There is, however, one little know fact, which if more people were aware of, would explain many of he strange features of this garment, for example the way that the pockets can always be frayed, and have things falling out of them, without ever losing any of their contents².

The gem of wisdom is simply this: labs coats are in fact a bizarre alien species that have entered into a symbiotic relationship with the wearer: in exchange for providing protection from the environment, the coat feeds on the spilt copper sulphate, sodium permanganate, etc. that inevitably falls on them.

Lab coats appear to have entered this world through the interzones, and are one of the few species that have managed to do this and compete successfuly with the native fauna.

There is only one real effect of this knowledge³: I now know how important it is to give your lab coat a name⁴, and treat it with respect.


I hope that this entry in some way enhances world harmony, and reduces stress. And I apologise for wasting your time ;-)