The American Abroad Syndorme (United Kingdom Strain)
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Symptoms of the <b>American Abroad Syndrome (UK Strain)</B> usually sets in shortly after an American arrives in the United Kingdom and can take months to subside. Perhaps the most evident of these symptoms include the propensity to walk into oncoming vehicles with seemingly no regard for life or limb. This is due to the disorientation caused by the fact that the flow of <a href=http://www.h2g2.com/A68492>traffic</a> changed direction somewhere over the Atlantic. Unfortuantely for the victim, <b>American Abroad Syndrome</b> does not stop there. When asking for an explanation as to why the <a href=http://www.h2g2.com/A41194>bus</a> that nearly brought a premature end to his vacation was in the wrong lane, the American may well find himself unable to understand his own native language. Upon attempting a conversation with a loacl, he is frequently heard to exclaim, 'I thought these people were supposed to speak English. I can understand the guy who talks about sooty terns and bear reproduction on the Discovery Channel, but I couldn't make out a <a href=http://www.h2g2.com/A128152>word</a> that guy said.' or words to that effect. Another sure-fire way to detect an affected American is to look at his wallet. Unless empty, it is sure to have a £20 note or two jutting out as US wallets are not designed to hold the larger bills. Victims are also heard to bemoan the lack of suitable television channels and <a href=http://www.h2g2.com/A43714>bathrooms</a> in their hotel rooms.<p>There is no vaccination for <b>American Abroad Syndrome</b>, but some preparations can be made to decrease the severity of infection. One such safegaurd is to watch plenty of <a href=http://www.h2g2.com/A54307>BBC</a> reruns on PBS before making the journey. Additionaly, aquiring a taste for fatty bacon and <a href=http://www.h2g2.com/A3079>baked beans</a> is essential for truly enjoying an <a href=http://www.h2g2.com/A103177>English breakfast</a>, or just about any meal for that matter. Finally, investing in a roll of reflective tape and affixing it to the arms, legs, and back, will allow drivers greater visability of errant Americans wondering into the street, thus giving the motorist the option to aviod or strike the foriegn pedestrian. These measures will help an American hit the ground running, but it will take time and patience on the part of both the American and his British friends in order to defeat <b>The American Abroad Syndrome</b>.
