a shrubbery.A shrubbery consists of three cards which can be any combination of 2's and 4's. Until they produce a shrubbery,for every turn they must say potted meat and pick up one card.
During this time, other players are of course allowed to give them cards, make them pick up lots of cards with blackjacks etc (as they cannot defend themselves and must pick up any necessary cards as well as their potted meat card) and of course to move them and make them cease to exist.
Once they have their shrubbery, they lay it down in their turn and say "Here is your Shrubbery."
They can then continue to play in the normal way.
If you have already procured a shrubbery before, if someone lays another knight on you, you can instead lay any King, should you have one and say "IT."
The King in this case will be acting as Arthur, King of the Britons and not Leeroy Snood but he is still a working card, even if he is black and not red.
If someone asks you for a second shrubbery before you have finished procuring the first, as long as you have a king when you get the shrubbery, you can lay both down at once saying "Here is your Shrubbery....IT!"
0: THE FOOL: This is possibly the most powerful card in the game as it combines a couple of hoopyfroods with a twist. When you lay the card you must keep one arm bent as if you were going to do a chicken impression. Then, keeping it bent, you must lift that arm up so that it is at right angles to your body. Then you wave that arm about slightly while saying in your best Norman Wisdom voice "Mr Grimsdale!! Mr Grimsdale!!"
You then get rid of all your cards except one. You can give the cards to anyone you like, even those who don't exist, or you can slip them into the pickup pile. Don't forget to say "Frogspawn" when you have finished of course.
1: THE MAGICIAN: When you lay this card you must say
"Oh Ho!! You'll like this, but not a lot." Having done this by a strange sleight of hand, for the rest of the game 9's will become 6's and 6's will become 9's. So a Black 9 will be a Happy Birthday, a red 9 will be a prisoner and any 6 will be a Jawohl mein fuhrer. Anyone who forgets this will of course be subject to the normal 5 card penalty.
2: THE HIGH PRIESTESS: When you lay this card you must say "When shall we three meet again?" You then pick the dice up from its place of rest and you roll it. The next player must pick up three times as many cards as are shown on the dice. On a 10 sided dice 0 means 10 by the way.
3:THE EMPRESS: This card is for the real gamblers among you. When you lay this card you say "Flash! I love you! But we only have fourteen hours to save the world!!".
You must then pick up the dice, and roll it fourteen times.Add the numbers rolled together.
If the total is 42 or less, you have saved the world, got the girl and everything you wanted. This means you win the game. No-one can sweetleaf you. You have won. End of story.
If however, your total is more than 42, you have failed. The Earth is destroyed, Dr Zarkhov is a programmed automaton, and Dale Arden is now Empress Minge of Mongo. None of this affects you however, because you are dead.TM
Your cards are laid face up on the table where anyone unscrupulous can simply take them.You can take no further active part in the game, although your ghost may point out everyone else's mistakes.You do still exist though. (See Death for more details but don't forget that as Earth is destroyed, any legal documentation you may have had is now worthless)
4: THE EMPEROR: When you lay this card you must say "Ave Caesar! Morituri te salutamus!"
It is not a working card.
5: THE HEIROPHANT: When you lay this card you must say "And the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock"
It is not a working card.
6: THE LOVERS: When you lay this card you must say "Meep Meep" and you then nominate one other player who is now your "lover".
The two of you are allowed to show each other your hands of cards and to discuss strategies amongst yourselves.
Of course your lover may decide to do the dirty on you but that's life.
7: THE CHARIOT: When you lay this card you say "Albedo 0.39" (I believe it is pronounced all-bee-doh).
This is a very good and holy card. You may immediately discard two unwanted cards by simply laying them on the play pile and saying "Too bad she won't live, but then again, who does?"
Your top card won't act as a working card but they must lay on it within the rules. They may not just lay any card on top.
Also for the next four minutes, you are immune to Jacks, 2's and 8's and can simply ignore them as if they were non working cards.
8: STRENGTH: As you lay this card you shout
"By the power of Grayskull.............I have the power!!!!"
All your cards will double in power for the rest of the game. Any 2 will make someone pick up 4 cards, any two eyed Blackjack will make them pick up 20 cards, any 8 will make them cease to exist for 2 goes and any knight will require 2 shrubberies.
9: THE HERMIT: When you lay this card you must say "I say, those are my juniper bushes"
You must then not speak for the rest of the game.
This is a mixed blessing. Although you may not converse with anyone, you don't have to say anything when you lay cards which makes life easier. Also, people may not be aware when you only have one card left.
10:THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE: When you lay this card you must say "Mmmmm Carol Smillie." You then take five cards from your hand and put them on the bottom of the pick up pile. You then take five cards off the top of the pickup pile into your hand.
11:JUSTICE: At the beginning of the game, everyone started off fairly with seven cards. The Justice card makes this happen again. When you lay it you say "Objection your honour!" and anyone who has more than seven cards must decide which seven they want to keep and then all the surplus cards are shuffled into the pickup pile. Anyone who has less than seven cards must, starting clockwise from the player who laid the card, pick up cards from the pickup pile until they have seven cards while saying "objection sustained"
12: THE HANGED MAN: When you lay this card you must say "Mi liberate per favore." Then for the rest of the game you do not have to lay a card if you don't want to. You may instead choose to say "potted meat" and pick up one card. This way you can keep good cards until later or not lay cards that will mess you up.
13:DEATH: When you lay this card you must say in the most hollow tones you can "The salmon mousse!". Now as any tarot reader will tell you Death does not actually mean death but is like a cleansing new beginning type thing so it simply acts exactly like a hoopyfrood. UNLESS SOMEONE HAS BEEN STIRRING UP EVIL. If the play is going in the Devil's direction, or widdershins, or anti-clockwise to the uninitiated, then Death does indeed mean death. The next player in turn will die. They will turn their cards face up on the table and will be dead until the end of the game. Although they are dead, and can take no active part in the game, they do still exist so you can still talk to them or even about them should you so wish. Although talking to the dead is perfectly acceptable these days, particularly if you are a middle aged woman, it is still taboo to speak ill of the dead. Anyone caught doing so must say "Veeblefetzer" and pick up 5 cards
Also if you play a Trevor Austin and must pass cards to the dead man's direction, those cards go face up on the table with the rest of his hand.If you play a Happy Birthday, You do include dead people in the hand swopping.
What happens to the cards in his hand is what usually happens if the dead are just left unattended. His upturned cards are simply left to the mercy of any player unscrupulous to simply take them.
UNLESS they had the foresight to leave a will.
If a player has left a will in an envelope which is marked "Last Will and Testament" and the will starts "I {name}, being of unsound enough mind to play Surreality rules Blackjack, in the event of my untimely death bequeath that my cards...." and the will is signed by having the imprint of the author's thumb in black ink, the will is considered to be valid and the dealer of that hand becomes executor and must make sure the cards are dealt with properly. For example, you could bequeath the cards to the executor, the person that killed you or distribute them evenly. It is unwise to have them buried or cremated but if you do insist on something being done with your cards, you must ensure that the means to carry it out are available or your will becomes null and void.
If a player attempts to play an illegal will it will not count and their cards will be left to the mercy of others. Also,in the next game, as soon as they have been dealt their cards, they must say "I am paying for the sins of my forefathers" and pick up ten extra cards. They do not have to say "Veeblefetzer" on this occasion
14: TEMPERANCE: When you lay this card you must say "Give Quiche a chance." Then you collect everybody's cards, shuffle them all together and deal them out equally.
15: THE DEVIL: When you lay this card you must say "I've got a bad feeling about this." You then play solo for 5 turns.This means that to all intents and purposes you are the only player.
This can be good and bad.You can get rid of a few cards if you are lucky and you can put down a black 6 and keep your cards, but if you have to lay a blackjack, you have to pick 10 cards up.
16:THE TOWER: When you lay this card you must say "slurp uuuurgh should have a good time". The next player must then take the next 15 cards off the pickup pile and must then make a tower with them. That is 3 closely placed upturned V's with two cards flat across the top, 2 upturned V's with one card flat across the top on top of those and one upturned V on top of those. You will then have a pointy roughly pyramid shaped tower.
If you fail, you must keep all 15 cards which everyone else will now have seen. If any player should try to make the tower fall or distract the builder in any way, they must keep the 15 cards plus a further 5 card penalty.
If you succeed, you can pick any 5 cards from your hand and along with the 15 from the tower, shuffle all 20 cards back into the pickup pile.
17: THE STAR: When you lay this card you must say "Tits gossip and more tits." It has no useful function whatsoever. It is a non working card.
18: THE MOON: When you lay this card you must say "ARSE!".
All the other players may now give you any two cards of their choice.
19: THE SUN: Just like the star, when you lay this card you must say "Tits gossip and more tits." This card has no useful function whatsoever. It is a non-working card.
20:JUDGEMENT: When you lay this card you must pick two other players who are the judged. When you point to your first player you say "He/she judged.........poorly" and they must then discard all their blackjacks and jokers onto the face up pile. They must then, saying "Veeblefetzer" pick up 10 cards plus twice as many cards as they discarded. Then you point to your second player and say "He/she judged......wisely" They may then discard up to 5 cards they do not want onto the face up pile. They don't have to discard all 5 if they don't want to. As per usual, as these are discarded and not laid cards, they have no effect on the game but the next player in turn must lay on the card within the rules and not simply lay any card on top.
21:THE WORLD: When you play this card you say "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit The Earth." Then all the players who exist and are still alive pick up the dice and roll it once in turn.If two or more players get the lowest number then those players roll again until there is just one with the lowest number. The player with the lowest number is the meek and collects up everybody else's cards, even from those who are dead, but not from those who don't exist, that would be silly. All the players (except any deceased obviously)in a clockwise direction from the meekest then pick two up two cards while saying "Amen."
BANKRUPTCY: Should a player be made to pick up more cards than are available or even more cards than are being played with, they are bankrupt. This means that they forfeit the current game and simply shuffle all their cards into the pickup pile. They take no further part in this game. Then for the next 3 games they play, regardless of whether it is in the same sitting or not, they will start with 50 cards instead of 7. This is not necessarily the drawback it first appears.
TM The trademark logo appears here to mark the fact that the line immediately preceding it was taken straight from text written by Douglas Adams for "The Hitchiker's guide to the Galaxy" computer game and was included here as a tribute to the great man himself.
