The Welsh are a mysterious and enigmatic race. I by no means intend to slander either the nation or the people with this article, and so I apologise now if anyone takes offense at what I write. That was not my intention in writing this. I am merely exploring a concept. Besides, just wait until you see what I am going to write about the English...

Curious misconceptions of the Welsh.

It is this part which will baffle most armchair comedians (and those like Roy 'Chubby' Brown who, unfortunately, managed to get onto the stage): not all Welshmen are married to sheep and they don't all own fish and chip shops. The whole sheep thing has a historical context, and will be explained. However, the thing about the fish and chip shops remains inexplicable. As even Gordon Brown, a Chancellor of the Exchequor who knows bog-all about the economy, would tell you, no nation can base its entire economy on fish and chip shops. If this was the case, where would all the sheep come from?

Welsh History.

When the Romans invaded the British Isles a couple of millenia ago, they considered invading Wales but, having left all their mountaineering gear at home, decided against it. Instead, they just sat in Bristol and claimed that it was theirs. A hundred years later, they came back, with ropes and boots and climbing stuff. Even then, it took them a while, as the Celts in Wales, named the Welsh later by the Anglo-Saxons from their word 'Wealas' meaning foreigner, employed their well-known tactic of sitting in a high place surrounded by well-built walls and bombarded the opposition with long-range efforts from Neil Jenkins. If you are wondering why the rugby reference is in there, then you should really take another look at the Welsh forwards. They are the well-built wall. Of brick sh*thouses. As for the high place, have you seen the Millenium Stadium? The only reason that the Welsh agreed to play their home games at Wembley Stadium was that it was on top of a hill.

Well, I said it was brief. I just wanted to get the thing about the rugby in, as it is marginally funny and has significance for another article I wrote on British politics. It has been described by outside sources as very, very funny. You can see it here, if you want.

Don't feel obliged to.