Nativity Play
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
The Nativity play is a curious concept. Although there have been many different scripts and performances, they all follow the same simple story line which is this. Some "Virgin" (I doubt it) Tart gives birth to a little boy in a barn somwhere in Israel. This same alleged virgin whos name by the by is Mary, managed to persuade a comfortable number of millions to believe her that she is in fact a virgin. I think that she may be a useful sales person. Now the baby that she gave birth to was named Jesus and he was apparently god's son (So now we find that god actually raped Mary in her sleep. The plot grows thicker) and so an evil king named Herod decided to kill all these little kids to get rid of Gods son. Jesus some how manages to escape and then gets nailed to a tree.
The play, when see in performance is usually acted by a bunch of 4-6 year olds and may seem a little bit tedious. To recognise the main characters in the play is moderatly simple. Firstly try to recognise the shepherds. These can be easily distinguished by the fact that they have tea-towels strapped to their heads. The 3 Wise men can be seen by the clothing of curtains around their shoulders. Mary is recognised by the doll that she drags about behind her and Herod wares a Burger King crown upon his head.
This, however, is not the only version of the script. Another, and i hope that I am not breaching copyright laws is one that I found in a Private Eye book named St Albion Parish News Book Two. It is a new, modern and relevant version of the traditional (yawn!) story by Rev. A.R.P. Blair (i.e.Tony Blair (Not really but it could be)):
And it came to pass in a certain country that all the people dwelt in darkness, and were told that they had to go unto their own cities, each one to cast his or her vote. And lo, ther was a typical couple- a single mother and a senior citizen who had lost his job under the wicked policies of the previous administration. And on the way to the polling booth, they saw a star shining up above them. "Look", said Mary. "It is a new dawn!" And Joseph said, "Things can only get better!"
Meanwhile, there were certain poor shepherds demonstating in the fields about the collapse in farm incomes. And suddenly an Angel came unto them.
"Behold," said the angel (or messenger), "I bring you great news. Not about your own situation exacltly, because farming incomes are lower down the list of priorities just now, but really glad tidings all the same. Peace process on earth. Goodwill to all men of violence. That's from the book of Semtex, chapter seven, verse eleven."
Meanwhile, our typical couplecame to an inn, looking for somewhere to spend the night.
"Sorry, "said the innkeeper. "All the rooms are booked. We've got delegation of tree rich buisnessmen who've coome from the Far East. In fact tey got out of the Far East just in time, and sensibly moved their money to the Deutche Bundesbak. Wise guys."
Any way, they had booked up all the rooms, so Mary and Joe were told they would have to sleep somewhere else. So, one the day before polling day, things were looking pretty bleak for the couple.
Meanwhile, the rich men had heard news of a "Saviour", and wanted to find him to give him their support. So they cam with their gifts of gold, gold and more gold because it was cheap at the time. And noticed, nobody kicked up a fuss about them making their donations to such a good cause, saying "Sorry, wise men,"- and they must have been wise to have become rich in the first place!- No one said "Sorry, wise men, take your money elsewhere, there's a conflict of interests here!" No way! As it says in the good book, "It is easier for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than a poor man". and talking of poor men, the shepherds wen to the polling booth as well to show their support. And the shepherds asked "What can we give, hamble, working class, agricultural folk as we are? We can't give him a lamb, because it's only worth 25p." And they were told they could something much more valuable. Their vote. Then they were told to get back to their sheep and stop complaining.
So, on the great day everyone gathered round for the big moment when the saviour would come and bring new hope for everybody. It was X-mas you see, the festival when you cast your X.
And what they find at the polling booth- in the creche that had been provided for mothers who needed to take their children to vote? THey found the message they had been waiting for! A book called "The Third Way" By Rev. A.R.P. Blair. You see, the "Third Way In A Manger"
If I have totally breached copyright laws in copying that, could someone please leave a conversation note.
If an editor reads it and thinks that I have breached copyright laws could you please delete the last bit that I copied. Or something
The play, when see in performance is usually acted by a bunch of 4-6 year olds and may seem a little bit tedious. To recognise the main characters in the play is moderatly simple. Firstly try to recognise the shepherds. These can be easily distinguished by the fact that they have tea-towels strapped to their heads. The 3 Wise men can be seen by the clothing of curtains around their shoulders. Mary is recognised by the doll that she drags about behind her and Herod wares a Burger King crown upon his head.
This, however, is not the only version of the script. Another, and i hope that I am not breaching copyright laws is one that I found in a Private Eye book named St Albion Parish News Book Two. It is a new, modern and relevant version of the traditional (yawn!) story by Rev. A.R.P. Blair (i.e.Tony Blair (Not really but it could be)):
And it came to pass in a certain country that all the people dwelt in darkness, and were told that they had to go unto their own cities, each one to cast his or her vote. And lo, ther was a typical couple- a single mother and a senior citizen who had lost his job under the wicked policies of the previous administration. And on the way to the polling booth, they saw a star shining up above them. "Look", said Mary. "It is a new dawn!" And Joseph said, "Things can only get better!"
Meanwhile, there were certain poor shepherds demonstating in the fields about the collapse in farm incomes. And suddenly an Angel came unto them.
"Behold," said the angel (or messenger), "I bring you great news. Not about your own situation exacltly, because farming incomes are lower down the list of priorities just now, but really glad tidings all the same. Peace process on earth. Goodwill to all men of violence. That's from the book of Semtex, chapter seven, verse eleven."
Meanwhile, our typical couplecame to an inn, looking for somewhere to spend the night.
"Sorry, "said the innkeeper. "All the rooms are booked. We've got delegation of tree rich buisnessmen who've coome from the Far East. In fact tey got out of the Far East just in time, and sensibly moved their money to the Deutche Bundesbak. Wise guys."
Any way, they had booked up all the rooms, so Mary and Joe were told they would have to sleep somewhere else. So, one the day before polling day, things were looking pretty bleak for the couple.
Meanwhile, the rich men had heard news of a "Saviour", and wanted to find him to give him their support. So they cam with their gifts of gold, gold and more gold because it was cheap at the time. And noticed, nobody kicked up a fuss about them making their donations to such a good cause, saying "Sorry, wise men,"- and they must have been wise to have become rich in the first place!- No one said "Sorry, wise men, take your money elsewhere, there's a conflict of interests here!" No way! As it says in the good book, "It is easier for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than a poor man". and talking of poor men, the shepherds wen to the polling booth as well to show their support. And the shepherds asked "What can we give, hamble, working class, agricultural folk as we are? We can't give him a lamb, because it's only worth 25p." And they were told they could something much more valuable. Their vote. Then they were told to get back to their sheep and stop complaining.
So, on the great day everyone gathered round for the big moment when the saviour would come and bring new hope for everybody. It was X-mas you see, the festival when you cast your X.
And what they find at the polling booth- in the creche that had been provided for mothers who needed to take their children to vote? THey found the message they had been waiting for! A book called "The Third Way" By Rev. A.R.P. Blair. You see, the "Third Way In A Manger"
If I have totally breached copyright laws in copying that, could someone please leave a conversation note.
If an editor reads it and thinks that I have breached copyright laws could you please delete the last bit that I copied. Or something
