bobby jack's tips for effective revision

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OK, so there are some exams coming up and, like me, you're starting to wonder "How am I going to pass?" or "What was
that mysterious fifth course I took last semester ( I'm sure there was one ... ) ?". You're starting to panic and
you know you're going to have to resort to some kind of revision to get through. Here is what to do.

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<b><u>1. Start early.</u></b><BR/>
Depending on how organised or how scared you are, your definition of early will range from the optimistic (1 month) to
the realistic (1 week) but a balance between these two extremes should be aimed at. I find two weeks is a sensible
target to aim for; this gives you 14-18 days so about 4 days for each subject.

<p class=text>
<b><u>2. Try not to drink as much as usual.</u></b><BR/>
If, like me, this sounds like a daunting task, try the following:
<li> Only go to the pub twice a week maximum.
<li> Buy in a stock of your favourite beverage for home consumption but never start drinking this before 11 p.m. You
can then fit in a day's drinking after 11 p.m. If this means you'll be drinking until 2.00 a.m, don't worry - it's
not like you have to get up early or anything.
<li> Erm ... I can't think of any other ways to handle this.

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<b><u>3. Grow a beard.</u></b><BR/>
Alright, for blokes only this one so apologies to anyone else. This may seem frivolous but, apart from any kind of
revision, this is the most useful thing you can do during the period because:
<li> A beard provides a useful yard-stick for measuring the amount of days that are rapidly passing. By the time it
starts itching, you should've probably done about 1/3rd of your revision. When the 'tache and chin hair fully
join up, you should've done at least half. If you look in the mirror and find food stuck in your growth, <b>exams
are getting near</b>, you should've done at least three-quarters of the work.

<li> During exams, the stroking of facial hair can provide a great way of alieving stress. You'll also look
pseudo-intelligent and you might scare a few people in the exam hall who think you know what you're doing.

<li> You'll save precious minutes each day not shaving. This can be used for vital things such as revision ...

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If you can't grow a beard, just go a while without shaving. It might look a bit stupid but, hey, who cares about
personal appearance during exams.<BR/>
If you're female, you might like to leave your lip-hair / leg-hair to grow a bit. Actually, that's disgusting - please

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<b><u>4. Go to the library.</u></b><BR/>
This is the ideal opportunity to visit that mythical place on campus. The library is an ideal place for revision for the
following reasons:
<li>There's no bar.
<li>It really makes you feel like you're doing something worthwhile rather than staying in bed watching Jerry
<li>There's books there which, believe it or not, might actually teach you something about your course.
<li>No-one else is there so there are no distractions.

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That's it. I hope these words of wisdom will be of some use but, let's face it, they won't. As a final thought, don't
worry - they're only exams. If you fail you can always get drunk, crawl into a corner, put a coat over your head
and come up smiling three days later.


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