January17: I may be wrong, but businesses do not grow by recruiting or encouraging dull blobby clones?
18: Hey don't tar the Wombles with the same brush - they were musically very accomplished.
19: First day of real winter today. Below freezing, and the wind is brutal. Hope it will be better tomorrow. Blue bird Long Island N.Y.
22: Another disappointment for me is, that Sir Paul seems to keep everyting about Beatles "acceptable". Never an insight of the harsh, or hedonistic reality in those days.
23: i want 2 cancel this account what 2 do
24: I was going to do 'schisms alienating the neo-platonist paradigm' but I think this has grabbed my attention for the moment.
25: I also got thrown off a course for the terminally unemployed by 'misusing' their computers for surfing hootoo.
26: I know that my arguments were superb, but unfortunately I can't remember which side I was arguing for.
29: Einstein - I seem to remember he had integrity for some reason - something about feeling responsible for the bomb he helped to invent.
Then again maybe not.
30: happiness - it's not a product of things or people or events, it's your state of mind.
31: A pretty girl in a bikini always works for me! … If there are more Front Pages like that, I'll be checking in regularly.
February1: "Dear forty two in tha Big Brutha howse, and arl the howsemayats are forced to live exclusively on vegetables of the Apiaceae famlee."
2: There was a farmer here in Ireland a while ago who did manage to rig up a generator that made electricity from his cows' dung. In fact, he managed to produce a surplus…
5: Can I just say, this thread is like a car crash. Every hair on my body is standing on end but I can't stop reading
6: That's the great thing about music, it's subjective. I mean, *I* think I can sing, but I've yet to meet someone who agrees.
7: We are, of course, all facing death. My prefered method is calm acceptance. Whether I could maintain such a detatched attitude while falling from a plane I am not quite sure
8: One day you'll look back and tell your grandkids about the day some nutter on a computer who you couldn't see, and had never met, typed a few things on a thing called a keyboard, and asked you to put a little yellow face on one of those old things they used to call a computer...
9: Credit cards. … It bugs me when people spend money on them and then blame the companies for giving them the money.
12: Does anyone else have music playing in their head? I have a whole soundtrack to my life. God help me, I get the most cheesy songs…
13: Personally, I think as dumb ideas go, this one rates alongside drinking electricity.
14: Pain or no pain, I still believe in love.
15: a friend of mine used to have a dog what would start licking the screen if there were puppies on it.
16: A man named John Bellavia has entered over 5,000 contests, and has never won anything
19: The front page Quote of the Day comes from this very thread.
20: I forgot to mention my rather large collection of Garfields. I have between 40-50 of them, all with beady eyes that watch me sleeping
21: It just goes to show how amazing a VW 1300 with a 'body kit' can be...plus it didn't smell of fish when it rained
22: Do dogs have accents?
23: A … Your move.
26: Did anyone *see* Gemini's performance on the night? They didn't even sing in key!
27: NOthings what it used to be, the world is going to wrack and ruin, what's there to be happy about?
28: I could never understand why Roy Orbison "..drove all night, and crapped in your room..."
March1: If given a choice though, between immortality and eventual death, I *think I would go for quality over quantity ultimately.
2: I reckon sheep can swim, and they also have a very cruel sense of humour!!
5: My son, meanwhile, thinks that our modem is the internet. When I put something over it the other day while tidying up, he told me to be careful, in case I squashed the internet
6: I'd learn every language on Earth, so when new ones occur, I can be all 'I was around when French was being spoken!'.
7: Saw Hot Fuzz yesterday. Is it me or was there one Hell of a homoerotic strand running through it?
8: Odd, but working in a lab, we see the same old infections day in, day out. If someone sends in a sample with an exotic infection, we get all excited!
9: If someone buys one team on the card every sunday for two years are they more, less or the equally likely to have had a single win then someone who has only ever played once?
12: Let us step forward two or three hundred years into the future where a momentuous event is about to happen.
13: Medieval Martial Arts also combines dagger work and wrestling. Some courses even do quarterstaff (which I'm sure would come in handy if you were attacked and only had a mop to defend yourself with).
14: It requires some practice but it is not impossible to reduce your thoughts to listening to your inner sounds and watching the inner eyelids. The Perfect state of .
15: I signed up for meditation classes once - well, I figured it was better than sitting around doing nothing.
16: The question's a bit academic now because I've had them for lunch, but if I'm about to be unpleasantly ill it would be nice to know what to blame.
19: Don't believe him! … He's just jelous I can wear a leather mini and get away with it
20: Cheese doesn't win Eurovision any more. The only way to win (or get close) these days is to be stark raving mad.
21: I want to attract more birds.
22: Oh my Ecco the Dolphin...I'm stuck (for about two years) on Tides of Time, I can't get past the Medusa. Does anyone know how to get past or kill the blighter?
23: Trust me honey, compared to me you are young. Enjoy it while it lasts.
26: oh, and that's true. We take beer very seriously us Aussies. VERY seriously.
27: As long as he sat in the back and left his axe at home, it shouldn't be a problem
28: Ok, try this - A moment, unknown, a dimension, unknown, a force, unknown; a meeting. (6)
29: I now make it a point to look exceptionally scruffy when I go to large superstores to see what their 'surveillance cameras' make of it.
30: There is a technique for telling whether you are dreaming or not.
April2: The Proclaimers' 500 Miles. As close to perfect as a song can get and easy to play too. But what does 'haver' mean?
3: At the login screen for GMail, they were advertising a new feature called paper archive. they would print a copy of any email that you wanted for free, with only a few adds on the reverse.
4: Now you can tease any lion … Or alien from Orion … Or smack a proud shark on the snout.
5: My hamster isnt dead after all....just had a very long sleep
10: unless somebody can prove to me liv tyler is a better ukelele player ,my vote goes to george formby
11: He … was confronted with the sight of a red-faced Burton jumping up and down on the spot and screaming "It's not bloody working Harris!!!!"
12: They meet and Harry dies on the front page.
13: It's nice to know that a small proportion of your licence fee funds this brand of cutting-edge journalism from BBC News. If that makes Quote of the Day, I'll eat my keyboard.
16: Aw! Powminator 'Brown Girl in the Ring' is an awesome song! I saw Boney M live last year. Me and my friends were singing it for ages after!
17: I used to think it was, "to all intensant purposes" - whatever "intensant" should be I have no idea.
18: I became convinced some time ago that all accents are assumed. Around puberty we take on a persona that we generally keep for life.
19: What I really wanted to say was that, by putting lettuce on top of the tomato, you create a barrier that prevents sogginess. This can also be achieved by mayonnaise but it is an unreliable barrier!
20: I am really Kate Moss
23: I hate queue-jumpers as much as I hate the people who allow them to push in and then moan about them afterwards
24: My uncle used to make this and OOOFFT it had kick!
25: How about a quick Aloo Gobi?
26: If anybody wants an example of the best of h2g2 they should quote this thread. Thanks guys, very enjoyable and educative.
27: Are masonry bees the ones with complicated handshakes and a trouser leg rolled up?
30: It's something I have often pondered. Why is it that, in a moment of terror, humans will scream? What's the point?
May1: Honestly, the writers keep trying to crowbar a bit of moral ambiguity into the Daleks, but it always comes back to >Exterminate<.
2: Why can't you make tea in cold water?
3: Just dropped my last piece of tiffin on the floor. I hate it when that happens!
4: We have an instinct to run when a big scary crocodile looms into view.
8: 'I assure you officer, I've only had a few ales.'
9: Now at 86 yrs old ah weers headphones cos ah'm a goin' deef.
10: Celine Dion use of her voice has all the grace and of a hair dryer on full heat blowing grit directly into your eye.
11: Mysterious thing is, why did the owner change his name to Mr Goodlove????
14: I have been told I'm actually Butters from South Park...
15: Rats are the best rodents you can have for pets. They are so intelligent they are more like having a dog than a rodent. Obviously they don't bark
16: "sing ding-a-dong every hour, when you pick a flower, even when your lover is gone, gone, gone"
17: Threads like these make me realise how hard a time mathsy and non-mathsy people can have talking to each other sometimes.
18: how much animal matter is in the air? How much is liable to be in a random single breath. Should vegetarians be worried?
21: My petty hate is change on top of notes. It slides off unpredictably and is hard to get back in your purse with a load of shopping in the other hand.
22: don't tickle the chestnut with the mango stick and all that.
23: Frogs moved into the pond a couple of ago, and there are now loads of baby ones that seem to like hiding in the grass. This makes mowing the lawn rather difficult.
24: St. John and St. Claire transmute easily to Sinjin and Sinclaire … but how many others are there?
25: When were you last near some damp decaying wood?
29: How long would it take to hoover Britain?
30: Perhaps marigolds, calendula, impatiens, or tiger lilies? You could easily work a bit of white in with lilies of the valley or baby's breath.
31: Tristram didn't buy food but rather visited supermarkets and sandwich chains at the end of the day to pick up food that would otherwise go to the landfill.
June1: 3 guys walk into a Pawn Shop and pay £30 for a snooker table.
4: I was bored the other day and took self portraits with my head wrapped in tinfoil
5: The idea that you can have a black hole with an average density of less than air, and survivable tidal forces at the event horizon is causing me to realize how much I don't understand black holes.
6: The moon in June is often called the Rose Moon, Flower Moon or Strawberry Moon due to nearing Mars and getting some of the browny reflection from the nearby planet.
7: So who is it can walk 4 miles in an hour - a giant in 7 league boots out for a brisk stroll? Downhill, with a following wind?
8: How strange - I don't remember unsubscribing. Maybe I did it by accident..?
11: You should have updated it for a Pernod compatible machine.
12: why do faded clothes appear less faded when wet?
13: Did you see the pig audition?
14: Is it at all possible to fully conceptualise an object with 4 spatial dimensions, without cheating and warping it into 3?
15: I'm still wondering how a Cantonese lipreader copes with the possibility of seven tones.
18: How many types of creatures have actually sunk their fangs into you? Not counting fellow humans.
19: I get this recurring dream, it's like so real, I just dream I'm at the computer, typing stuff onto messageboards, God its happening again.
20: 'Heading up' rather annoys me. As in someone 'heading up' a team or something. What was wrong with 'heading' or 'leading'?
21: My own personal body temperature is not wildly off normal, so what's up with my temperature perceptions?
22: They seem to be rather everywhere. A friend of mine found one when she was in Mongolia complete with large guinness advertisement out front.
25: At last i am on the internet and have founld this site.
26: I know, I've got a one track mind! … But where do black peppercorns come from?
27: I can honestly say that even 20 years ago, I never thought MC Hammer was cool.
28: Problem is, most podcasts I've come accross are absoloute pants. Anyone got any recommendations?
29: Can we prove that we exist in 'reality'
July2: One side of the Nobel Peace Prize medal depicts three naked men frolicking
3: Handy Life Tips no. 38 Never sneeze with your mouth full.
4: The first thing to look for when buying a caravan is Jeremy Clarkson's driveway.
5: Obviously, I know that you get a shadow by blocking light with something that's either translucent or opaque. But what exactly *is* a shadow?
6: Earlier this week I was asking myself if slugs had a sense of smell.
9: Where else would you use the words 'truculent', 'guileless' or 'unconstructive'?
10: I just love it when you talk Pythagoras to me...
11: What would children in YOUR primary school have called you if your name was Shiloh Pitt?
12: The awesome 'Dumpy's rusty nuts' deserves a mention here I believe.
13: Has Jennifer Aniston, for instance, got over Brad yet? Does she have Pitt Closure? Sorry.
16: You can get great views as well if you mount Lord Hereford's Knob.
17: Can't blame my parents for the surname, but my maiden name was Towers, so I was forever referred to as Fawlty
18: Can two cats become friends?
19: a typical female oppossum has thirteen nipples. Twelve in a circle and one in the middle.
20: I just ate crumpets with lashings of butter. So now I'm feeling naughty - but nice!
23: I'm appalled to read that. "Herd" is entirely the wrong collective noun in that context.
24: I happen to know that he's not a tube, but a cone. And he smells of chips.
25: If it takes longer to load than h2g2 I consider the website to be anti-dailup
26: What a weird summer... … How can anyone know what to wear in these conditions?!
27: I can get in an early shot about my theory that re-incarnation is the problem.
30: The only thing I will auto-condiment is fish and chips... but only if I can do it with sea salt and freshly cracked black pepper.
31: Fortunately the religious brainwashing didn't work but I'm pretty good with a tent.
August1: I'd say the most famous living German would probably be Michael Schumacher.
2: I've been told off for using too many 'specialist' sites.
3: any one want challenge an orangutan in charades!?
6: In Ayrshire, we used to shout, "Cannae tig your butcher!"
7: Amazingly petty hate: when the mudguards on my bike rub against the tyre just enough to make a noise
8: I seem to remember an interview with a man from a tribe that didn't have numbers who couldn't say how many children he had beyond "many"
9: So what's the truth? Are potato skins healthy or lethal?
10: I have finally, after many years as a Goo fan, made the switch to Brunel.
13: My dog has two noses...
14: have any researchers used dog travel sickness tablets?
15: It all sounds nice and tolerant and liberal and fluffy...but how far do we want to take it? Need we consider fairies?
16: Apparently these scientist chappies have recruited a worm to help them to find a treatment for alcoholism because it shares about ten thousand genes with us.
17: How is it that the most incompetent people get promoted?
20: There are times when wearing socks with sandals is the utmost comfort
21: Humans can remove half of their brain and still function. (Not as well as with a whole brain of course, but enough to get by.)
22: In this greedy world we live in do people need the money they make
23: I can´t believe you brits still wear powdered white wigs 300 years after everyone else realized how silly they were.
24: Women have a different physiology to men and this lies at the root of their relative alcohol intolerance relative to men. Plus they are mostly smaller and this require a lower volume of ethanol to get schnockkered.
28: I'm not sure I'd trust his recipes. I remember him serving up poodle pie in the movie 'Theatre of Blood'.
29: There is a wasp nest at work. It's in a bush. How can we remove it without having to dig too deep into the purse?
30: myspace or facebook [which do you use/prefer and why?] … Neither. I go to the pub.
31: I can't help notice that when I have a cold and do nothing, I have to endure it for fourteen days whereas if I treat it with any kind of medicine, alternative or not, It's gone in only two weeks.
September3: Come to Germany - very few people here have any idea at all that rugby exists, let alone that there's a World Cup on.
4: Is the pattern on the top of custard creams standard, whoever the manufacturer?
5: Which gives a stronger signal, a mobile phone mast a hundred yards away or a mobile phone pressed to the side of your head?
6: How old does an oak have to be to produce acorns?
7: I hate bathroom attendants. Moving slightly so I can get to the sink and then spraying knock-off cologne at me isn't a job - it's molestation.
10: Preview is my friend. Preview is my friend. Preview is my friend. Preview is my friend. Preview is my friend. Preview is my friend. Preview is my friend.
11: Live Jazz in the foyer is superb, but it makes it hard to get to the door when the chinese take away is delivered.
12: I kept a couple of glasses with the old "gotta lotta bottle" campaign slogan of the Milk Marketing Board, back in the day. … You got anytihng like that?
13: Let's see. Dark, deep, mysterious, incapable of being comfortable either with its shape or proportions, staggeringly distant and completely misrepresented 95% of the time.
14: How come you can see through several foot of glass but a cm of concrete is opaque and yet both are solid?
17: Noticed it the other day, evidence of such halfway up the rear tyre and on the ground. Then noticed it again today.
18: My dog always carries a stick back home ... why?
19: what is a fractal or mandelbrot?
20: Has the internet the 'potential' to be analagous to the development of the ant ?
21: Moving to Bradford next week to start a new job and I don't know the first thing about the place …
24: Is it just a case of the 'grass allways being greener' elsewhere which leads to this 'dissing' of where we actually are?
25: Laughter Tracks … Do they bug you? You know, the canned laughter on programmes, presumably to point out where the jokes are. … Do they actually do anything other than wind up people like me?
26: Am I the only one who hadn't realised how Cinderella and Pretty Woman and Alice in Wonderland and the Matrix have similarities?
27: At what temperature does an average bar of soap melt?
28: I have not even *seen* the bat, but I hear it screaching and hissing and it is loud and noisy and spooky and unpleasant.
October1: What's a minimum amount of memory needed on a phone with MP3 and a 2 mp camera?
2: Been asked to be Best Man for a mate's wedding next year. … What are the perils and pratfalls?
3: With my favourite holiday Halloween approaching again … I thought I'd come ask you all if you know any cool recipies or have /know of any particular customs for it
4: What would you buy and how much would you pay for it?
5: Does h2g2 need an imaginary dog? … And if it did, what ought it be called?
8: So are dolphins whales or are whales dolphins?
9: … despite what we might think are Human Beings really just pack animals after all?
10: Well i think its really him [ phil collins ] in the monkey suit . What do you reckon ?
11: I suddenly have an image of Gloria Estefan on a rooftop.
12: What are people's feelings about tattoos?
15: I have a feeling my posting style is far too boring and generic for me to really stand out. Oh well, life goes on as they do say
16: I've just seen something odd...
17: So does it matter if you add milk to a cup of tea, or put the milk in the cup first and then add the tea?
18: People are always talking about a recipe for disaster, but I can't find it in any of my cookbooks.
19: Are Fatties the new Smokers?
22: Sodium lauryl sulfate gets a lot of bad press.
23: It depends on the pub, some are so rough they have bouncers to throw people IN the pub, other pubs are smarter and nearly wine bars really.
24: Ireland is beautiful and the people are generally lovely, but some of the drivers need sedating.
25: I don't expect you ignorant lot will be capable of understanding this
26: Lots of hope for nerds. We are lovable, talented, gainfully employed, and we shower more often than geeks.
29: Has anyone heard of a song about a boy or man who continually sells off his belongings and always gets the bad part of the deal, like his house for a horse and so on. It begins "Wee waw wittilum, jack saw satalum...."
30: I think there is a new noun in the English vocabulary - the word ask.
31: Why is Murphy's Law also called "Sod's Law"?
November1: I was wondering what is the best carpet underlay people have used to stop noise from neighbours below?
2: How many Z80 processors you would need to match the processing power of a modern duel core Pentium
5: Bang.I like that word its... bangy … Swoosh is anoter one that i like
6: Why is it that almost every shower I ever use seems to have a fraction of a millimetre between 'cold' and 'boiling hot'?
7: Why is it always foggy the day after Bonfire night? … Surely you must have noticed?
8: Moreover, it kicked the thread back to life
9: Can anyone give me a crash course in people: How to recognise subversiveness, how to prevent discord and lack of discipline, how to gain respect?
12: I can do 'smart', I can do 'casual', but how do you do the 'smart casual' …
13: Can birds lift a weight greater than their own body weight?
… By wing power?
14: I once broke my nose on a first aid box at work
15: I was out cycling and as I approached the junction. I spotted a rather gorgeous specimen across the road. I flashed him a cheeky smile, he smiled back, and I gave a lingering look as I turned the corner and slammed into a parked car
16: "Some children are born clever and some are not." Is this true?
19: My view is pretty bleak, mankind will not help itself until the 11th hour and it may, then, be too late.
20: It's kinda like a name-bank. All donations accepted.
21: It's pronounced "Nigh tho' over", meaning "yet to come but already happened", and encapsulates the fundamental trancendental dichotomy of the hootoo philosophy.
22: Stop calling h2g2 an online encyclopaedia. It's not. It's a GUIDE.
23: Make the online eyes softly whisper, making many undefined soft voices filling the threads if people are online. Completely quiet if not.
26: So how is treacle pudding, treacle sponge and treacle toffee named as such, when they are made from syrup?
27: Eggsplosions are very dangerous. I find boiling eggs dry is also quite a grand display.
28: How am I getting on? … Call me socially inept but I've had a really difficult time answering this frankly simple question.
29: Nothing at all. It's a barren wasteland with a big wodge of cultural empty. You'd better bring a book.
30: Weasels Ripped My Flesh …
December3: My favourite is to find a form, carry it to the office, pretend to photocopy it (not actually pressing the button - saving the environment, and all that) then carry it back to where it came from.
4: Looks like I'm cooking goose for...oh, some big dinner type celebration in a few weeks time. … What's good with goose?
5: Anyway it all had a happy ending and now it can be called Family Milk Chocolate.
6: I keep hearing people talking about it: "Come the revolution I'm going to do this or that", but when is it going to happen?
7: I get a little shiver of childish glee at on bright sunny days when watching a handful of leaves get caught in an invisible eddie or whirlwind and get scattered, rustling and crunching round the playgrounds, walls and funnels of modern architecture.
10: I can appreciate that an anniversary is a way to remember something but how important is the passage of one year? And why one year?
11: i have moved to a slightly more rainy area of maui … and the mosquitos not only are ravenous, prolific and wiley, there are different species... about 5 … all with different habits, sizes and modes of operation...
12: It's a common enough saying, but is there anything you would actually give your right arm for?
13: Okay, let me re-phrase that... Doesn't anyone decorate their h2g2 pages any more?
14: Does anyone really buy Viagra because they got Spam in their inbox?
17: He was sent to the neighbouring DIY store to buy a six-foot long Fallopian Tube for the lighting.
18: How can the Guide be made substantively different from Wiki, KNOL, Suite 101 and the others?
19: What is it in the human brain that makes us want money? … Is it a chemical or something else?
20: I thought black holes simply sucked things in, with no hope of escape - how could a black hole be ejecting matter?
21: I remember being surprised after I first joined to find a fair number of people on here who weren't Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy fans.
24: That's one of those songs where they thought of everything except a catchy melody.
27: Had a vigourous debate with fellow teacher trainee yesterday about how warm the temperature was possible to be near the summit of a mountain in Switzerland during march.
28: The best £10 I have ever spent.
31: The only one I can think of OOTOMH is "Hey Matthew" by Karel Fialka.