Under Construction...

”Sock puppet n. [Usenet: from the act of placing a sock over your hand and talking to it and pretending it's talking back] In Usenet parlance, a pseudo through which the puppeteer posts follow-ups to their own original message to give the appearance that a number of people support the views held in the original message¹.”
From The Internet Jargon Dictionary.

The Problem:

Imagine for a moment that you are involved in a heated debate about an issue which is very important to you but, somehow, your opponents are increasingly, and at a very fast rate, gaining points and, even so their views are blatantly incorrect, you find yourself in a ever decreasing minority when it comes to challenge their so obviously flawed arguments.


To top it up, there is no hope at all that the proverbial cavalry will arrive, as there is no one on sight ³ to come to your rescue.

Not something very pleasant to imagine but not something to be dismissed either, as, unfortunately, even the best of us all could one day find themselves in a similar frustrating situation.

So, the use of a sock puppet, as an emergency measure, might be the only way possible to get out of it ⁴ but, if you open a new account then, your attempt is bound to fail lamentably. The “sock puppets hunters” will without fail spot it, especially if it comes to your rescue straight after having registered⁵.

The Solution:

The solution is actually very simple and, unless you are psychic and have already predicted the tricky situation and taken the appropriate steps to remedy it ⁶, you will agree that the following suggestion is definitely the best and the most efficient of all possible solutions.

All you need to do is:

(1) Time travel back to when the site has just opened.

(2) Register your alter ego.


(3) Build up a reputation of seriousness for it.

You should not worry about the fact that you might have to follow your alter ego's online life up to the point when you need its help as, even if it means spending years in the past, it will only take a few minutes of your time in the present.

There are still a few advices that need to be followed though:

(a) Make a point of registering your puppet before the date you've registered yourself.

(b) Do change the way you type while using that alternative persona. If not, you could be seen as your puppet's puppet when you register.

(c) Do not let your alter ego getting involved in other discussions you are in.

(d) Do not be tempted to use your other account to settle scores with your own opponents before that crucial moment, as that would drastically reduce the effect needed when the time has come to make efficient use of your sock puppet.

There are some side-effects which have been noticed as a result of intensive 'time traveling sock puppeteering' unfortunately. One of them being a high risk of identity crisis.

So, it is advised that you try to take a break from your alternative persona as often as possible.

Of course, to time travel you need the proper equipment, but you should be able to get hold of a time machine by checking the local papers' classified adverts.

Failing that, you have nothing to lose by:

(a) Asking around⁷.

(b) Asking one of the scientists you have come into contact before⁸.

(c) Asking your country's secret services for a spare one⁹.

(d) Asking those guys dressed in black who are always hanging around the local ufologist's home¹⁰.

(e) Asking the BBC to borrow the TARDIS used in the old Doctor Who's TV series.

Just In Case:

If your quest for a time machine has for some unexpected reasons failed¹¹, then the best option would be that you keep well away from that controversial discussion.

This will, at least, save you from some irritating but also very embarrassing moments.

As it is rightly pointed out in the 'Guide to Netiquette on h2g2'
:

"Don't expect to have the last word. h2g2 would die if anyone ever did; it's for discussion and debate."

Easier said than done, granted... Some 'Tips on Anger Management' might come handy in some of those frustrating situations we are faced with at times.

"Often, when working with or coming into contact with someone who really annoys you, the best plan is just to walk away and leave them talking to themselves. You have no idea just how silly they look standing there raving away at, nothing!"

You might not have had a chance to make the points you wanted to make, but, at the end of the day, you will not be the one looking bad...

Of course, had you made the effort to follow my advices on how to get a time machine in the first place, this last section would not have been needed...