Bar Staff

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A large section of the working community who are paid a low wage to stay sober and pour drinks for drunken customers. Many are students and consequently few ever desire to remain behind the bar, instead looking forward to the day when they can get infront of it after a short days well paid work doing trendy things in their chosen sphere.

Unfortunately, many bar staff are under the delusion that they posess some sacred talent in being able to pour a pint. Within the first few weeks of a bar person beginning their new job, their friends are likely to be well versed in such fascinating terminology as "head", "surge", "froth", "pumps" and "ullage". They will probably also have been bombarded with the divine knowledge relating to a 45 degree angle between glass and tap, despite the fact that everyone in the civilised world already knows this and frankly, finds it all rather boring.

The fact is, that a bar persons true talent lies not in pouring assorted liquids into assorted glasses (face it, put twelve monkeys behind a bar and sooner or later they'll come up with a perfect Manhattan). Their talent lies in being able to serve drinks all night to groups of increasingly inebriated, boisterous, offensive, sweaty, irksome blokes whilst remaining perfectly sober, sensible and polite. Couple this with the fact that they have to do it all without sitting down for an entire shift and its plain to see that bar staff, despite occasional shortcomings ("No, I DID give you a tenner") are some of the most hardworking but under-appreciated members of the workforce.

So next time you're infront of a bar, spare a thought for the person behind it. The absurd prices are nothing to do with them, and neither is the selection of lagers which may not be to your taste. The dirty glass you have been given is really nothing personal, just an ACCIDENT; You didn't ask for ice? Its only frozen water and besides, you probably did but were so tanked up you'd forgotten. Just be grateful. Why not buy them a drink? They appreciate it.


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