Newspapers are indisputably a powerful form of media. They are nothing more than an extremely fragile and short-lived bundle of tissue paper plastered with annoyingly soluble ink (notice the attempted con: in the usual early-morning state it's quite likely that one will spill one's tea all over the breakfast paper, whereupon the text will instantly dissolve into a murky puddle on the table. The blatantly obvious mistake the newspaper companies make is in thinking that the response will be to buy another.) However, they manage to reach millions despite this.

The problem, though, lies in the structure of newspapers. Whatever your politics, your intelligence makes the first choice: broadsheet or tabloid? Unless you are contemplating wrestling with the spelling errors of your local newspaper, probably broadsheet. Hopefully.

Now, if you're given to wearing red ties and striking a lot, the Guardian is most likely the paper for you (or in extreme cases, the Socialist Worker). If, on the other hand, you like huntin', shootin', and inter-party tribal warfare, (slight exaggerations there) then try the Times.

After you have bought your newspaper, the usual practise is to read it - excepting the Financial Times, which you pretend to read or fall asleep under. The flaw becomes obvious.

You, by this time, must have been swayed by my criticisms and are now reading a broadsheet. As you unfold it, finish the first page and turn over the irritation begins. If you are my size, at least, you cannot hope to read the paper and hold it at the same time; hold it too far away and it merely collapses into a crumpled heap of irretrievably damaged tissue; hold it comfortably, and your nose meets the text. Lying it on the table is now the only option – which is usually followed by curses and hasty attempts to scrape the marmalade off the back.

So, either you are forced to read garbage, or you are forced to grapple with a broadsheet. It is interesting to note how page width somehow psychologically affects the writer’s brain and compels them to write in postcard language to fit articles on the sheet, and how broadsheets can only be efficiently read by the big or by those who have the manual dexterity to manoeuvre them (which are mostly those who cannot understand them, I would say from my biased standpoint).