San Francisco

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San Francisco is a delightful cit that any traveller (interstellar or otherwise) should visit at least once. Also known as the "City by the bay", it is home to such distinguished landmarks as the "Golden Gate" bridge, "Coit Tower", Alcatraz, and of course those adorable cable cars.
Yet, as any hitchhiker knows, truly useful information is not a mere list of attractions, rather a guide to the things you should be aware of or avoid. So here it is:

If you decide to visit Pier 39 along with the millions of tourists, be aware that the "clam" chowder may not actually be "clam" chowder.
When dispensing donations to the homeless,(provided mayor Brown's plan is approved) remember that besides the old fashioned paper, plastic is also a viable, if not preferred method of payment.
The public transportation system is known as "Muni". This word may come in handy as a popular party joke, or to talk one's way out of a mess. However, do NOT rely on it for transportation. (Suggestion: hitchhike!)
Although San Francisco is famous for being an eclectic, multi cultural city, keep in mind that the inhabitants of the various districts are not automated displays, but actual people and as such, often irritable. Therefore, excercise caution and try not to make yourself obvious as a tourist.
If you do decide to ride the muni, you must know the danger of the "empty" seat. Example: a non-native boards a muni vehicle. It is crowded, yet there is one seat available. He or she takes the seat. A San Franciscan is confronted with above said situation. He or she does NOT take the seat, knowing full well that either:
a. A homeless man has pleasured himself while
previously occupying the seat
b. There is some other damn good reason not to take
the only available seat on a crowded bus.
The word "Frisco" is a sure indication that you are not a native.
The phrase "I'm a Republican" is equally frowned upon.

There you have it. Understanding the above stated guidelines, your experience of San Francisco should be a pleasant one. Happy hitchhiking!

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