h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Mog] I, for one, am in support on principle of messing around with the space-time continuum just to see if you can.

Which is exactly why all rental payments ($0.01/year U.S.) are placed directly into a high interest savings account, retrieved in the year 2109 (just before the global collapse of the banking system) and returned via time machine (picked up cheap in one of these very same pocket dimensions -- specifically one where Capitalism collapsed in 1907 and no one living in the present remembers what "money" was) to a couple of years ago. That way I get the benefit of interest and inflation now, rather than having to wait... of course, I suppose it's possible that my withdrawls are *causing* the collapse of the global banking system in 2110, but that's beside the point.

*head spins at the complexity of Irv's financial plans*

IIEM, a -

[IIEM]: Vanilla latte, coming right up!

IIEM, I need a little extra help getting going this morning. Double Shot in the Dark please?

[IIEM]: One cup of black coffee with 2 shots of espresso, coming right up!

Can you add a dash of Cayenne to that? Make it a Hot-Shot in the Dark.

[Mog] Is there a version of that for artificial intelligences? It'd be a Bot Hot Shot in the Dark ...

Or maybe a little organic fungal halucinogen. An Ergot Bot Hot Shot in the Dark.

Rhymes even better if said with a Boston accent:

Ergaht Baht Haht Shaht in the Dahk

*eyes the IIEM suspiciously* What have you really put in the coffee?

*wonders if IIEM can produce coldrex or such*

I'm sure that if it can't, it'll at least make "something almost, but not quite, entirely unlike coldrex"...

IIEM, while you ponder on flu remedies, could I pls have a deep, dark Italian double espresso?

*IIEM brews a very strong, oddly philisophical demi-tasse for SGV*

Now, a machine that gives you everything you say you won't - and then not. I hope you are offering your abilities to the IPR department for this thing!

*Tapdances*

Affy, are you trying to communicate with the IIEM in Morse Code?

[Mog] That, or by satire.

*Blinks*

It's called tapdancing.

Seriously, you two need to brush up on your pop culture if you can't recognize it. Go check out a Broadway musical or something. Heck, go rent Singin' In The Rain, and pay special attention to the "Fit as a Fiddle," "Moses Supposes," "Good Morning," and "Broadway Melody" numbers.

If you're still confused about tap dancing after that, I can explain further.

[Mog] Don't look at me, I was just running with what Irv posted.

I was wondering why you were tapdancing, Affy. The first explanation that jumped to mind was an elaborate form of communication.

Well, I don't know if I'd call it elaborate, but I suppose it was a method of expressing the general feeling of joy and optimism welling through my soul.

My question, though, is this: why do you question my motives for tapdancing, but never ask why I carry a sword with me?

Because we are so used to seeing you with a sword, but not so used to seeing you tapdancing?

IIEM! Thank you... *sips vanilla latte*