Crazy happennings in the life of Drake Smaltings
Created | Updated Feb 6, 2006
Chapter 1
An introduction to the life of Drake Smaltings
Drake Smaltings was an ordinary guy living in June the Seventeenth, nothing interesting was happening at seven thirty the alarm on his clock went off. He pushed the snooze button, at the end of his extra five minutes he got up and brushed his teeth. Then he went downstairs and ate a bowl of serial. Then he got in a car and went to his occupation. At three thirty he walked to the sidewalk where the car was waiting and got in. he then went home and did various things. At nine he brushed his teeth and went to sleep.
Chapter 2
The Car
It was June Seventeenth, the alarm went off in Drake Smaltings bedroom. He pushed it off the bedside table. Then he got up and put on his jeans. On the way out of the house he grabbed a banana and a cup of coffee. Then he walked across the street and bought a hammer. On the way out of the store he put a pack of gum in his pocket. Then he crossed the street again, but this time a car came careening around the corner and ran him over. There was then a small funeral and he was buried in the local cemetery.
Chapter 3
A penny
it was June Seventeenth, Drake Smaltings got out of bed and brushed his teeth, he then rinsed his mouth with mouthwash. He then went downstairs and ate some eggs and toast. He then got in his fancy car and drove to work. He stopped at a gas station to fill up his tank and get a case of pens; while he was paying he took a penny from the tray and didn’t use it. He then got back in his car and drove to work at a huge sky scraper. He got out of his car and walked to the entrance and stopped to talk with a colleague. Someone threw a penny off the top of the sky scraper, it flew down and went threw him, he was dead instantly. Later that month there was a huge funeral with lots of alcohol and weeping.
It was June Seventeenth; Drake Smaltings was rudely awakened by an alarm going off somewhere down the street. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock. It was four in the morning. Grumbling to himself he looked out the window just in time to see a police car screech to a halt by the door to his building. As he was trying to get asleep again there was a bang on the door then another and the door burst its hinges flying across the room. There was a shot, a gas tank exploded and the whole building went up in flames. Drake Smaltings was never recovered.
Chapter 4
Dogs
It was February 19th; a day which Drake Smaltings always dreaded, for it never went his way. He was awoken by barking, as was normal in his shabby, thin-walled apartment, surrounded by lovers of all things K-9. After a moment he stood up and went into the bathroom. After taking a piss and taking a look at himself in the mirror he stumbled back into the bedroom. After dressing hastily he stumbled out the door and tripped over his neighbor’s little terrier. He stood and gave it a good kick. As the dog ran, yelping away Drake lit up and took a long drag at his cigarette. No stupid dog would ruin his day. As he approached the stairs down from his floor he tripped again on a chew toy. After several seconds of falling he was met by the wall at the bottom of the stairs. After a brief argument with his new acquaintance Drake stumbled to his feet, only to be met by a large pack of dogs. Many of the owners wondered at their dog’s new favorite bones, but none suspected the truth, and neither did the police.
More chapters to be added
