Toddler Velocity

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A distant relation of bistro mathematics, toddler velocity refers to the varying integer assigned to the speed with which small children perform different tasks. Toddler velocity ranges from the “bedtime crawl” (the value of which is so low as to be practically negative) to “chocolate induced overdrive” (which has such an incredibly high value that it is frequently used in calculations where it is necessary to exceed the speed of light).

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