BTVS QUOTES - WILLOW
Created | Updated Jun 26, 2004
SEASON 1
(WELCOME TO THE HELLMOUTH - Willow to Buffy about dating)
"When I'm with a boy I like it's hard for me to say anything cool or witty or anything at all. I can usually make a few vowel sounds and then I have to go away"
(THE WITCH - Willow about helping Buffy)
"Yeah! You're the Slayer, and we're, like, the Slayerettes!"
(THE PACK - Willow trying to get Xander to study)
"You remember, you fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, 'Hey, kids, where's the cool parties this weekend?' We've been through this. "
(THE PACK - about Xander when he was possessed by a hyena)
"Why couldn't Xander be possessed by a puppy or some ducks"
(THE PACK - Willow when Buffy suggests she tells Xander how she feels about him)
"No! no speaking up, that way leads to madness and sweaty palms"
(ANGEL - Willow to Buffy about Angel)
"It is kind of novel how he'll stay handsom and young forever, although, you'll still get wrinkly and die....Oh and what about the children?.....I'll be quiet now!"
(NIGHTMARES)
"I don't like spiders, okay? Their furry bodies, and their sticky webs, and what do they need all those legs for anyway? I'll tell you: for crawling across your face in the middle of the night. Ewww! How do they not ruffle you?"
SEASON 2
(SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED)
"This shouldn't take long. I'm probably the only girl in school who has the coroner's office bookmarked as a favorite place"
(REPTILE BOY - Willow to Angel about not having a mirror)
"Oh! Sorry. The reflection thing that you don't have. Angel, how do you shave?"
(HALLOWEEN - Willow to Buffy about her costume)
"Oh, I don't get wild. Wild on me equals spaz."
(HALLOWEEN - Willow about Buffy turning into a defenceless 18th century girl)
"She couldn't've dressed up like Xena?"
(INNOCENCE - Willow when she caught Xander and Cordelia kissing)
"I knew it! I knew it! Well, not 'knew it' in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know. You two were fighting way too much. It's not natural!"
(PHASES - Willow angry with Xander for dating Cordelia)
Great. I'll give Xander a call. What's his number? Oh, yeah, 1- 800-I'm-Dating-A-Skanky-Ho.
(PHASES - Willow to Oz after she found out he was a warewolf)
"Well, I like you. You're nice and you're funny. And you don't smoke. Yeah, okay, werewolf, but that's not all the time. I mean, three days out of the month I'm not much fun to be around either."
(BECOMING PART 1 - Willow about Acathla)
"Okay, somebody explain the whole 'he will suck the world into Hell' thing, because that's the part I'm not loving"
(BECOMING PART 1 - Willow when Buffy says she's there last chance)
"Willow: I don't *wanna* be our only hope! Uh, I crumble under pressure! Let's have another hope"
SEASON 3
(ANNE - Willow to Giles)
"Well, we try not to get killed. That's part of our whole mission statement. 'Don't get killed'."
(BAND CANDY)
"'Kiss rocks'? Why would anyone want to kiss... Oh, wait. I get it."
(REVELATIONS - Willow about Angel)
"Well, he saved me from a horrible flamey death. That sort of makes me like him again"
(GINGERBREAD - Willow to her mum)
Sheila: "Willow, you cut off your hair. That's a new look."
Willow: "Yeah, it's just a sudden whim I had......in August!"
(GINGERBREAD)
"Mom, I'm not an age group. I'm me. Willow group"
(BAD GIRLS)
"Give me time, and I may be the first Wiccan to do all my conjuring in pine-fresh scent"
(DOPPELGANGLAND - Willow to Buffy after being called old reliable)
"Buffy I'm storming off, it doesn't really work if you come with me"
(DOPPELGANGLAND - Willow when the guys were acting a bit strange caus they thought she was dead)
"It's really nice that you all missed me...Say, you didn't happen to do a binch of drugs did ya?
(DOPPELGANGLAND - Vamp Willow to normal Willow about her fluffy jumper)
"Well look at me, Im all fuzzy"
(DOPPELGANGLAND - Willow about her vampire double)
"It's horrible, thats me as a vampire, I'm so evil and...skanky...and I think I'm kinda gay"
SEASON 4
(FRESHMAN)
"It's just in high school, knowledge was pretty much frowned upon; you really had to work to learn anything. But here, the energy, the collective intelligence, it's like this force, this penetrating force, and I can just feel my mind opening up, you know? And letting this place just thrust into and, and spurt knowledge into ... that sentence ended up in a different place than it started out in."
(FRESHMAN)
"Buffy wouldn't just take off. That's just not in her nature. Except for that one time she disappeared for several months and changed her name, but there were circumstances then. There's no circumstances!"
(LIVING CONDITIONS - Willow to Giles on the phone about Buffy going a little crazy about her room mate)
"Giles, I just talked to Buffy and, yeah, I think she's feeling a little crazy. No, not bitchy crazy, more like homicidal maniac crazy. So I told her to come see you, okay?"
(FEAR ITSELF - Willow when she saw the fear demon)
"It's sooo cute"
(BEER BAD - Willow trying to support Xander in his new job as a barman)
"I'm pregnant by my step-brother who'd rather be with my best friend and who's left me with no place to live, no food, except for this bottle of Wild Turkey, which I drank all up... (Xander looks at her confused).. That's me being tanked and friendless for ya.
(BEER BAD - Willow about parker)
"He deserves a torturous and slow death by spider bites. Well, for today, we'll just have to throw spitballs at his neck in class"
BEER BAD - Willow to Parker)
"That's right. I got your number, id boy. Only thing you're thinking about is how long before you can jump on my bones"
(THE INITATIVE)
"I've seen honest faces before. They usually come attached to liars."
(THE INITATIVE)
"She likes cheese... I'm not saying it's the key to her heart, but Buffy... she likes cheese"
(THE INITATIVE - Willow to Riley about Buffy)
"And if you hurt her I will beat you to death with a shovel"
(THE INITATIVE - Willow moping about Oz in her attempted advise to Riley)
"OK, say that I help, and you start a conversation, it goes great, you like Buffy, she likes you, you spend time together, feelings grow deeper, and one day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops, and it feels like the whole world is made for you two, and you two alone, until the day one of you leaves and rips the still-beating heart from the other, who's now a broken, hollow mockery of the human condition"
(A NEW MAN - Willow commenting about her lack of boyfriend)
"Everyones getting spanked but me"
(PANGS - Willow getting angry about the Chumash tribe)
"You know, I don't think you want to help! You just want to slay the demon and go, la la la"
(THIS YEARS GIRL - Willow about Faith)
"I have an idea — beat the crap out of her!"
(THIS YEARS GIRL - Willow about Faith)
"Hunting for a psychopathic superbitch is definitely in the above-and-beyond category."
(WHO ARE YOU - Willow about Faith)
"Ooh, I wish those council guys would let me have an hour alone in a room with her. If I was larger, and had grenades."
(SUPERSTAR)
Willow: "I don't care if it is an orgy of death, there's still such a thing as a napkin"
(WHERE WILD THINGS ARE - Willow when she see's Giles singing)
"Now I remember why I used to have such a crush on him"
SEASON 5
(BUFFY VS DRACULA - Willow when Giles asks her to keep a secret)
"Now that I know there's something to know, I can't not know, just because I'm afraid somebody will know I know. You know?"
(REAL ME)
"It's Giles! It's 'cause he's British and doesn't understand about stuff"
(OUT OF MY MIND)
"Oh, wow. This place looks great. Oh, I feel like a witch in a magic shop"
(NO PLACE LIKE HOME - Willow about sticking up for Dawn)
"I can't help it. I just have all this involuntary empathy for Dawn. Cuz she's, you know... a big spaz"
(TRIANGLE - Willow to Anya about magic ingrediants)
"I'm not stealing, Im just taking things without paying for them, in what twisted dictionary is that stealing?"
(TRIANGLE - Willow to Tara)
"We can come by between classes. Usually I use that time to copy over my class notes with a system of different colored pens. But it's been pointed out to me that that's, you know...insane"
(TRIANGLE - Willow when she makes a troll intsead of a ball of sunshine)
"He's not a ball of sunshine!"
(TRIANGLE - Willow imitating Anya)
"I like money better than people. People can so rarely be exchanged for goods and/or services"
(LISTENING TO FEAR - Willow when she slayed two vamps)
"I dusted two of them! Yay on me, that was pretty cool, except for the part where I was all terrified and now my knees are all dizzy"
(LISTENING TO FEAR - about Riley not turning up for the slayage)
"Oh piffle, who needs him when I'm dusting two at a ti... (she almost collapses) Whoops"
(THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD - Willow having a go at Xander and Spike)
"Buffy's out, Glory has Dawn, sometime real soon she's gonna use Dawn to tear down the barrier between every dimension that is, so if the two of you wanna fight, do it after the world ends ok!"
(THE GIFT - Willow to Buffy)
"We'll solve this, we will, dont have another coma ok"
SEASON 6
(TWO TO GO - Dark Willow to Andrew and Jonathan)
"Damn that is one effective counter spell, wont keep you alive though"
(GRAVE - Dark Willow to Giles)
"Remember that little spat we had before you left, when you were under the delusion that you were still relevent here, you called me a rank arrogant amateur...Well buckle up Rupert....Caus I've turned pro!"
(GRAVE - Dark Willow to Buffy)
"You're always saving everyone, its kinda pesky!"
SEASON 7
(BENEATH YOU - Willow getting worried that the gang wont want her back)
"Well for starters, the Hellmouth's gettin' all rumbly again. And now I know it's got teeth. And are those literal teeth, cause I don't know if I can handle it. And what if I can handle it? Does that mean I have to be a bigger, badder bad-ass than the source of all badness? And- well, what if I give up all this control stuff and I go all veiny and homicidal again? And what if...."
(CONVERSATIONS WITH DEAD PEOPLE - The first gets into Willows magic and freaks her out)
"Um Buffy, I want you to know that I'm really sorry for letting you down, you know, before, with the magic going all aaaaarrrrrhhh and me going all eeeeeeeehhhh and everything getting all uuuurrrhhhh"
CLICK HERE A2742941 TO GO BACK TO QUOTES MAIN PAGE
(WELCOME TO THE HELLMOUTH - Willow to Buffy about dating)
"When I'm with a boy I like it's hard for me to say anything cool or witty or anything at all. I can usually make a few vowel sounds and then I have to go away"
(THE WITCH - Willow about helping Buffy)
"Yeah! You're the Slayer, and we're, like, the Slayerettes!"
(THE PACK - Willow trying to get Xander to study)
"You remember, you fail math, you flunk out of school, you end up being the guy at the pizza place that sweeps the floor and says, 'Hey, kids, where's the cool parties this weekend?' We've been through this. "
(THE PACK - about Xander when he was possessed by a hyena)
"Why couldn't Xander be possessed by a puppy or some ducks"
(THE PACK - Willow when Buffy suggests she tells Xander how she feels about him)
"No! no speaking up, that way leads to madness and sweaty palms"
(ANGEL - Willow to Buffy about Angel)
"It is kind of novel how he'll stay handsom and young forever, although, you'll still get wrinkly and die....Oh and what about the children?.....I'll be quiet now!"
(NIGHTMARES)
"I don't like spiders, okay? Their furry bodies, and their sticky webs, and what do they need all those legs for anyway? I'll tell you: for crawling across your face in the middle of the night. Ewww! How do they not ruffle you?"
SEASON 2
(SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED)
"This shouldn't take long. I'm probably the only girl in school who has the coroner's office bookmarked as a favorite place"
(REPTILE BOY - Willow to Angel about not having a mirror)
"Oh! Sorry. The reflection thing that you don't have. Angel, how do you shave?"
(HALLOWEEN - Willow to Buffy about her costume)
"Oh, I don't get wild. Wild on me equals spaz."
(HALLOWEEN - Willow about Buffy turning into a defenceless 18th century girl)
"She couldn't've dressed up like Xena?"
(INNOCENCE - Willow when she caught Xander and Cordelia kissing)
"I knew it! I knew it! Well, not 'knew it' in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know. You two were fighting way too much. It's not natural!"
(PHASES - Willow angry with Xander for dating Cordelia)
Great. I'll give Xander a call. What's his number? Oh, yeah, 1- 800-I'm-Dating-A-Skanky-Ho.
(PHASES - Willow to Oz after she found out he was a warewolf)
"Well, I like you. You're nice and you're funny. And you don't smoke. Yeah, okay, werewolf, but that's not all the time. I mean, three days out of the month I'm not much fun to be around either."
(BECOMING PART 1 - Willow about Acathla)
"Okay, somebody explain the whole 'he will suck the world into Hell' thing, because that's the part I'm not loving"
(BECOMING PART 1 - Willow when Buffy says she's there last chance)
"Willow: I don't *wanna* be our only hope! Uh, I crumble under pressure! Let's have another hope"
SEASON 3
(ANNE - Willow to Giles)
"Well, we try not to get killed. That's part of our whole mission statement. 'Don't get killed'."
(BAND CANDY)
"'Kiss rocks'? Why would anyone want to kiss... Oh, wait. I get it."
(REVELATIONS - Willow about Angel)
"Well, he saved me from a horrible flamey death. That sort of makes me like him again"
(GINGERBREAD - Willow to her mum)
Sheila: "Willow, you cut off your hair. That's a new look."
Willow: "Yeah, it's just a sudden whim I had......in August!"
(GINGERBREAD)
"Mom, I'm not an age group. I'm me. Willow group"
(BAD GIRLS)
"Give me time, and I may be the first Wiccan to do all my conjuring in pine-fresh scent"
(DOPPELGANGLAND - Willow to Buffy after being called old reliable)
"Buffy I'm storming off, it doesn't really work if you come with me"
(DOPPELGANGLAND - Willow when the guys were acting a bit strange caus they thought she was dead)
"It's really nice that you all missed me...Say, you didn't happen to do a binch of drugs did ya?
(DOPPELGANGLAND - Vamp Willow to normal Willow about her fluffy jumper)
"Well look at me, Im all fuzzy"
(DOPPELGANGLAND - Willow about her vampire double)
"It's horrible, thats me as a vampire, I'm so evil and...skanky...and I think I'm kinda gay"
SEASON 4
(FRESHMAN)
"It's just in high school, knowledge was pretty much frowned upon; you really had to work to learn anything. But here, the energy, the collective intelligence, it's like this force, this penetrating force, and I can just feel my mind opening up, you know? And letting this place just thrust into and, and spurt knowledge into ... that sentence ended up in a different place than it started out in."
(FRESHMAN)
"Buffy wouldn't just take off. That's just not in her nature. Except for that one time she disappeared for several months and changed her name, but there were circumstances then. There's no circumstances!"
(LIVING CONDITIONS - Willow to Giles on the phone about Buffy going a little crazy about her room mate)
"Giles, I just talked to Buffy and, yeah, I think she's feeling a little crazy. No, not bitchy crazy, more like homicidal maniac crazy. So I told her to come see you, okay?"
(FEAR ITSELF - Willow when she saw the fear demon)
"It's sooo cute"
(BEER BAD - Willow trying to support Xander in his new job as a barman)
"I'm pregnant by my step-brother who'd rather be with my best friend and who's left me with no place to live, no food, except for this bottle of Wild Turkey, which I drank all up... (Xander looks at her confused).. That's me being tanked and friendless for ya.
(BEER BAD - Willow about parker)
"He deserves a torturous and slow death by spider bites. Well, for today, we'll just have to throw spitballs at his neck in class"
BEER BAD - Willow to Parker)
"That's right. I got your number, id boy. Only thing you're thinking about is how long before you can jump on my bones"
(THE INITATIVE)
"I've seen honest faces before. They usually come attached to liars."
(THE INITATIVE)
"She likes cheese... I'm not saying it's the key to her heart, but Buffy... she likes cheese"
(THE INITATIVE - Willow to Riley about Buffy)
"And if you hurt her I will beat you to death with a shovel"
(THE INITATIVE - Willow moping about Oz in her attempted advise to Riley)
"OK, say that I help, and you start a conversation, it goes great, you like Buffy, she likes you, you spend time together, feelings grow deeper, and one day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops, and it feels like the whole world is made for you two, and you two alone, until the day one of you leaves and rips the still-beating heart from the other, who's now a broken, hollow mockery of the human condition"
(A NEW MAN - Willow commenting about her lack of boyfriend)
"Everyones getting spanked but me"
(PANGS - Willow getting angry about the Chumash tribe)
"You know, I don't think you want to help! You just want to slay the demon and go, la la la"
(THIS YEARS GIRL - Willow about Faith)
"I have an idea — beat the crap out of her!"
(THIS YEARS GIRL - Willow about Faith)
"Hunting for a psychopathic superbitch is definitely in the above-and-beyond category."
(WHO ARE YOU - Willow about Faith)
"Ooh, I wish those council guys would let me have an hour alone in a room with her. If I was larger, and had grenades."
(SUPERSTAR)
Willow: "I don't care if it is an orgy of death, there's still such a thing as a napkin"
(WHERE WILD THINGS ARE - Willow when she see's Giles singing)
"Now I remember why I used to have such a crush on him"
SEASON 5
(BUFFY VS DRACULA - Willow when Giles asks her to keep a secret)
"Now that I know there's something to know, I can't not know, just because I'm afraid somebody will know I know. You know?"
(REAL ME)
"It's Giles! It's 'cause he's British and doesn't understand about stuff"
(OUT OF MY MIND)
"Oh, wow. This place looks great. Oh, I feel like a witch in a magic shop"
(NO PLACE LIKE HOME - Willow about sticking up for Dawn)
"I can't help it. I just have all this involuntary empathy for Dawn. Cuz she's, you know... a big spaz"
(TRIANGLE - Willow to Anya about magic ingrediants)
"I'm not stealing, Im just taking things without paying for them, in what twisted dictionary is that stealing?"
(TRIANGLE - Willow to Tara)
"We can come by between classes. Usually I use that time to copy over my class notes with a system of different colored pens. But it's been pointed out to me that that's, you know...insane"
(TRIANGLE - Willow when she makes a troll intsead of a ball of sunshine)
"He's not a ball of sunshine!"
(TRIANGLE - Willow imitating Anya)
"I like money better than people. People can so rarely be exchanged for goods and/or services"
(LISTENING TO FEAR - Willow when she slayed two vamps)
"I dusted two of them! Yay on me, that was pretty cool, except for the part where I was all terrified and now my knees are all dizzy"
(LISTENING TO FEAR - about Riley not turning up for the slayage)
"Oh piffle, who needs him when I'm dusting two at a ti... (she almost collapses) Whoops"
(THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD - Willow having a go at Xander and Spike)
"Buffy's out, Glory has Dawn, sometime real soon she's gonna use Dawn to tear down the barrier between every dimension that is, so if the two of you wanna fight, do it after the world ends ok!"
(THE GIFT - Willow to Buffy)
"We'll solve this, we will, dont have another coma ok"
SEASON 6
(TWO TO GO - Dark Willow to Andrew and Jonathan)
"Damn that is one effective counter spell, wont keep you alive though"
(GRAVE - Dark Willow to Giles)
"Remember that little spat we had before you left, when you were under the delusion that you were still relevent here, you called me a rank arrogant amateur...Well buckle up Rupert....Caus I've turned pro!"
(GRAVE - Dark Willow to Buffy)
"You're always saving everyone, its kinda pesky!"
SEASON 7
(BENEATH YOU - Willow getting worried that the gang wont want her back)
"Well for starters, the Hellmouth's gettin' all rumbly again. And now I know it's got teeth. And are those literal teeth, cause I don't know if I can handle it. And what if I can handle it? Does that mean I have to be a bigger, badder bad-ass than the source of all badness? And- well, what if I give up all this control stuff and I go all veiny and homicidal again? And what if...."
(CONVERSATIONS WITH DEAD PEOPLE - The first gets into Willows magic and freaks her out)
"Um Buffy, I want you to know that I'm really sorry for letting you down, you know, before, with the magic going all aaaaarrrrrhhh and me going all eeeeeeeehhhh and everything getting all uuuurrrhhhh"
CLICK HERE A2742941 TO GO BACK TO QUOTES MAIN PAGE
