This entry does exactly what It says on the tin. It, should, hopefully, stop you from getting beaten up in Cork.

The Rules

Lets start

1. Never say you enjoy a good shower of rain
2. Never skip a queue
3. Never say you hate hurling.
4. Never avoid talking about hurling.
5. Never answer a question with "Yes" or "No" but always with a verb. Example "Do you have the book" "I don't have it"
6. Never say anything derogatory about a pint of Murphy.
7. Never say "Crisps". Always ask for "Taytos". We don't like "Crisps".
8. Avoid Mayfield in Cork city.
9. Avoid Mayfield. Cannot overstate that.
10. Never call anyone a "prat", instead use the word "langer"
11. Actually scratch that last one... never insult anyone.
12. Never make a "Your Mother" joke.
13. If in North Cork... never say your from Rathmore.
14. If in West Cork never say your from Kerry.
15. If in Southern Cork never say you like the sea.
16. If your in Cork city... never say your from Cork county.
17. Never say "Fine Colleen"
18. Never say "Sláinte"
19. Never say the word "Super" to describe anything
20. Never say the Pogues suck.
21. Never say "God, I love my job"
22. Never elbow yourself to the front of a pub counter.
23. Avoid Mayfield.
24. Avoid the whole area of "Work"
25. Never say you hate Roy Keane
26. Never say you like Mick McCarthy
27. Mention the fact that Cork City should be the capital city of Ireland
28. Never say Munster are the luckiest rugby team alive
29. Ask about what the hell cork actually did when it was the European capital of culture... and your straying into dangerous territory.
30. Never looked scared and confused.
31. Don't say "No I don't feel like some tea".
32. Say you enjoy the colors red and white.
33. If you still find yourself in a dicey situation, this is because you haven't followed my rules, shout out "Oh too, Oh too be, Oh too be a Rebel"¹ at your assailants.

Remeber... follow the rules!!!