Driving through the thriving downtown shopping district of an affluent and rather stuffy Ontario community the other day, a thought struck me: 'Who are the Anarchists, anyway?'. Usually, we think of woolly-haired protestors who throw garbage cans through shop windows at WTO meetings or pimply kids with skateboards who scrawl the familiar anarchy symbol on walls to prove that they are individuals... just like all their friends.

Well, as I slowly and carefully picked my way through the maze of illegally parked BMW and Mercedes SUVs, it struck me that the real Anarchists aren't the young people protesting the hijacking of democracy or the kids who are doing exactly what kids are supposed to do, however dim witted.

They are (some of them, at least) those very trophy wives and debutante daughters, who flagrantly disregard the rules of the road and our ancient culture of sensibly parking near the curb. They are their slick and polished husbands and fathers, the purveyors and purchasers of SUVs and Rolex watches. They are the people who invest in and manage the corporations which take our jobs away and give them to slaves in the third world so that we can still afford to buy the things we used to make.

They undermine our wages and our job security in the name of freedom and trick us into tying our future security to the pillaging of the 'developing' world by investing on the stock market.

They are the real Anarchists, because they are not merely allowing the wheels to fall off our world; they are strenuously engaged in pulling the wheels off in order to build more BMW and Mercedes SUVs to park randomly in thriving and affluent shopping districts... and to hell with common law, common courtesy, the rule of law, or the rules of the road. In fact, to hell with everyone and everything else.

Anarchists are people who want the world of rules and order to fall apart so that they can make SUVs with the pieces. I'm not an Anarchist and neither are the spotty kids who write on walls. The real Anarchists are the people who ruin the emerging enterprises of poor countries and put murdering despots in charge of the wreckage in the name of democracy, who tell you black is white and bomb you in the name of peace.

They are Anarchists because they don't really believe in anything more sophisticated than their ability to tear more meat from the carcass. Their beautiful, long-legged daughters may have the best breasts money can buy - no wonder old fashioned family doctors are so hard to find! But the steam for their mocha-lattes is squeezed from the brows of the desperately poor, who live their short and anonymous lives on the wrong side of the security fences that have been built in the middle of their farms.

Saddam? Well, he's just one of a long list of nasty and greedy men who have outlasted their usefulness. George, Osama, Conrad... there's no real difference between any of them. They are all willing to set the world on fire just to see the flames. Just look at the record. If that's not Anarchy, what is?

... not a kid with a paint can, surely.