Unrequited love
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
I decided to write this entry because I searched for something on this topic myself and there was nothing to be found. I figured that there are probably millions of people out there suffering in the throes of unrequited love, and they could really do with hearing from someone else in the same boat.
I have been in love with the same person for ten years now, and in all that time he has never once shown any interest in me whatsoever. He was my first love and I'm sure he will be my last. However, I am now at a stage where I can live with this unrequited love without it ruining my life or making me miserable. And this is how I did it:
Step 1
Don't tell the person about your true feelings. If the love is unrequited then there is no point - you know what the reaction will be. You will only scare them, make them angry or make a fool of yourself. I have done all of these! Instead, always try to be light and happy around the person, and never, ever let them see if you are upset about them. This way you will be a really calm, reliable person to be around, and they will want your company more and more.
Step 2
Don't put your life on hold. You may feel that this person is your soulmate and that you are destined to be with them; whether this is the case or not you should still have fun in the meantime. You can date other people, spend time with friends, enjoy your hobbies - whatever you want to do. This person will always be an important part of your life, but they should never BE your life.
Step 3
Don't get into the habit. No I'm not talking about drug addiction or becoming a nun. What I mean is, look carefully at your feelings for this person. You may find that the love you used to feel so desperately is no longer there, and that you just think you feel it because you did for so long. This kind of habit is really difficult to spot and even harder to break, but if this is the case with you, just think how good it would be not to have that ache any more.
Step 4
Concentrate on smaller goals. It may feel like your beloved will never feel anything for you, but the chances are that if you are even slightly compatible you can have a good relationship just being friends. For most sufferers of unrequited love, being friends would be almost as good as being partners. You may even find that things grow from there, or if they don't, that you find yourself contented with the friendship alone.
I hope this short guide helps you to deal with unrequited love. It is something which can never really be cured, but the pain can be eased somewhat in this way. My love and I are now best friends, and believe me, it is a thousand times better that being in love with him and having nothing in return. I hope this helps! :-)
I have been in love with the same person for ten years now, and in all that time he has never once shown any interest in me whatsoever. He was my first love and I'm sure he will be my last. However, I am now at a stage where I can live with this unrequited love without it ruining my life or making me miserable. And this is how I did it:
Step 1
Don't tell the person about your true feelings. If the love is unrequited then there is no point - you know what the reaction will be. You will only scare them, make them angry or make a fool of yourself. I have done all of these! Instead, always try to be light and happy around the person, and never, ever let them see if you are upset about them. This way you will be a really calm, reliable person to be around, and they will want your company more and more.
Step 2
Don't put your life on hold. You may feel that this person is your soulmate and that you are destined to be with them; whether this is the case or not you should still have fun in the meantime. You can date other people, spend time with friends, enjoy your hobbies - whatever you want to do. This person will always be an important part of your life, but they should never BE your life.
Step 3
Don't get into the habit. No I'm not talking about drug addiction or becoming a nun. What I mean is, look carefully at your feelings for this person. You may find that the love you used to feel so desperately is no longer there, and that you just think you feel it because you did for so long. This kind of habit is really difficult to spot and even harder to break, but if this is the case with you, just think how good it would be not to have that ache any more.
Step 4
Concentrate on smaller goals. It may feel like your beloved will never feel anything for you, but the chances are that if you are even slightly compatible you can have a good relationship just being friends. For most sufferers of unrequited love, being friends would be almost as good as being partners. You may even find that things grow from there, or if they don't, that you find yourself contented with the friendship alone.
I hope this short guide helps you to deal with unrequited love. It is something which can never really be cured, but the pain can be eased somewhat in this way. My love and I are now best friends, and believe me, it is a thousand times better that being in love with him and having nothing in return. I hope this helps! :-)
