Groundhopping
Created | Updated Mar 8, 2002
Groundhopping is the practice of visiting as many football grounds as possible. This, however is an oversimplified explanation. The majority of people who do this activity (known as Groundhoppers) have either already been to the majority of decent grounds or have some perverse dislike of good quality football and stadia. A consequence of this is that groundhoppers are more often than not found at non-league football grounds - the more obscure and difficult to get to the better. For a more detailed explanation of what these people get up to it is useful to describe thier equipment.
Perhaps the most essential piece of equipment the groundhopper posesses is the carrier bag. This is usually a high grade bag with some "posing" value such as a cross-channel ferry company or a bus company's name on it. The carrier bag is taken everywhere and the same one is used until it literally falls apart. It is an ideal receptical for carrying those other essential items which will now be detailed.
An essential item is the notebook. These appear in a variety of styles and sizes depending on the individual "hopper's" needs. Some require only to jot down where they've been, others note the player's names, others write match reports and some have been known to draw scale digrams of the ground they are visiting. The notebook results in a number of traditions the most significant being the need to enquire of other hoppers "got the teams yet" and the subsequent comparison of notes and any other important information that can be passed on (for example "I saw him play in an Isthmian Reserve league match last year for Crawley Dogwalkers FC but he went off after two minutes with a toe strain".
Groundhoppers are also very fond of enquiring about the activities of fellow hoppers - commonly trying to out-do each other with tales of where they've been. "Have you been to Bloxwich Rangers Yet?" "I've done all that league now including Dudley Amateurs new ground". Most hoppers actually dislike their fellow travellers and take pleasure only in having visited more grounds or more obscure grounds than each other. They sometimes travel in packs - sharing a car - but this is frowned upon by "real" hoppers who only ever use public transport.
This leads us nicely on to another item found in the carrier bag. Seldom is a groundhoper spotted without a myriad of public transport timetables, most of which are completely useless in the area which he finds himself. Even strnager than this is the chronic inability of most of them to actualy read a timetable which results in them grouping together en route in an attempt to arrive in the correct place on time. Similarly, they all carry an A to Z atlas and none of them can read those either. Many a local person has been confronted by a dishevelled figure with a carrier bag on a saturday afternoon asking how they can get to the football ground on the other side of town in two minutes flat.
One other piece of information required to grasp a basic understanding of groundhopping is the essential attire. Let us start with the feet which are always covered with a pair of old nylon socks and white trainers - supermarket brand never a sportswear brand. Trousers are seldom jeans and often what can only be referred to as "slacks", although this is a vague description because I have never seen these articles on sale anywhere. A football shirt is also required and must be one from the hopper's local non-league team or an obscure foreign team that nobody has ever heard of. An anorak is then worn - in all weather and finally one mustn't forget the personal radio (never a personal stereo) with which the hopper listens to the football results on Radio 5 which he claims not to care about.
Finally, groundhopping is great fun if you can avoid these people. You get to go all over the country visiting different pubs, watch a game of football for a tenth of the price it would cost elsewhere and, have a good laugh at the hoppers.
Perhaps the most essential piece of equipment the groundhopper posesses is the carrier bag. This is usually a high grade bag with some "posing" value such as a cross-channel ferry company or a bus company's name on it. The carrier bag is taken everywhere and the same one is used until it literally falls apart. It is an ideal receptical for carrying those other essential items which will now be detailed.
An essential item is the notebook. These appear in a variety of styles and sizes depending on the individual "hopper's" needs. Some require only to jot down where they've been, others note the player's names, others write match reports and some have been known to draw scale digrams of the ground they are visiting. The notebook results in a number of traditions the most significant being the need to enquire of other hoppers "got the teams yet" and the subsequent comparison of notes and any other important information that can be passed on (for example "I saw him play in an Isthmian Reserve league match last year for Crawley Dogwalkers FC but he went off after two minutes with a toe strain".
Groundhoppers are also very fond of enquiring about the activities of fellow hoppers - commonly trying to out-do each other with tales of where they've been. "Have you been to Bloxwich Rangers Yet?" "I've done all that league now including Dudley Amateurs new ground". Most hoppers actually dislike their fellow travellers and take pleasure only in having visited more grounds or more obscure grounds than each other. They sometimes travel in packs - sharing a car - but this is frowned upon by "real" hoppers who only ever use public transport.
This leads us nicely on to another item found in the carrier bag. Seldom is a groundhoper spotted without a myriad of public transport timetables, most of which are completely useless in the area which he finds himself. Even strnager than this is the chronic inability of most of them to actualy read a timetable which results in them grouping together en route in an attempt to arrive in the correct place on time. Similarly, they all carry an A to Z atlas and none of them can read those either. Many a local person has been confronted by a dishevelled figure with a carrier bag on a saturday afternoon asking how they can get to the football ground on the other side of town in two minutes flat.
One other piece of information required to grasp a basic understanding of groundhopping is the essential attire. Let us start with the feet which are always covered with a pair of old nylon socks and white trainers - supermarket brand never a sportswear brand. Trousers are seldom jeans and often what can only be referred to as "slacks", although this is a vague description because I have never seen these articles on sale anywhere. A football shirt is also required and must be one from the hopper's local non-league team or an obscure foreign team that nobody has ever heard of. An anorak is then worn - in all weather and finally one mustn't forget the personal radio (never a personal stereo) with which the hopper listens to the football results on Radio 5 which he claims not to care about.
Finally, groundhopping is great fun if you can avoid these people. You get to go all over the country visiting different pubs, watch a game of football for a tenth of the price it would cost elsewhere and, have a good laugh at the hoppers.
