Haircut
Created | Updated Sep 21, 2005
Getting a haircut is the easiest thing in the universe. Listen. You need two things: a hairdresser and a pair of scissors. Now, both parts are important so don’t try to replace a scissors with a hairdresser (two hairdressers will just go off to the nearest pub and get drunk) and a hairdresser with a scissors (two pairs of scissors won’t cut by themselves even if their number is doubled again).
At this point most of the people know what haircut they want or at least what haircut they don’t want. Don’t even think of getting what you want or don’t want. You can always imagine what you want. You can always look at somebody and say “Look at this! My God, poor fellow, I wouldn’t wish such a thing to my enemies.” And that would be what you don’t want. You can see it, you can imagine it.
What most people don’t know is that HPC (Haircut you wanted Probability Coefficient) is one of the most bizarre variables in the modern mathematics and is in fact believed by many bright minds out there to be quite an improbable number. It measures a probability of getting a haircut you wanted. The highest value of the HPC that has been artificially reached was in the laboratories during an experiment set-up with an extremely powerful computer and an android client. It was 1 to 5 to the power of 604,437,377,103. Even higher values are easily reached by carbon-based life forms every day. Long story short you will never get the haircut you wanted!
As big, baffling and spontaneous are the values of HPC, so are all the constants and variables that are used and invented every day by scientists all over the world to describe this phenomenon. Many complicated formulas have been created involving the age and mood of the hairdresser, the weather and other important factors. It was proven that data provided by the client doesn’t influence the result at all and therefore in all the calculations and formulas and by all the hairdressers it has been regarded as a constant – 1. First it was thought to be 0 but as long as some information was provided it was made 1. The amount of education the hairdresser received is a very important variable both for the calculation of HPC and for all the Haircut Physics in general. The greater is the value of EHR the greater the value of HPC becomes. (For deeper look into the Haircut Physics contact the nearest Hairdresser Research Institute.)
Well, to summarize, and as I may have already mentioned, you won’t get the haircut you wanted! You can just come and say cut. You can come and waste half an hour explaining what haircut do you want. The result will be as you may have guessed from the HPC values and itro into the Haircut Physics in both cases unimaginable and chances of getting what you came for will be improbable. Brace yourself and good luck!
Note: reducing the HPC to the value of 1 to 5 is believed to be an achievement at the scale of creating a frictionless surface and massive preparations are already being made for the great party to take place on that great day.
At this point most of the people know what haircut they want or at least what haircut they don’t want. Don’t even think of getting what you want or don’t want. You can always imagine what you want. You can always look at somebody and say “Look at this! My God, poor fellow, I wouldn’t wish such a thing to my enemies.” And that would be what you don’t want. You can see it, you can imagine it.
What most people don’t know is that HPC (Haircut you wanted Probability Coefficient) is one of the most bizarre variables in the modern mathematics and is in fact believed by many bright minds out there to be quite an improbable number. It measures a probability of getting a haircut you wanted. The highest value of the HPC that has been artificially reached was in the laboratories during an experiment set-up with an extremely powerful computer and an android client. It was 1 to 5 to the power of 604,437,377,103. Even higher values are easily reached by carbon-based life forms every day. Long story short you will never get the haircut you wanted!
As big, baffling and spontaneous are the values of HPC, so are all the constants and variables that are used and invented every day by scientists all over the world to describe this phenomenon. Many complicated formulas have been created involving the age and mood of the hairdresser, the weather and other important factors. It was proven that data provided by the client doesn’t influence the result at all and therefore in all the calculations and formulas and by all the hairdressers it has been regarded as a constant – 1. First it was thought to be 0 but as long as some information was provided it was made 1. The amount of education the hairdresser received is a very important variable both for the calculation of HPC and for all the Haircut Physics in general. The greater is the value of EHR the greater the value of HPC becomes. (For deeper look into the Haircut Physics contact the nearest Hairdresser Research Institute.)
Well, to summarize, and as I may have already mentioned, you won’t get the haircut you wanted! You can just come and say cut. You can come and waste half an hour explaining what haircut do you want. The result will be as you may have guessed from the HPC values and itro into the Haircut Physics in both cases unimaginable and chances of getting what you came for will be improbable. Brace yourself and good luck!
Note: reducing the HPC to the value of 1 to 5 is believed to be an achievement at the scale of creating a frictionless surface and massive preparations are already being made for the great party to take place on that great day.
