Oranges
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Oranges. I love them. They're sweet,juicy,tender and nutritious. They can be sucked loudly to insult others, and they have pips which can be used as projectiles. However, if left for too long, the following defects may occur, with unhappy results when one of the abovementioned activities is attempted.
Dryness
This is very bad,because it can be disguised. The fullest-looking, most shiny and round orange in the world can in fact turn out to be absolutely without juice. This means that while you were expecting to get a mouthful of refreshing liquid, in fact it draws the moisture from you, making it a HORRIBLE experience.
Fermentation
This, when it happens, can be worse than dryness. It produces a horrific sour taste instead of the wonderful sweetness you were expecting. This can be detected by experienced orangists by the 'squidge' factor of the orange. Fermented oranges are always slightly more slack than the normal,healthy orange.
Decay
This happens when you really haven't been paying attention to the welfare of your fruit bowl. A round,brown, soft patch appears on whatever surface of the orange was in contact with other objects. This means that it cannot be seen until it is picked up, and more often than not, the fingers will come into contact with the putrefying flesh, leaving an unpleasant smell for a long time. Moral: check your fruit bowl regularly.
Mould
In oranges this is generally white and grows on decayed patches(see above.) If this develops, you are not really a capable fruit bowl owner and should go on a course as this causes nasty odours and may affect the welfare of other, innocent oranges and indeed other fruit.
