I Want My MTV

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Friends, Americans, countrymen, lend me your ears. I come not to praise MTV, but to bury it. Yes, yes, I know this may seem sacrilegious to some, but take a moment to ponder the effects this seemingly harmless bastion of boppers really has.

Firstly, MTV has been almost singularly responsible for the rise of the "focus group" bands; they are touting and promoting so-called musicians who were picked almost exclusively for their appearance. They haven't spent years as a garage band, never played house parties, and certainly have not honed their own musical vision. Their achievements, if any, are few. What they have managed to do is to package a look, a sound, and a lunchbox license together for the ultimate appeal in our marketing based society. MTV began as an invention for young people to hear and enjoy their own music- "I want my MTV" is maybe the second most remembered catch phrase from the eighties behind "where's the beef?" But does this music really represent us? As it stands, our popular representation in music history from this era may leave us forever connected to Backstreet Boys, The Spice Girls, and Brittany Spears. Does that leave a bad taste in your mouth? How about Jennifer Lopez, Hanson, and N'sync?

Alright, I'll stop the pain. The real point about these groups is that while their target audience may be females under twelve, this demographic is getting their heartthrob jollies on a station meant clearly for adults, (or at least immature teenagers) while they should be getting their fix on Nickelodeon. MTV clearly angles for the younger viewer; after all, these assorted boy groups are more often seen NOT performing their music on MTV than performing it. In realizing that it is this kind of exposure that attracts the younger set to the station, MTV has kindly obliged by implementing a policy of NEVER PLAYING VIDEOS (or if they do about thirty seconds of it). While this is regrettable, one cannot really fault MTV for this, as they are a business, in it to make money. But the problem is that when America's tykes turns on the tube, they believe they are stepping vicariously into the teenage experience. They may tune into MTV to see, ahem, Jordan Knight (sorry), but all too often they are slapped in the face by the swollen member of MTV's sexual deval-u-thon. Of course I must differentiate between the use of attractive women in bikinis and the more blatantly sexual material that is as often seen. The former case may cause self image problems for girls and objectify women for men, but that is a problem that goes far beyond MTV, who as such should not be held accountable. But as an example of the more desensitizing accounts of young life that MTV portrays I give you the mythical Spring break extravaganza, of which MTV has masterfully expanded its coverage, now bringing you debauchery in the sun from February to August. What medieval calendar they use to justify such an extended interpretation of spring, I don't know, but they seem willing to invent just about anything for more coverage of women with little or no coverage. And it is hardly possible to refute what MTV is after when they stop along the beach to show a wet T-shirt contest that ferments into a wet body contest. Of course all of these goings on were shown on camera, but somehow this is supposed to be alright because of our friend Mr. Fuzz. You all know Mr. Fuzz; he was perfected by Jerry Springer so as not to put the nation off its lunch when three-hundred pound strippers um, have a coming out party for their dress. MTV has taken things one step further. They had the gall to show one of these female wet body contestants sprawled out on the stage, spread eagle enough so that onlookers could likely see her kidneys, as she worked herself with some sort of blunt object. All over America frat guys were probably drinking beer and slapping five. To them I say: ORDER SPICE! Because apart from these scattered drunken testosterone lairs, whose minds have long since been corrupted, MTV's younger, recently graduated 98degree fans are getting the idea that this kind of hedonistic excess is how one should behave when they reach our age.

MTV's obvious product placement, corporate pandering, and even their unexplained reverence for the likes of Ben Stiller and Jeanine Garafolo I can stomach, but their contribution towards eroding the real meaning of sexual intimacy truly sickens me. It leaves one to wonder exactly how much our own generation's sexual ethics were tainted by such programs as the Real Orgy- I mean the Real World. I am afraid that I must contest that this is NOT the real world, but a contrived set of circumstances for one of our newly guiltless pleasures, voyeurism. The only thing "real" about it is that their promiscuity and general unpleasantness towards each other seems to make them nice and miserable, just like real life. If viewers of "Real World" and its clones were to apply the same rhetoric they were freely spouting coming out of screenings of "The Truman Show", they might realize there are precious few differences between the two, that both are examples of viewers hurting the viewed, and the viewed hurting the viewer.

So what then is the effect this constant barrage of malformed sexuality on MTV has had on us and will have on the next generation? All together now: SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION! Perhaps you the reader have been a lucky soul, perhaps you have not been overly exposed to the influences of popular culture, or were not traumatized as a child, but these are the lucky few. In this day and time, most of us have had some sort of experience with a significant other in which false pretenses, disrespect, objectification, and the scars of previous painful relationships have prevented the couple from being able to achieve a meaningful connection. In our "hook up" society, we drift aimlessly from one person to another, believing the ultimate in love to be achievable through the isolated sexual encounter. Doubtless this drive is contained somewhere in our genetic code, our animalistic nature, but as we strive to control many of our other destructive instincts, we must remember to take stock of the net effect our disconnection with true love has brought. We must separate in our own minds the animalistic desire to screw and the sacred gift we have been given of love and sex. Divorce is at an all time high, relationships are increasingly transitory, and we encourage promiscuous behavior in others perhaps more than in ourselves, believing that the more obtrusive others become, the better we look in comparison.

Of course MTV is not solely responsible. Our entire culture, particularly the media aspect of it, has been pushing us in this direction for many years now. But in MTV we see an institution that holds more capacity for poisoning the souls of our siblings, and soon our children, than perhaps any other entity. Because they have worked to expand their viewer demographics to include very young children, who see their programming as a kind of guide to adolescence, MTV is more dangerous now than ever before. MTV used to be about music, but this is hardly true today. What little music they do allow, to keep up pretenses, they likely have as much influence on as the artist themselves. MTV was made by music. Music should not be made by MTV. MTV has become quite skilled at making money. They are not going to go away. The only recourse we may have is to reject it, to hit MTV the only place it is sensitive anymore, the bottom line. In short, we must ignore it. We must avoid the products that it endorses, the muzak it pushes on us. We must inundate them with e-mail, get on the air and complain, and in general take MTV's screw everybody attitude and turn it around on them. Perhaps if we can other media outlets will take note. Perhaps we can achieve what every one of the misdirected MTV generation has been frantically searching for, love


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