Whatchamacallits, Hooziwhatsits, and Thingymabobs
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Long ignored in vocabulary reference materials such as dictionaries and the like, these important words hold great significance to the common hitchhiker. While typically considered pronouns as in, "Give me my thingymabob!" and "Where is the hooziwhatsit?" these words can occasionally be used as substitutes for other parts of speech as well. For example, "Would you like to Hooziwhatsit?" and "She has a very whatchamacallit towel." Some would assume these words are completely interchangable, but that is not however the case.
Whatchamacallit can be used to subsitute any noun, verb, pronoun, adjective, adverb, and indeed any other part of speech for that matter. Being the most versastile, this is also the least specifically descriptive. When attempting to determine what it is being used to substitute, contextual clues, and grammarical use are of extreme importance.
Hooziwhatsit is second only to whatchamacallit in versatility. While more typically used in place of nouns, it is rarely used for verbs and almost never for other parts of speech. This grants a more firm starting point when attempting to descover its intended meaning.
Thingymabobs are exclusively used for nouns. Of course there are uninformed types who might use this word in some other manner. Those people should be dragged into the street, tarred, feathered, and shot. Due to their exclusive nature, one can usually more easily determine the intended meaning of a thingymabob.
Having clearly defined these words, we will now move on to some helpful tips to hitchhikers who might encounter their use.
1) If anyone you encounter for any reason refers to a towel using any one of these words, THEY ARE NOT A HITCHHIKER!! No hitchhiker under any circumstance could ever possibly forget what a towel is. If you encounter anyone pretending to be a hitchhiker who uses one of these words in that fashion, you should immeadiately wrap your towel into a whip-like state and snap at the posing-hitchhiker until he/she/it either leaves or agrees to have sex with you.
2) Occasionally you might encounter someone who refers to their genetalia using one of these words, as in "Hey, baby, wanna suck my Thingymabob?" or, "Want me to take off my shirt and show you my Whatchamacallits?" THESE PEOPLE ARE TO BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS!! Not only is this useage extremely unnatural, it is also indicative of some form of mental retardation or disease carriance. A hitchhiker who wishes to remain a hitchhiker need not associate with this sort of person.
3) When making use of these words be careful not to combine several of them into one sentence as in, "Oh, Watchamacallit! I've Hooziwhatsited Thinymabob for Whatchamacallit, Whatchamacallit!" As should be apparent, all meaning in this sentence is completely lost, and you appear to be a babbling moron (footnote 1). Should you encounter someone who uses words in this fashion, recommend a good psychiatrists, and politely be on your way, as they are not likely to provide any useful information.
4) If a restaurant staff member or wait-person ever uses these words when addressing you as in, "Would you like to try the Hooziwhatsit?" Beat him/her/it to death as they are obviously being a wise-crack and should pay for their crime.
This concludes my Thinymabob on Hooziwhatsits.
FOOTNOTE 1: If you are in a courtroom attempting to prove insanity, then by all means make use of this form of speech as much as possible. You will either prove your insanity, or be shot by a disgruntled attorney who can't get a straight answer out of you.
Whatchamacallit can be used to subsitute any noun, verb, pronoun, adjective, adverb, and indeed any other part of speech for that matter. Being the most versastile, this is also the least specifically descriptive. When attempting to determine what it is being used to substitute, contextual clues, and grammarical use are of extreme importance.
Hooziwhatsit is second only to whatchamacallit in versatility. While more typically used in place of nouns, it is rarely used for verbs and almost never for other parts of speech. This grants a more firm starting point when attempting to descover its intended meaning.
Thingymabobs are exclusively used for nouns. Of course there are uninformed types who might use this word in some other manner. Those people should be dragged into the street, tarred, feathered, and shot. Due to their exclusive nature, one can usually more easily determine the intended meaning of a thingymabob.
Having clearly defined these words, we will now move on to some helpful tips to hitchhikers who might encounter their use.
1) If anyone you encounter for any reason refers to a towel using any one of these words, THEY ARE NOT A HITCHHIKER!! No hitchhiker under any circumstance could ever possibly forget what a towel is. If you encounter anyone pretending to be a hitchhiker who uses one of these words in that fashion, you should immeadiately wrap your towel into a whip-like state and snap at the posing-hitchhiker until he/she/it either leaves or agrees to have sex with you.
2) Occasionally you might encounter someone who refers to their genetalia using one of these words, as in "Hey, baby, wanna suck my Thingymabob?" or, "Want me to take off my shirt and show you my Whatchamacallits?" THESE PEOPLE ARE TO BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS!! Not only is this useage extremely unnatural, it is also indicative of some form of mental retardation or disease carriance. A hitchhiker who wishes to remain a hitchhiker need not associate with this sort of person.
3) When making use of these words be careful not to combine several of them into one sentence as in, "Oh, Watchamacallit! I've Hooziwhatsited Thinymabob for Whatchamacallit, Whatchamacallit!" As should be apparent, all meaning in this sentence is completely lost, and you appear to be a babbling moron (footnote 1). Should you encounter someone who uses words in this fashion, recommend a good psychiatrists, and politely be on your way, as they are not likely to provide any useful information.
4) If a restaurant staff member or wait-person ever uses these words when addressing you as in, "Would you like to try the Hooziwhatsit?" Beat him/her/it to death as they are obviously being a wise-crack and should pay for their crime.
This concludes my Thinymabob on Hooziwhatsits.
FOOTNOTE 1: If you are in a courtroom attempting to prove insanity, then by all means make use of this form of speech as much as possible. You will either prove your insanity, or be shot by a disgruntled attorney who can't get a straight answer out of you.
