Physics Teachers
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
These must probably be the most dangerous carbon based life forms, coming in second only to insurance salesmen and maybe butlers. But I haven't ever heard ,"The Physics teacher did it!", but I have led a sheltered life so I might be wrong in according to the butlers a status greater than those wispy haired individuals,'the Physics Teachers'.
These hardy creatures can be usually identified by their thick spectecles, swept back wispy hair(although the actual number of physicists having any hair is so less as to suggest non existence but it would be fatal to assume so, that would be confusing the impossible with the highly improbable as Psmith would say), a glassy expression suggesting something akin to complete inertness and an inexplicable neatness which restricts itself to their writing, for in all other things they are notoriously untidy. (and yes some of them are german)
Another odd thing about them (is there an end?) is that they choose to be inspired by the most obtuse things they can lay their hands on(or not lay their hands on). They have revelations in their dreams or from apples, some of them even claim to have solved some archaic mystery with the help of their son's soccer ball!
But there is something about them that is unknown everyone except a select few who guard this secret with their very lives. Ever since the beginning of time (or from the time of Newton, whichever came first) they have waged a deadly war (when they are not ruminating on angular frequencies or the unified theory) on their most bitter enemies the 'Mathematicians'. For, ever since Newton who was a Mathematician who had an apple fall on his head and went on to seal the misery of all high school students, ever since then the physicists have been nursing wounds so deep that the passage of time have failed to heal them. Their latest champion and warrior hides his considerable skills in a motorised wheel chair.
But the less said about that the better.
So if you find a physicist approaching you and you are a mathematician ... run ... or hope that the butler is in.
These hardy creatures can be usually identified by their thick spectecles, swept back wispy hair(although the actual number of physicists having any hair is so less as to suggest non existence but it would be fatal to assume so, that would be confusing the impossible with the highly improbable as Psmith would say), a glassy expression suggesting something akin to complete inertness and an inexplicable neatness which restricts itself to their writing, for in all other things they are notoriously untidy. (and yes some of them are german)
Another odd thing about them (is there an end?) is that they choose to be inspired by the most obtuse things they can lay their hands on(or not lay their hands on). They have revelations in their dreams or from apples, some of them even claim to have solved some archaic mystery with the help of their son's soccer ball!
But there is something about them that is unknown everyone except a select few who guard this secret with their very lives. Ever since the beginning of time (or from the time of Newton, whichever came first) they have waged a deadly war (when they are not ruminating on angular frequencies or the unified theory) on their most bitter enemies the 'Mathematicians'. For, ever since Newton who was a Mathematician who had an apple fall on his head and went on to seal the misery of all high school students, ever since then the physicists have been nursing wounds so deep that the passage of time have failed to heal them. Their latest champion and warrior hides his considerable skills in a motorised wheel chair.
But the less said about that the better.
So if you find a physicist approaching you and you are a mathematician ... run ... or hope that the butler is in.
