I've been forced to go to a party with a group of my friends and a group of forty year olds in the same room. "It could be a bit of fun," I said. I look over to the older section of the party, who have safely secured their position by the CD player. It appears that we are up for a night of The Eagles and Bob Seger, which is fine (admittedly I can think of better things to listen to, but nonetheless), but why do they have to make such a big deal about it?<p>
As the opening strains of <i>Night Moves</i> force themselves into my eardrum, I notice one of them is moving towards me… he's trying to communicate! "Now this is real music." He says as a general expression. Just to make sure that I don't think that the music is a fraud, the reason-for-alcoholics-anonymous incarnate comes at me again, repeating himself in question form directed at me: "How do you feel about hearing some real music?".<p>
Righto. So this is going to be one of those generational gap parties, is it? Fine then. Allow me to explain the concept behind the generational gap party. A group of people who were teenagers in one decade (usually the 60's, 70's or 80's) go up against the youth of today in a battle of the hit parades that, while lacking in excitement, often ends up in (mock) injury for both parties and a total dissolution of the basic concepts of "humour" (ie that a joke should be funny). Play the music of one side, for example, the youth might play some Marilyn Manson, and the old people will claw at their ears in (mock) pain (and mock humour). The same goes vice-versa if A) The Rolling Stones, B) Led Zepplin or C) Def Leppard are played. If you do the "ear claw", and think it's funny, please, I beg of you, stop, assess the risk to your credibility as a "funny person" and make the changes.<p>
Anyway, where was I before I got all sidetracked on explaining? Oh, yeah; the party <i>will</i> actually continue in a backwards and forwards fashion beween "now" music and "then" music, in an attempt to prove that one decade is superior to another. "Ear Clawing" will inevitably occur. Time will begin moving as slowly as a new Gary Numan album moves up the charts. While everything is a blur, due to the time distortion, two groups will unconsciously merge together. Little arguments about cultural differences between generations in the arenas of film, TV and other mass media, along with music have been erupting while the blur occured. These arguments have acted as a social lubricant* and as a result, everybody has gotten to know each other a little better and the uncomfortablity (Although, as with any party that includes people of middle age or older, there will be one antisocial woman who stands in the corner with her glass of cask wine. If you see a person like this at your "Gap" party, approach them and ask how long ago they were an arts student at University. Chances are good that it was a fair while ago, but they still haven't got away from the feeling that they need to look "stoned" all the time). Social interaction is now taking place! And, dare I say it, I am having fun!<p>
The reason for my having fun is that I am very, very drunk. This is necessary to fully appreciate the "Generational Gap" party. Believe me, I've tried it cold sober. It's far worse <i>and</i> you remember it the next morning. If you are one of the "youth" like me: drink! You may well come to appreciate the effect that songs like <i>American Pie</i> and anything else from a "Greatest Drinking Songs" CD have on people. You'll find yourself singing, swaying and laughing like a twelve year old at an <i>Aqua</i> concert. Just remember to keep yourself drunk, or you may well realise what you are doing and attempt to kill yourself. This is very important: <b>Do NOT kill yourself.</b><p>
Instead, drink and relax! Garth Brooks will be on next to settle all your fears! (Actually, if you have a balcony and some rope handy, then I won't stop you...)
*: <b>Social Lubricant</b> A person or event which makes way for increased interaction in a group of humans.