h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I, Narapoia, caught the fish. Not once, but twice, confounded as I was but the futility of it all. So I thought I might as well admit to it too.

Congratulations!



That's a double fish award for you my dear!

*gives her a salmon and chinchilla pot noodle*

Ooh, salmon and chinchilla! Is that the one that comes with a free toothpick to get the fur out of your teeth?

no... but you do get a lovely selection of gifts....

a holiday to Skunthorpe

or a carriage clock

or a bottle of finest Chardonnay le Swindon.

Ah! The perfect accompaniment to a salmon and chinchilla pot noodle!
I'll take the clock...
Or do I get all 3?

You can have the other two provided you have...

A delectable alligator and felix pot noodle

and a tasty widgeon stuffed swan pot noodle.

Ooooh, lovely! I'll have the lot!
I assume that by felix you mean the crunchy topping stuff rather than the gravy-smothered kind, but either will do.

For my experiments, you understand.

Well you never actually said I had to eat them, did you?

Well Felix is more of a... name than a foodstuff.

You could try not eating them. But the last person who did that was cursed to eternally wear a bicycle wheel over their heads. Didn't matter who tried to move it; physicians, brain surgeons, physics experts, experimental physics experts, nuclear physisists, doctors, me, the strongest man in the world, four ponies and a carton of vaseline. It wouldn't come off. Very sad story.

Wouldn't work with me - I have a strange repellant force when it comes to bicyles. I've owned two in the last 20 years and ridden them, ooh, at least three times...
No, any curse that came my way would not be bicycle related. More likely to be the Having to Wear a Skirt to Work curse, or the Unable to Eat Anything I Like one.

PS my cat seems to think Felix is a foodstuff...

I know how it is. They won't eat it unless it has a felix label. And when you try and switch the label they won't believe you. *sighs*

And yet when I try the same thing - you know, caviar, expensive restaurants, champagne - all I get is a funny look or at most a patronising comment of some kind.

yeah. Like mrow?

Mrow indeed.
And as for getting affection, well rubbing yourself up against people does run the risk of being misinterpreted...

I've been making an RSPCA page for cats that need rehoming.
Some of the photos make the cats look like demonic beasts though....


http://clarefolkes.easycgi.com/rspca/rehome.html

Yeah, get that Hermione...

So when I'm ready for new cats I know where to come then! I'm down to one, sadly, but I don't think it would be fair to get any more until our building work is finished. Fluffy does need a friend or two, though - I wouldn't claim he missed Florence specifically (my old lady mog who died a few months ago) but he does seem to miss having other cats around.