My problem with alcohol bashers
Created | Updated Nov 16, 2006
Let's get this sorted right now.
I like a drink. I enjoy going out with my friends on a friday night, drinking twice my own body weight in alcoholic drinks, then passing out shortly befor noon the following day.
What I don't like is the judgemental pain-in-the-necks who try to tell me about the evils of alcohol.
Some are worse than others. I don't so much mind the reformed alcoholics, people whose life sucked while they were drinking, and now sucks even more because they can't have a drink, lest their liver jumps up their throat and strangles their brain [or something like that].
The one's that get my goat are the people who have never imbibed in their life. I hear these people say things that boggle the mind;
'You'll regret it in the morning!'
'This is why society is in such a state these days!'
'So many fights, all through alcohol!'
...And suchlike.
First off, I WON'T regret it in the morning! If I regretted it, I wouldn't do it every week!
Secondly, is society in a state? If it is, don't you think it may have more to do with the guns, bombs, knives and cardigans of the world? About three hundred or so years ago, some people in Spain tried to educate their populous about religion, via the use of an experimental body lengthening device. We have since become a slight bit more civilised, and now settle religious debate via the aforementioned guns, bombs, knives and cardigans!
Thirdly, yes there are fights, and yes, some of them are influenced by alcohol. However, perfectly sober people fight each other as well. When people are drunk, they lose coordination. This means that most of their blows miss. This in turn means that alcohol has a pacifying effect, as the drunk will lose interest when he realises that he's hitting the wrong person out of the three he can see. They also become very emotional, and, left to their own devices, will come crying back to their mate who they were trying to hit, pledging their undying love, before passing out in a satisfied stupor.
So bring on the beers and spirits, and the rest of you can clean up the mess!
CHEERS!
Two Postscripts.
1) Only joking. Drink in moderation.
2) There is no excuse for a bloke drinking Malibu.
I like a drink. I enjoy going out with my friends on a friday night, drinking twice my own body weight in alcoholic drinks, then passing out shortly befor noon the following day.
What I don't like is the judgemental pain-in-the-necks who try to tell me about the evils of alcohol.
Some are worse than others. I don't so much mind the reformed alcoholics, people whose life sucked while they were drinking, and now sucks even more because they can't have a drink, lest their liver jumps up their throat and strangles their brain [or something like that].
The one's that get my goat are the people who have never imbibed in their life. I hear these people say things that boggle the mind;
'You'll regret it in the morning!'
'This is why society is in such a state these days!'
'So many fights, all through alcohol!'
...And suchlike.
First off, I WON'T regret it in the morning! If I regretted it, I wouldn't do it every week!
Secondly, is society in a state? If it is, don't you think it may have more to do with the guns, bombs, knives and cardigans of the world? About three hundred or so years ago, some people in Spain tried to educate their populous about religion, via the use of an experimental body lengthening device. We have since become a slight bit more civilised, and now settle religious debate via the aforementioned guns, bombs, knives and cardigans!
Thirdly, yes there are fights, and yes, some of them are influenced by alcohol. However, perfectly sober people fight each other as well. When people are drunk, they lose coordination. This means that most of their blows miss. This in turn means that alcohol has a pacifying effect, as the drunk will lose interest when he realises that he's hitting the wrong person out of the three he can see. They also become very emotional, and, left to their own devices, will come crying back to their mate who they were trying to hit, pledging their undying love, before passing out in a satisfied stupor.
So bring on the beers and spirits, and the rest of you can clean up the mess!
CHEERS!
Two Postscripts.
1) Only joking. Drink in moderation.
2) There is no excuse for a bloke drinking Malibu.
