Found Property
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Found Property, also known as someone else's lost property, is often thought of as a way of increasing your own worldly wealth. Keeping things ranging from pennies that are face up on the street and other collectible items is a fun passtime.
While this is often profitable, one should consider the following guidelines when in search of found property to avoid such nasty repurcussions as arrest, brutal beating, being lectured, common guilt and worst of all, appearing incredibly dull witted.
1: Do not keep any found property that has a tag upon it that says Property of so and so. This property is not truly available to be found; it is merely vacationing from it's owner. The owner will invariably want this item back because they took the time to affix thier name to it. Exceptions to this rule are of course currency, pixie stix, and beef jerky.
This is a good strategy for having your own items not become LOST PROPERTY (Cross link to entry)
2: Make sure that the property is actually found. Take a seat and watch it for a good 5 minutes and see if anyone returns for the item, asking each passerby, "Is that yours?" If noone claims ownership... pick up the item and politely ask the vicinity, "Does this belong to anyone?" If noone replies after two or three repetitions of this, your found item is probably genuine.
3: If you do not know what the particular found property does, and/or it looks significantly dangerous or life threatening, such as dogs, farm machinery and old cheese. Realize that this item was probably lost for a reason. It hurt it's previous owner.
4: Money is fair game... just wash your hands after handling it. Unless of course the money makes it's home in a vacationing object such as a wallet, purse, locked safe, or other such items.
5: Avoid attaining found property when there are an undue amount of criminal enforcement or public safety practicioners around. They may mistake your adopting found property as kidnapping it from it's previous owner. When in doubt apply rule 1.
6: Judge the worth of a found item before taking it. The worth of a chartreuse polka dot umbrella or a beach ball that has been flattened may not be worth accuiring. This is key in the part concerning your own outward apearance.
While this is often profitable, one should consider the following guidelines when in search of found property to avoid such nasty repurcussions as arrest, brutal beating, being lectured, common guilt and worst of all, appearing incredibly dull witted.
1: Do not keep any found property that has a tag upon it that says Property of so and so. This property is not truly available to be found; it is merely vacationing from it's owner. The owner will invariably want this item back because they took the time to affix thier name to it. Exceptions to this rule are of course currency, pixie stix, and beef jerky.
This is a good strategy for having your own items not become LOST PROPERTY (Cross link to entry)
2: Make sure that the property is actually found. Take a seat and watch it for a good 5 minutes and see if anyone returns for the item, asking each passerby, "Is that yours?" If noone claims ownership... pick up the item and politely ask the vicinity, "Does this belong to anyone?" If noone replies after two or three repetitions of this, your found item is probably genuine.
3: If you do not know what the particular found property does, and/or it looks significantly dangerous or life threatening, such as dogs, farm machinery and old cheese. Realize that this item was probably lost for a reason. It hurt it's previous owner.
4: Money is fair game... just wash your hands after handling it. Unless of course the money makes it's home in a vacationing object such as a wallet, purse, locked safe, or other such items.
5: Avoid attaining found property when there are an undue amount of criminal enforcement or public safety practicioners around. They may mistake your adopting found property as kidnapping it from it's previous owner. When in doubt apply rule 1.
6: Judge the worth of a found item before taking it. The worth of a chartreuse polka dot umbrella or a beach ball that has been flattened may not be worth accuiring. This is key in the part concerning your own outward apearance.
