BTVS QUOTES - GILES
Created | Updated Jun 26, 2004
SEASON 1
(WITCH - Giles getting excited about the hellmouth)
"But that's the thrill of living on the Hellmouth! There's a veritable cornucopia of, of fiends and devils and, and ghouls to engage. Pardon me for finding the glass half full."
(NEVER KILL A BOY ON THE FIRST DATE - Giles when Buffy wants to go on a date)
"Giles: "Alright, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show."
Buffy: "Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm."
(NEVER KILL A BOY ON THE FIRST DATE - Giles hiding in the morgue)
Giles: "Uh, two more of the brethren came in here. They came after me. But I was more than a match for them."
Buffy: "Meaning?"
Giles: "I hid."
(NEVER KILL A BOY ON THE FIRST DATE)
"Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time."
(OUT OF MIND OUT OF SIGHT - Giles to Angel)
"A vampire in love with a Slayer! It's rather poetic! In a maudlin sort of way."
SEASON 2
(WHEN SHE WAS BAD - Giles to Principle Snyder)
"Have you ever considered, given your appalerence for children, a school principle is perhaps not your true vocation?"
(WHEN SHE WAS BAD - Giles to Willow when she spelt out the word B.I.T.C.H)
"Willow, i think were all a little too old to be spelling things out"
(THE DARK AGE - Giles to Buffy when she was working out to her music)
"Wonderful! You work on your muscle tone, while my brain dribbles out of my ears"
(BECOMING PART 2 - Giles when Angelus was torturing him for information about the ritual)
"In order to be worthy....you must perform the ritual......in a Tutu, you pillock!"
SEASON 3
(DEAD MANS PARTY)
"Unbelievable. 'Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead!'... Americans?"
(BAND CANDY - Giles about the babie)
"She said she never saw who took em, Dosey cow!"
(BAND CANDY - Giles to Snyder)
"You filthy little ponce, are you afraid of a little demon?"
(ENEMIES)
"Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore"
(ENEMIES)
"Again, see. No standards. Any self respecting demon should be living in a pit of filth or nice crypt"
SEASON 4
(PANGS)
"Yes, always behind on terms. I'm still trying not to refer to you lot as 'bloody colonials'."
(SOMETHING BLUE - Giles about Spike and Buffy)
"If those two don't kill each other, I might lend a hand"
(SOMETHING BLUE - Giles when he hears Spike and Buffy kissing)
"Stop that right now! I can hear the smacking"
(SOMETHING BLUE - Giles when he's going blind and all he can hear in Buffy and Spike smooching and talking about getting married)
"It alright (trips over the table) I have more scotch"
(A NEW MAN)
"You know what gets me? This is what gets me. Twenty years I've been fighting demons. Maggie Walsh and her nancy ninja boys come in; six months later, demons are pissing themselves with fear. They never even noticed me."
(A NEW MAN)
"What am I? I'm an unemployed librarian with a tendency to get knocked on the head."
(GOODBYE IOWA - Giles about staying in Xanders basement)
"Absolutley NOT! I will not squat in that dank hole!"
(SUPERSTAR - Giles to Xander when he sets a book on fire)
"Xander, don't speak Latin in front of the books."
(THE YOKO FACTOR - A drunk Giles to Buffy about figting Adam)
"You don't train with me anymore, he's going to kick your ass!...Sorry was that a bit too honest?"
(PRIMEVIL - Giles to Xander just before they go in to fight Adam)
"Xander just because this is never gonna work, theres no need to be negative"
(RESTLESS - Giles singing in his dream)
"And try not to bleed on my couch Ive just had it steam-cleaned"
SEASON 5
(THE REAL ME - Giles thinking about leasing the magic shop)
"I bet the death rate keeps the rent down"
(NO PLACE LIKE HOME - Giles getting really excited about his first customers)
"Did you see that? Customers, real live customers, they came in and I gave them things and they gave me money and then they left, It's brilliant"
(FAMILY - Giles to Buffy and Xander about tara's birthday)
"You're in a magic shop and you cant think what Tara would like, I believe you are both profoundly stupid!"
(I WAS MADE TO LOVE YOU - Giles about his time babysitting Dawn)
"We listened to aggressivly cheerful music sang by people chosen for their ability to dance then we ate cookie dough and talked about boys!"
(I WAS MADE TO LOVE YOU - Giles about robot research books)
"Oh yes, dozens, an enormous amount of research we should do before (Xander looks worried) No I'm lying, I've got sqat, i just like to see Xander sqirm"
SEASON 6
(FLOODED - Giles after the mmm Fasnick demon knocked him out)
"Well I know I'm back in America now I've been knocked unconsious!"
SEASON 7
(SLEEPER - Giles when he turns up on Buffys doorstep with some potential slayers)
"Sorry to barge in, Im afraid we have a slight.....apocolipse!"
(THE KILLER IN ME - Giles to the gang when they think he's the first)
"Now wait a minute, you think I'm evil if I bring a group of girls on a camping trip and...dont touch them?"
(CHOSEN - Giles after hearing the plan)
"I'll go and dig up my sourses...quite literally actually, the only two people O have to speak to are dead"
(CHOSEN - Giles playing a board game)
"Could this possibly get any uglier, I use3d to be a highly respected watcher now I'm a wounded dwarf with the mystical strength of a doyley"
(CHOSEN - Giles before they go into battle)
"Are we gonna discuss this?...Save the world, go to the mall?"
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(WITCH - Giles getting excited about the hellmouth)
"But that's the thrill of living on the Hellmouth! There's a veritable cornucopia of, of fiends and devils and, and ghouls to engage. Pardon me for finding the glass half full."
(NEVER KILL A BOY ON THE FIRST DATE - Giles when Buffy wants to go on a date)
"Giles: "Alright, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show."
Buffy: "Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm."
(NEVER KILL A BOY ON THE FIRST DATE - Giles hiding in the morgue)
Giles: "Uh, two more of the brethren came in here. They came after me. But I was more than a match for them."
Buffy: "Meaning?"
Giles: "I hid."
(NEVER KILL A BOY ON THE FIRST DATE)
"Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time."
(OUT OF MIND OUT OF SIGHT - Giles to Angel)
"A vampire in love with a Slayer! It's rather poetic! In a maudlin sort of way."
SEASON 2
(WHEN SHE WAS BAD - Giles to Principle Snyder)
"Have you ever considered, given your appalerence for children, a school principle is perhaps not your true vocation?"
(WHEN SHE WAS BAD - Giles to Willow when she spelt out the word B.I.T.C.H)
"Willow, i think were all a little too old to be spelling things out"
(THE DARK AGE - Giles to Buffy when she was working out to her music)
"Wonderful! You work on your muscle tone, while my brain dribbles out of my ears"
(BECOMING PART 2 - Giles when Angelus was torturing him for information about the ritual)
"In order to be worthy....you must perform the ritual......in a Tutu, you pillock!"
SEASON 3
(DEAD MANS PARTY)
"Unbelievable. 'Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead!'... Americans?"
(BAND CANDY - Giles about the babie)
"She said she never saw who took em, Dosey cow!"
(BAND CANDY - Giles to Snyder)
"You filthy little ponce, are you afraid of a little demon?"
(ENEMIES)
"Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore"
(ENEMIES)
"Again, see. No standards. Any self respecting demon should be living in a pit of filth or nice crypt"
SEASON 4
(PANGS)
"Yes, always behind on terms. I'm still trying not to refer to you lot as 'bloody colonials'."
(SOMETHING BLUE - Giles about Spike and Buffy)
"If those two don't kill each other, I might lend a hand"
(SOMETHING BLUE - Giles when he hears Spike and Buffy kissing)
"Stop that right now! I can hear the smacking"
(SOMETHING BLUE - Giles when he's going blind and all he can hear in Buffy and Spike smooching and talking about getting married)
"It alright (trips over the table) I have more scotch"
(A NEW MAN)
"You know what gets me? This is what gets me. Twenty years I've been fighting demons. Maggie Walsh and her nancy ninja boys come in; six months later, demons are pissing themselves with fear. They never even noticed me."
(A NEW MAN)
"What am I? I'm an unemployed librarian with a tendency to get knocked on the head."
(GOODBYE IOWA - Giles about staying in Xanders basement)
"Absolutley NOT! I will not squat in that dank hole!"
(SUPERSTAR - Giles to Xander when he sets a book on fire)
"Xander, don't speak Latin in front of the books."
(THE YOKO FACTOR - A drunk Giles to Buffy about figting Adam)
"You don't train with me anymore, he's going to kick your ass!...Sorry was that a bit too honest?"
(PRIMEVIL - Giles to Xander just before they go in to fight Adam)
"Xander just because this is never gonna work, theres no need to be negative"
(RESTLESS - Giles singing in his dream)
"And try not to bleed on my couch Ive just had it steam-cleaned"
SEASON 5
(THE REAL ME - Giles thinking about leasing the magic shop)
"I bet the death rate keeps the rent down"
(NO PLACE LIKE HOME - Giles getting really excited about his first customers)
"Did you see that? Customers, real live customers, they came in and I gave them things and they gave me money and then they left, It's brilliant"
(FAMILY - Giles to Buffy and Xander about tara's birthday)
"You're in a magic shop and you cant think what Tara would like, I believe you are both profoundly stupid!"
(I WAS MADE TO LOVE YOU - Giles about his time babysitting Dawn)
"We listened to aggressivly cheerful music sang by people chosen for their ability to dance then we ate cookie dough and talked about boys!"
(I WAS MADE TO LOVE YOU - Giles about robot research books)
"Oh yes, dozens, an enormous amount of research we should do before (Xander looks worried) No I'm lying, I've got sqat, i just like to see Xander sqirm"
SEASON 6
(FLOODED - Giles after the mmm Fasnick demon knocked him out)
"Well I know I'm back in America now I've been knocked unconsious!"
SEASON 7
(SLEEPER - Giles when he turns up on Buffys doorstep with some potential slayers)
"Sorry to barge in, Im afraid we have a slight.....apocolipse!"
(THE KILLER IN ME - Giles to the gang when they think he's the first)
"Now wait a minute, you think I'm evil if I bring a group of girls on a camping trip and...dont touch them?"
(CHOSEN - Giles after hearing the plan)
"I'll go and dig up my sourses...quite literally actually, the only two people O have to speak to are dead"
(CHOSEN - Giles playing a board game)
"Could this possibly get any uglier, I use3d to be a highly respected watcher now I'm a wounded dwarf with the mystical strength of a doyley"
(CHOSEN - Giles before they go into battle)
"Are we gonna discuss this?...Save the world, go to the mall?"
CLICK HERE A2742941 TO GO BACK TO QUOTES MAIN PAGE
