Herefordians
Created | Updated Oct 20, 2010
If you like your towns weird, then Hereford is the most surreal place to go. The City is caught in a perpetual time loop, and the strangest things go on here. People have the inability to give way to each other. If you are polite, then you will never get anywhere in a straight line. Herefordians are like Vogons, they are sheer bloody minded and once they have made up there minds where they are going, not even God himself can make them giveway. If you get in the way, TS. Research has discovered that Moses may have been an ancestor of the first Herefordian but unfortunatly neither are available for comments at this time.</p>
If you collide with a Herefordian, don't even try to be polite, just stare them out. If this fails then all you will get is the frowning of a lifetime and be insulted as soon as they think you are out of earshot.
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<td bgcolor="#006699"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="white"><b>Hobbies of Herefordians include: </b></font>
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1. Hanging around outside MacDonalds
2. um...
3. ah...
4. oh...</p>
Truth is there isn't really anything for Herefordians to do. What there is is too damn expensive. Many Herefordians go to Worcester, Gloucester and Birmingham to go shopping as now there is only pound shops and hair salons in the town center.<LB></LB>
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<td bgcolor="#006699"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="white"><b>The Different kinds of Herefordians: </b></font>
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Bovva boiy: This Herefordian wishes to be hard, yet makes a complete fool of itself in the process. The Bovva boiy is always Male, as female herefordians are meant to be impressed by the actions of the Bovva boiy. Bovva boiys are very easy to spot, they all wear Puffa jackets, the label of which indicates status within their society.
At the bottom of the ladder, are the people who wear Kangol. At the top of the ladder are the ones who wear Helly Hansen clothes... Another good way of spotting the Bovva boiy is to study the way they walk. Bovva boiys always stroll as though they have just soiled themselvs, heel down first and with arms in a primate posture, as though they have a rash on their armpit...</p>
Old bloke: The old bloke is the war veteran, probably your grandad... On second thoughts, being that this *is* Herefordshire, I doubt many people knew about the two World Wars. This evidence is substantiated by the fact that Flintlock rifles are still standard weaponary of Farmers...
Old bloke likes to spend most of his time standing in the middle of the town centre, looking for his wife, Old Dear.</p>
Old dear: Ah, the kranky old Nan you always hated visiting. Old dear's in Herefordshire have evolved into a supreme pusher in of ques. Old dears, will always push in. Whether it's for the <a href="/A293294">Hereford bus service</a> or the que at Tescos.</p>
Pram woman: The single mum who has the Land Rover, armed with an anti-aircraft gun to take her 3 year old Tommy 500 yards down the road to playschool, also is incapable of missing ankles when little Tommy is strapped into his pram. Pram woman will also stop outside the entrance of shops, and converse with another Pram woman.</p>
To summarise: Only the brave or very stupid come come to Hereford. As to which one you are, I leave for you to decide...
If you collide with a Herefordian, don't even try to be polite, just stare them out. If this fails then all you will get is the frowning of a lifetime and be insulted as soon as they think you are out of earshot.
<LB></LB>
<BR/>
<br clear="all">
<table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center">
<tr>
<td colspan="4" align="right"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="#FFFF99" size="2"> </font></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td rowspan="3" align="right" width="13" valign="top"><img src="images/layout/greencircle_L.gif" width="13" height="24"></td>
<td bgcolor="#cccccc" width="80%"><img src="images/blank.gif" width="1" height="1"></td>
<td bgcolor="#cccccc" width="100%" colspan="2"><img src="images/blank.gif" width="1" height="1"></td>
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<td bgcolor="#99cccc"><img src="images/blank.gif" width="1" height="1"></td>
<td bgcolor="#99cccc" width="100%" colspan="2"><img src="images/blank.gif" width="1" height="1"></td>
</tr>
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<td valign="top">
<table border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" vspace="0" hspace="0" width="100%">
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<td bgcolor="#006699"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="white"><b>Hobbies of Herefordians include: </b></font>
</td>
<td align="right" bgcolor="#006699"><img src="images/layout/wave1.gif" width="48" height="22"></td>
</tr>
</table>
</td>
<td width="100%"> </td>
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<p><BR/></p>
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1. Hanging around outside MacDonalds
2. um...
3. ah...
4. oh...</p>
Truth is there isn't really anything for Herefordians to do. What there is is too damn expensive. Many Herefordians go to Worcester, Gloucester and Birmingham to go shopping as now there is only pound shops and hair salons in the town center.<LB></LB>
<BR/>
<br clear="all">
<table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="center">
<tr>
<td colspan="4" align="right"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="#FFFF99" size="2"> </font></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td rowspan="3" align="right" width="13" valign="top"><img src="images/layout/greencircle_L.gif" width="13" height="24"></td>
<td bgcolor="#cccccc" width="80%"><img src="images/blank.gif" width="1" height="1"></td>
<td bgcolor="#cccccc" width="100%" colspan="2"><img src="images/blank.gif" width="1" height="1"></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#99cccc"><img src="images/blank.gif" width="1" height="1"></td>
<td bgcolor="#99cccc" width="100%" colspan="2"><img src="images/blank.gif" width="1" height="1"></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td valign="top">
<table border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" vspace="0" hspace="0" width="100%">
<tr>
<td bgcolor="#006699"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" color="white"><b>The Different kinds of Herefordians: </b></font>
</td>
<td align="right" bgcolor="#006699"><img src="images/layout/wave1.gif" width="48" height="22"></td>
</tr>
</table>
</td>
<td width="100%"> </td>
<td width="100%" valign="top" align="right">
<p><BR/></p>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
Bovva boiy: This Herefordian wishes to be hard, yet makes a complete fool of itself in the process. The Bovva boiy is always Male, as female herefordians are meant to be impressed by the actions of the Bovva boiy. Bovva boiys are very easy to spot, they all wear Puffa jackets, the label of which indicates status within their society.
At the bottom of the ladder, are the people who wear Kangol. At the top of the ladder are the ones who wear Helly Hansen clothes... Another good way of spotting the Bovva boiy is to study the way they walk. Bovva boiys always stroll as though they have just soiled themselvs, heel down first and with arms in a primate posture, as though they have a rash on their armpit...</p>
Old bloke: The old bloke is the war veteran, probably your grandad... On second thoughts, being that this *is* Herefordshire, I doubt many people knew about the two World Wars. This evidence is substantiated by the fact that Flintlock rifles are still standard weaponary of Farmers...
Old bloke likes to spend most of his time standing in the middle of the town centre, looking for his wife, Old Dear.</p>
Old dear: Ah, the kranky old Nan you always hated visiting. Old dear's in Herefordshire have evolved into a supreme pusher in of ques. Old dears, will always push in. Whether it's for the <a href="/A293294">Hereford bus service</a> or the que at Tescos.</p>
Pram woman: The single mum who has the Land Rover, armed with an anti-aircraft gun to take her 3 year old Tommy 500 yards down the road to playschool, also is incapable of missing ankles when little Tommy is strapped into his pram. Pram woman will also stop outside the entrance of shops, and converse with another Pram woman.</p>
To summarise: Only the brave or very stupid come come to Hereford. As to which one you are, I leave for you to decide...
