UNfunny
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
How to be completly unfunny. I can tell you that. I am the master of being unfunny. My references: I am a math major and on top of it German, known to be the most unfunny people in the world.
So, how can you be completly unfunny and succesful at it. There are ways. First of all, bad jokes are always good to remember. It makes things even more unfunny, if you are able to completly ruin the point of the joke. There are many ways to achieve this:
1. Emphasize the wrong parts of the joke.
2. Laugh yourself at the wrong part of the joke.
3. Forget the point of the joke and try to make one up yourself.
4. Remember the point of the joke but forget the rest of the joke and make a complete fool out of yourself trying to find a story that could successfully lead up to that point.
If you follow these steps, you will be on top of the unfunny list with all of your friends and aquaintances.
Secondly, in a situation such as a date there are ways that unfunnyness can ruin this moment beautifully. Follow these steps:
1. Do not plan the date. This is very important! While the 2 of you sit in the car trying to figure out what to do, your date will have long noticed how unfunny you are and at that point would rather date a porcupine than you.
2. In the decision process, suggest places where you have to sit down and talk. Coffee shops are suggested by the author. This will give you a lot of time to develop your ability in the earlier mentioned joking section.
3. Should it come to the point when there is absolutely nothing to do. Suggest to go to your appartment. Show the date your collection of oddities that have sentimental value only to you and are by far the most unfunny objects for everybody else. At this point Tactic 3 can also be utilized which I will explain shortly. Objects that have the best effect are pictures, souvenirs that other people bought for you from places you have never been, and toys that you havent looked at for the past 10 years to mention just a few.
Following these steps will ensure that your date will know for sure that you are one unfunny character and will prevent any further attempts of them dating you.
Third and lastly, Tactic 3. For this part you need a mouth and 2 ears as come in the standard version of every human. The mouth needs to be turned to constant talk and the ears to constant ignore.
This tactic works in various settings and should be used as often as possible. It involves talking for a long period of time. Talk about anything at all. Any topic will do. However, the more pointless and repetitive it is the better. Start talking and cut people off when they are trying to contribute to the conversation. The conversation needs to be one sided. It can be helped by items as mentioned earlier.
Following this rule will not only make everybody know that you are one unfunny son of a gun, but will also ensure that nobody will try talking to you anymore.
Having successfully complete these steps will make you extremly unfunny and, I can say this from personal experience, keep you far away from any social events.
Good luck.
So, how can you be completly unfunny and succesful at it. There are ways. First of all, bad jokes are always good to remember. It makes things even more unfunny, if you are able to completly ruin the point of the joke. There are many ways to achieve this:
1. Emphasize the wrong parts of the joke.
2. Laugh yourself at the wrong part of the joke.
3. Forget the point of the joke and try to make one up yourself.
4. Remember the point of the joke but forget the rest of the joke and make a complete fool out of yourself trying to find a story that could successfully lead up to that point.
If you follow these steps, you will be on top of the unfunny list with all of your friends and aquaintances.
Secondly, in a situation such as a date there are ways that unfunnyness can ruin this moment beautifully. Follow these steps:
1. Do not plan the date. This is very important! While the 2 of you sit in the car trying to figure out what to do, your date will have long noticed how unfunny you are and at that point would rather date a porcupine than you.
2. In the decision process, suggest places where you have to sit down and talk. Coffee shops are suggested by the author. This will give you a lot of time to develop your ability in the earlier mentioned joking section.
3. Should it come to the point when there is absolutely nothing to do. Suggest to go to your appartment. Show the date your collection of oddities that have sentimental value only to you and are by far the most unfunny objects for everybody else. At this point Tactic 3 can also be utilized which I will explain shortly. Objects that have the best effect are pictures, souvenirs that other people bought for you from places you have never been, and toys that you havent looked at for the past 10 years to mention just a few.
Following these steps will ensure that your date will know for sure that you are one unfunny character and will prevent any further attempts of them dating you.
Third and lastly, Tactic 3. For this part you need a mouth and 2 ears as come in the standard version of every human. The mouth needs to be turned to constant talk and the ears to constant ignore.
This tactic works in various settings and should be used as often as possible. It involves talking for a long period of time. Talk about anything at all. Any topic will do. However, the more pointless and repetitive it is the better. Start talking and cut people off when they are trying to contribute to the conversation. The conversation needs to be one sided. It can be helped by items as mentioned earlier.
Following this rule will not only make everybody know that you are one unfunny son of a gun, but will also ensure that nobody will try talking to you anymore.
Having successfully complete these steps will make you extremly unfunny and, I can say this from personal experience, keep you far away from any social events.
Good luck.
