Removing Teeth From Small Children (UG)

2 Conversations

Official UnderGuide Entry

The other month, when the youngest of my sisters started talking about her new loose tooth, I realised how horribly long it's been since I've pulled someone's tooth out, and how sad this made me. Before you go "Ooookay..." and inch away singing "You'll Be A Dentist", hear me out.

Pulling out my siblings' teeth used to be the highlight of my day, literally. Somehow, they got to the stage where they were losing teeth left and right within about two weeks of each other. And, since at that point they still trusted me, it fell to me to make sure that their teeth fell out before they got loose enough that they started worrying about choking on them in their sleep.

Well, as is the way in the Haven House for Wayward Teens, things soon got out of hand. It got to the point that every night I would be asked to pull anywhere from one to, in one case, seven teeth. Only in our house would the rule "no tooth-pulling after bedtime" have to be made. My brother ended up looking like a hockey player for about a month, and the older of my two younger sisters was almost as bad.

The method was1 this:

  • Acquire one roll of paper towels2 and a small, willing (stupid) child, loose tooth optional. Convince him or her that there is indeed a loose tooth in his/her mouth.
  • If you're feeling creative, you can involve fun things like tweezers, shoelaces or wrenches. One of my particular favorites was always duct tape.
  • Find a tooth you don't particularly like, doesn't matter which one, and clamp onto it with the paper towel. Instruct the child to smack you when it starts hurting.
  • Pull. Stop after a bit3. Let the child breathe. Then pull again. Eventually the tooth'll come out, and the child can then approach the aforementioned parental unit and ask for money.

Then you charge 'em a 50% commission.

1And, I'm quite sure, still is.2Or toilet paper if insert parental unit here won't let you get the paper towels.3Ignore the child when he/she smacks you; it probably doesn't hurt anyway.

Bookmark on your Personal Space



Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry

Categorised In:

Written by

Edited by

h2g2 Editors


h2g2 Entries


h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more