How to SPAM!
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
How to SPAM!
This is a guide on the subject of SPAMing, but that doesn't mean that you should actually follow anything that is written below...not all guides are to be followed...especially if they go anywhere else than your fafourite pub.
(you can either copy this text or create your own irritating one):
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This is a SPAM!!! (some people write 'this is not a SPAM!' when it actually is, this is not a fair game to play so I have decided to tell you right away that this is a SPAM.)
If you are not at all convinced you should probably either go and get really drunk at a pub or send this letter to all your friends. This will clear any doubts you might be feeling about this letter! (if it makes you more comfortable you can do both by getting drunk first, then send it to your friends.)
If however you're still in doubt (which is very unlikely), you should join a mailing list. Then post this letter there. This way you will get access to any unwilling person who will very likely complain to whoever is responsible for the mailing list in question. That responsible person will then either tell you to stop SPAMing them or you will be shut of from the mailing list. That, I think, will be very reassuring to any normal person. If however you're not a normal person (which is very likely), and think that they are just playing around with you, you should get yourself very annoyed. This will cause your brain to think of all other things but what you're actually doing at the time. The result of this (often well practiced) procedure is (apart from making your jaw dropping down in a very peculiar way) this:
You will cause allot of happy people turn to very angry people.
This, some say, is a much more effective way than SPAMing. SPAMing is in fact also out there to annoy people. And it is much more appreciated by most people (and lawyers) getting annoyed than, o say, getting a pint of melted raspberry ice-cream poured all over your head.
So where has this got us?
The big question is should we annoy people by SPAMing them or should we annoy people by pouring melted raspberry ice-cream over their heads?
If you don't find it annoying get melted raspberry ice-cream all over your head, you probably already have melted raspberry ice-cream inside it. What you should do then is to tell a complete stranger (or a friend that is not a friend) to throw a handful of ducks at your left knee. This will (apart form hurting your left knee) make you (if not you then probably your wife) feel very annoyed, because duck can be very annoying when they are not thrown at your left (or any other you might have) knee, so when they are actually thrown at your left knee that can be a sign that you're soon going to be really pissed off.
This text is under copyright protection. You may however distribute it on the internet in anyway you like. I don't take any responsibility at all concerning this letter. Even if you laugh (which is not likely) I won't take any responsibility. I like ducks. When they are not on my left knee.
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For further information on SPAMing go to any Forum and ask what IE does in Windows...if that is not SPAMing then what is...
This is a guide on the subject of SPAMing, but that doesn't mean that you should actually follow anything that is written below...not all guides are to be followed...especially if they go anywhere else than your fafourite pub.
(you can either copy this text or create your own irritating one):
-----------------------
This is a SPAM!!! (some people write 'this is not a SPAM!' when it actually is, this is not a fair game to play so I have decided to tell you right away that this is a SPAM.)
If you are not at all convinced you should probably either go and get really drunk at a pub or send this letter to all your friends. This will clear any doubts you might be feeling about this letter! (if it makes you more comfortable you can do both by getting drunk first, then send it to your friends.)
If however you're still in doubt (which is very unlikely), you should join a mailing list. Then post this letter there. This way you will get access to any unwilling person who will very likely complain to whoever is responsible for the mailing list in question. That responsible person will then either tell you to stop SPAMing them or you will be shut of from the mailing list. That, I think, will be very reassuring to any normal person. If however you're not a normal person (which is very likely), and think that they are just playing around with you, you should get yourself very annoyed. This will cause your brain to think of all other things but what you're actually doing at the time. The result of this (often well practiced) procedure is (apart from making your jaw dropping down in a very peculiar way) this:
You will cause allot of happy people turn to very angry people.
This, some say, is a much more effective way than SPAMing. SPAMing is in fact also out there to annoy people. And it is much more appreciated by most people (and lawyers) getting annoyed than, o say, getting a pint of melted raspberry ice-cream poured all over your head.
So where has this got us?
The big question is should we annoy people by SPAMing them or should we annoy people by pouring melted raspberry ice-cream over their heads?
If you don't find it annoying get melted raspberry ice-cream all over your head, you probably already have melted raspberry ice-cream inside it. What you should do then is to tell a complete stranger (or a friend that is not a friend) to throw a handful of ducks at your left knee. This will (apart form hurting your left knee) make you (if not you then probably your wife) feel very annoyed, because duck can be very annoying when they are not thrown at your left (or any other you might have) knee, so when they are actually thrown at your left knee that can be a sign that you're soon going to be really pissed off.
This text is under copyright protection. You may however distribute it on the internet in anyway you like. I don't take any responsibility at all concerning this letter. Even if you laugh (which is not likely) I won't take any responsibility. I like ducks. When they are not on my left knee.
-----------------------
For further information on SPAMing go to any Forum and ask what IE does in Windows...if that is not SPAMing then what is...
