Staple removers
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Staple removers are devices used for denting display boards and ensuring that a staple is securely fixed in a wall.
Often given by annoyed schoolteachers to aggressive pupils who look like they need an outlet for their rage, they consist of a set of two sharp metal jaws designed to lever out staples with minimum damage. Since they fail on both counts, the accepted methods for removing staples effectively are considered to be:
* stapling something else over the top of the waste staple and forgetting about it - a good, all-purpose method, this is the classic for the kind of people who leave dirty dishes all over their kitchens until they absolutely HAVE to clean them.
* penknifes - effective, but will be blunted by some of the more stubborn types of staple.
* keys - considered useful for large, scary-looking staples that need a really good hammering.
* fingernails - inadvisable, but they'll just about do the job on one of those plush felt-covered boards.
* teeth - stupid, frankly.
Often given by annoyed schoolteachers to aggressive pupils who look like they need an outlet for their rage, they consist of a set of two sharp metal jaws designed to lever out staples with minimum damage. Since they fail on both counts, the accepted methods for removing staples effectively are considered to be:
* stapling something else over the top of the waste staple and forgetting about it - a good, all-purpose method, this is the classic for the kind of people who leave dirty dishes all over their kitchens until they absolutely HAVE to clean them.
* penknifes - effective, but will be blunted by some of the more stubborn types of staple.
* keys - considered useful for large, scary-looking staples that need a really good hammering.
* fingernails - inadvisable, but they'll just about do the job on one of those plush felt-covered boards.
* teeth - stupid, frankly.
