The Great Pay Toilet Conspiracy
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
A new species has been breeding willy-nilly all around Europe. The pay toilet ("loo", "can", "potty", "chamber pot", etc) has become a common item in restaurants, and hotels everywhere.
Firstly, it is an outright travesty to make decent, hard working folks PAY to relieve themselves! Can't anyone use the John anymore in Europe without bringing their wallet?
But what could anyone GAIN by implementing the "coinage can"?
Money. Right. I read your mind, didn't I? Yup, sure did. No, really, I did. Seriously! Fine then. Don't believe me. I don't have feelings too...
Anyhow, other than money, what else could you get from making people pay to poop?
DNA, that's what. Humans lose extreme amounts of skin per day, much of it on paper money and coins. Let's say, you're an escaped con, or an aspiring one. Pay to use a toilet, and BOOM! A SWAT team is on you before you can zip up.
But it is also used for identification. What if you become a con. Compare DNA from the potty to the DNA at the crime scene.
So friends, I urge you. Please, be wary of your relieving place of choice. The next poop you take could be your last in freedom.
Firstly, it is an outright travesty to make decent, hard working folks PAY to relieve themselves! Can't anyone use the John anymore in Europe without bringing their wallet?
But what could anyone GAIN by implementing the "coinage can"?
Money. Right. I read your mind, didn't I? Yup, sure did. No, really, I did. Seriously! Fine then. Don't believe me. I don't have feelings too...
Anyhow, other than money, what else could you get from making people pay to poop?
DNA, that's what. Humans lose extreme amounts of skin per day, much of it on paper money and coins. Let's say, you're an escaped con, or an aspiring one. Pay to use a toilet, and BOOM! A SWAT team is on you before you can zip up.
But it is also used for identification. What if you become a con. Compare DNA from the potty to the DNA at the crime scene.
So friends, I urge you. Please, be wary of your relieving place of choice. The next poop you take could be your last in freedom.
